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JessWv27
Guest
I would really like to find a nice Christian guy but it seems so hard to come across one in my every day life. Yes there are those who claim to have the title Christian but I find they do not carry the same morals to high respects as I do. Any way I am wondering if anyone has met someone in church and if so, how? Was it a casual interaction or through group meetings?
Yes, exclusively.
I'm involved in the college/young-adults aged ministry at my church, where it's much easier to meet people. I serve there and am in a Bible study, so I've really gotten to know most of the people there (especially the ones in my Bible study because I see them at church twice a week and Bible study once a week). But I don't like to date someone I've just met, so I'll get to know a girl for at least a few months at church before I consider dating her. This is actually better, otherwise you'll get the reputation around church of being that person who dates people they've just met. Volunteering at church and joining a Bible study I've found are the best ways to get to know people.
I think it's a lot more involved than regular dating, but it's the best way to do it in my opinion (and you make good friends in the process)
I'm involved in the college/young-adults aged ministry at my church, where it's much easier to meet people. I serve there and am in a Bible study, so I've really gotten to know most of the people there (especially the ones in my Bible study because I see them at church twice a week and Bible study once a week). But I don't like to date someone I've just met, so I'll get to know a girl for at least a few months at church before I consider dating her. This is actually better, otherwise you'll get the reputation around church of being that person who dates people they've just met. Volunteering at church and joining a Bible study I've found are the best ways to get to know people.
I think it's a lot more involved than regular dating, but it's the best way to do it in my opinion (and you make good friends in the process)
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sadlonelymissjennifer
Guest
I agree. That is actually how I want to meet someone. You are right, though, that it is very hard to meet someone who is a true Christian. I have met more than I can count who say they are and I find out they are not. Good luck to both of us!! I need that, too
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Ugly
Guest
I have. On each occasion i pursued the girl. I'm not a 'walk up and ask her out' type, so i usually spent some time getting to know her before i took it farther. But you're still young. I wouldn't put a lot of emphasis on it now anyways. I'd focus on schooling, and my walk. Also take this time to learn about marriage, being a wife, etc.. don't assume you know and understand it all. Even if you grew up in a happy, two parent household don't assume you can't learn about marriage, or that you have it all figured out. The perspective a child gets watching marriage is not the same as being in a marriage.
I think I'm kind of done looking in churches for women.
My experience is the inside the church the pastel mindset is contagious. People actually can't wait to get into a mortgage and an SUV. Its Ladies Gossip circles, Jesus fish stickers, Chris Tomlin 24/7, weekend men's retreats, and its all about maintaining the same status. If that is what I wanted I would have been married a long time ago.
Its the same concept as a woman who goes to a Christian College to get her MRS degree. I'm sure there are hundreds if not thousands of nice guys who would love to marry the nice girls who would love to marry them.
But I don't think I want a nice girl. I don't want a minivan or a fish sticker. I don't want 3 christian radio presets and a Dish package. I don't want a nice comfortable sense of security about the future and the only adventure that could happen comes from having children. Blech! Gross me out.
I want to live and experience REAL SACRIFICE. I want to move wherever God wants to put me. I want to be friends with prisoners, homeless people and drug addicts. I want to be able to love like that too, something real and not stifled or constricted by the expectations of the culture to be someone or something that I'm not.
My experience is the inside the church the pastel mindset is contagious. People actually can't wait to get into a mortgage and an SUV. Its Ladies Gossip circles, Jesus fish stickers, Chris Tomlin 24/7, weekend men's retreats, and its all about maintaining the same status. If that is what I wanted I would have been married a long time ago.
Its the same concept as a woman who goes to a Christian College to get her MRS degree. I'm sure there are hundreds if not thousands of nice guys who would love to marry the nice girls who would love to marry them.
But I don't think I want a nice girl. I don't want a minivan or a fish sticker. I don't want 3 christian radio presets and a Dish package. I don't want a nice comfortable sense of security about the future and the only adventure that could happen comes from having children. Blech! Gross me out.
I want to live and experience REAL SACRIFICE. I want to move wherever God wants to put me. I want to be friends with prisoners, homeless people and drug addicts. I want to be able to love like that too, something real and not stifled or constricted by the expectations of the culture to be someone or something that I'm not.
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PricelessPoet
Guest
i suggest praying to God about a husband and waiting on Him to bring you someone in His will. Someone who has a mission similar to yours so that you can be a good help mate to Him. Marriage is about purpose...not just the honeymoon, children, work, dishes and bills. God has a plan for you..so you must seek Him for the right man.
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Jullianna
Guest
I have never, ever dated anyone from my church. At my current church they are all too young or too old for me I think. At previous churches, the guys seemed kinda quiet and shy, and I won't ask guys out, so...
I'm not even aware of women when I'm at church. My mind is focused on the mass and on Christ and on my own unworthiness.
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Jullianna
Guest
I agree with that, Gabe. I don't pay attention to other people much during services either in that way, but I do get to know other people in small groups and fellowship activities. To be honest, I would be hesitant to date someone from my church. Seems like it would be awkward if it didn't work out and I reeeeeeeeeeeeally like my church.
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Yea that would be one big reason that I wouldn't date someone in my church if I could, and I've looked and there are no other churches I could attend unless I drive at least 10 miles. Plus, it would mar the good memories in that church for me. Hey there's an idea! How about dating someone from a different church!
No, I never have dated someone in church. In fact, I have never dated. As I grow older, I have a deep gratitude about this, but I will admit that it was hard in my teens and twenties.
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agirlandherguitar
Guest
Depends on the reason...
I've been reintroduced to church over a year ago after not going for a very long time and I'm very glad I went back!
As a single girl I have to admit that there are distractions everywhere! Especially if you have the mindset of going places in the hopes that you might meet somebody. 99% of the time it sucks the fun out of going out because it's really disappointing when you don't meet any cute guys! I'm getting to the point where I no longer think that but it's still at the back of my mind just lurking...
I had a big crush on a guy at my church that lasted longer than I want to admit and it never went anywhere. It made going to church difficult and made me question my motives of going. Was I there for God or was I there for the boys?
Nice Christian ladies figure/are told the best place to find a nice Christian guy is at church. Unfortunately for us there are less single men attending church these days than single girls so not only is competition stiff but it shows that church may not be the best place to find your dude.
Church should not be viewed as a meat market. Although it seems like a good place to meet single men who are Christian it should not be the reason for a single girl to attend church. God will surprise you and gift many men and women with a future spouse in very random places.
Let the pressure of dating within the church be lifted. You are not expected to do it. If it happens it happens and that's great but I don't think it's the path for everybody.
NOTE: When I say "you" I don't necessarily mean you the poster but you plural.
I've been reintroduced to church over a year ago after not going for a very long time and I'm very glad I went back!
As a single girl I have to admit that there are distractions everywhere! Especially if you have the mindset of going places in the hopes that you might meet somebody. 99% of the time it sucks the fun out of going out because it's really disappointing when you don't meet any cute guys! I'm getting to the point where I no longer think that but it's still at the back of my mind just lurking...
I had a big crush on a guy at my church that lasted longer than I want to admit and it never went anywhere. It made going to church difficult and made me question my motives of going. Was I there for God or was I there for the boys?
Nice Christian ladies figure/are told the best place to find a nice Christian guy is at church. Unfortunately for us there are less single men attending church these days than single girls so not only is competition stiff but it shows that church may not be the best place to find your dude.
Church should not be viewed as a meat market. Although it seems like a good place to meet single men who are Christian it should not be the reason for a single girl to attend church. God will surprise you and gift many men and women with a future spouse in very random places.
Let the pressure of dating within the church be lifted. You are not expected to do it. If it happens it happens and that's great but I don't think it's the path for everybody.
NOTE: When I say "you" I don't necessarily mean you the poster but you plural.
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JessWv27
Guest
wow, great to hear many people's points of view's on this subject! I appreciate everyone giving their own insight on the matter. I only ask because it seems when I date someone with different beliefs it interfears with my relationship with God... as if I'm not being true to myself. I think it would be wonderful to meet another who also can relate which is why I bring up the church scene. However, I agree with seems like the majority of the responses... It is all in God's hands and there is no need to worry When the time is right he will provide for us even greater than we could have imagined 
When the time is right he will provide for us even greater than we could have imagined
Here is my stand about dating: I don't. That's it. I don't date. I don't look for dates, I don't want to date. I just don't. I am waiting for God's best. Now, a great deal of people will argue and say that I have to be 'active' in waiting, and their definition of 'active' is dating and looking. My definition of 'active' is to be passionately patient, seeking God's plan and will for my life, obedient and soft-hearted, open to correction and wisdom and guidance and growth. I am not sitting around waiting in the sense that some would mockingly say 'waiting for God to drop a man into my life'. No, I'm serving and seeking God as I wait.
The reason I mention this is because, well, dating seems to dominate the Christian world, just as it dominates the non-Christian world. I have been on one date in my life, my freshman year of high school, for one night, and once I returned to Christ, I have never dated anyone. I am 32. I don't regret this.
Anyway, I guess I just wanted to say it. I am critiquing a few books regarding being single, books that claim to be Christian based and are anything but, and it kind of lights a fire under me, you know? I'll get down off my soapbox now. Thanks for listening.
The reason I mention this is because, well, dating seems to dominate the Christian world, just as it dominates the non-Christian world. I have been on one date in my life, my freshman year of high school, for one night, and once I returned to Christ, I have never dated anyone. I am 32. I don't regret this.
Anyway, I guess I just wanted to say it.
I am critiquing a few books regarding being single, books that claim to be Christian based and are anything but, and it kind of lights a fire under me, you know? I'll get down off my soapbox now. Thanks for listening.
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agirlandherguitar
Guest
Here is my stand about dating: I don't. That's it. I don't date. I don't look for dates, I don't want to date. I just don't. I am waiting for God's best. Now, a great deal of people will argue and say that I have to be 'active' in waiting, and their definition of 'active' is dating and looking. My definition of 'active' is to be passionately patient, seeking God's plan and will for my life, obedient and soft-hearted, open to correction and wisdom and guidance and growth. I am not sitting around waiting in the sense that some would mockingly say 'waiting for God to drop a man into my life'. No, I'm serving and seeking God as I wait.
The reason I mention this is because, well, dating seems to dominate the Christian world, just as it dominates the non-Christian world. I have been on one date in my life, my freshman year of high school, for one night, and once I returned to Christ, I have never dated anyone. I am 32. I don't regret this.
Anyway, I guess I just wanted to say it.
Amen, sister! I'd like to know which books your reading and hear what you have to say about them.
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Jullianna
Guest
wow, great to hear many people's points of view's on this subject! I appreciate everyone giving their own insight on the matter. I only ask because it seems when I date someone with different beliefs it interfears with my relationship with God... as if I'm not being true to myself. I think it would be wonderful to meet another who also can relate which is why I bring up the church scene. However, I agree with seems like the majority of the responses... It is all in God's hands and there is no need to worry
I only date christians, but they aren't from my church. They are from THE CHURCH though.
You're absolutely right that dating non-christians will interfere with your walk with Christ. And, you are right that there's no need to worry. There are so many other things in life deserving of our time and attention.
