Dating Site or Not a Dating Site.

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#1
#1
Since I've become active on this site, this topic has come to me several times, and it's starting make me feel weird.

I realize that this is not a dating site, and yet there are a whole bunch of us who are single. We even have a singles group. But that is not exactly the part that is bothering me. It's the attitude I'm feeling. It's like if someone just starts to show the smallest signs that someone might be interested in someone else, then it's like, "hey this is not a dating site" or "your a player.". This attitude perplexes me when it is coming from someone that lives an entire country away. It makes me wonder, how many people are traveling to another country to get a wife or husband? I seldom even leave my own house or place of work. I haven't even been out of my own state since the late 90's, when I went to the Michigan dunes.

I've been to dating sites, and in my opinion they are too extreme in the other direction. Yes you are there to date, and yet I think skipping the friendship part is a big mistake. What I mean is, people don't want to waste time, getting to know someone very well. They just want to pick someone they think could be right for them, and then just start dating. I don't think doing it this way works very well. At least not on the long term. I call it "quick to start and quick to burn out."

The bottom line. The reason why I decided to write this is, I would like to see more balance. If this website was more like a real life Christian social group, there would need for balance. There would be some people falling in love, and others that weren't falling in love. But I don't think in real life people would be saying things like: "oh this is not a dating place", and then completely close themselves off to the possibility.

When I'm on this site, I'm trying to drive down the center of the road. So that when I meet Women, I just want to allow the friendship to grow in whatever direction it naturally wants to go in. Remember I'm single, and just about everyone I meet is also single.

BTW I'm not a player. If I were a good player I would of had someone by now! I probably got called that because the other person thought I was being flirty or something... (((shruggs))) Ask me if I care? I really don't! And yet on the other hand, I do get a little tired of people being too judgmental with someone they don't even know in real life.

I often think that if some of you were to meet me in real life, your opinion would change some.
 
CharliRenee

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
#2
Nov 4, 2014
6,687
7,165
113
#2
Seeking-Christ said:
Since I've become active on this site, this topic has come to me several times, and it's starting make me feel weird.

I realize that this is not a dating site, and yet there are a whole bunch of us who are single. We even have a singles group. But that is not exactly the part that is bothering me. It's the attitude I'm feeling. It's like if someone just starts to show the smallest signs that someone might be interested in someone else, then it's like, "hey this is not a dating site" or "your a player.". This attitude perplexes me when it is coming from someone that lives an entire country away. It makes me wonder, how many people are traveling to another country to get a wife or husband? I seldom even leave my own house or place of work. I haven't even been out of my own state since the late 90's, when I went to the Michigan dunes.

I've been to dating sites, and in my opinion they are too extreme in the other direction. Yes you are there to date, and yet I think skipping the friendship part is a big mistake. What I mean is, people don't want to waste time, getting to know someone very well. They just want to pick someone they think could be right for them, and then just start dating. I don't think doing it this way works very well. At least not on the long term. I call it "quick to start and quick to burn out."

The bottom line. The reason why I decided to write this is, I would like to see more balance. If this website was more like a real life Christian social group, there would need for balance. There would be some people falling in love, and others that weren't falling in love. But I don't think in real life people would be saying things like: "oh this is not a dating place", and then completely close themselves off to the possibility.

When I'm on this site, I'm trying to drive down the center of the road. So that when I meet Women, I just want to allow the friendship to grow in whatever direction it naturally wants to go in. Remember I'm single, and just about everyone I meet is also single.

BTW I'm not a player. If I were a good player I would of had someone by now! I probably got called that because the other person thought I was being flirty or something... (((shruggs))) Ask me if I care? I really don't! And yet on the other hand, I do get a little tired of people being too judgmental with someone they don't even know in real life.

I often think that if some of you were to meet me in real life, your opinion would change some.
Click to expand...
I agree with you. I do understand, though, ppl trying to discourage a flood of too many peeps coming here looking only for love. They want it to be safe place for the ppl who use this site only to grow in Christ and to fellowship with other believers.

With that said, I think if ppl find love here, like Tourist and his lady, that is awesome. Balance is key, like you said, and we can't try and mandate everyones intention for being here. I just want ppl to be very careful here. For me, I am cool being single, not looking but who knows. It has to be organic. I doubt it happening because I am quite content just as it is.

I love what you said about being too judgemental of ppl we don't know in real life...yes, spot on. I agree. We do need to be cautious while not thinking the worst of others. Discernment is a great resource and but sometimes requires time to determine.
 
A

amustardseed

New member
#3
May 16, 2022
8
7
3
#3
In many ways the dating sites of the world that many hate to confess they actually had an account at one time (self included) have some traipses of distrust of any man that is simply being a kind Christian. I had to actually repent of my own emotional expectations of dating sites and quickly learned if a seducing spirit that lurks behind the glass screens. Repentance and fasting cleared away an over active imagination and caused me to be loosed from being an emotionally desperate Debbie. Since refocusing fully on the word of God, confessing my own misunderstandings if boundaries my FIRST love engulfed me into His word.
Brothers are in this site, single, sure alit of women are. Anyone that exhibits the fruit of the spirit doesn't deserve to be met with fears of sinning in thoughts or an overactive imagination. The world and it's delicacies carry a risk of having strong delusions, will pass on opening up such doors. Hey brothers! Blessings to you all for treating your sisters in here appropriately and vice versa.
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#4
#4
I'm trying to accurate in my comment. The problem is, I'm adding things up. I'm adding my experiences with other websites with this website. It kinda makes my paragraphs seem a little off.

I think my conversations with men tend to last longer then my conversations with women. Yet I find myself talking to women more then I talk to men. I think this is caused by the attraction of the two genders. Or maybe it's just the male attraction to the female. I've been using the internet for meeting people since 2002, and yet I'm still trying to figure how to operate in this cyberspace.

In the time I've been on this site, I think I only maybe for a short time befriended one male. All the rest have been female, and it really hasn't been all that many. Maybe three or four at best. You can't go on my following list. Cause it doesn't tell you how many people Private message with me. I have met some females on this site that seem to think I talk to bunches of other females. It's so sad that people get these ideas about me because if they only could sit next to me, at the computer they would see the truth.

Going back to the men verses women friend thing... There is a guy on the PCLinuxOS forums that I've been writing to, for over a year now. 90% of my female "friends" don't last any longer then a month or two. I've had some that only lasted a week, and that was it. I find it extremely difficult to keep things alive online. People loose interest and move on.

I went through a time period where I wasn't talking to any females. For the past several years I was involved with a forum site called cupoflinux. It's no longer in service. The only people who were on it were other men. Which is why I went through several years not talking to women. Another reason is that Social Anxiety Support was where I was getting my female friends, and all of them were leaving the site. Finally I had to leave too. They probably went to facebook or instagram, and I don't do any of that stuff, because I don't think those sites are good for me.
 
S

satnamapply

New member
#5
Sep 23, 2022
3
0
1
#5
I think that this is still a good alternative for those who simply do not know how or do not want to get acquainted in real time.
 
S

satnamapply

New member
#8
Sep 23, 2022
3
0
1
#8
satnamapply said:
Thank you so much! Hope we all enjoy spending time on this forum
Click to expand...
I agree with what you said about the "friendship" stage that people skip to start dating right away. I think this doesn't seem right because it means you are missing a great opportunity to get to know a person in all sorts of situations that could show you his real personality and intentions. It is just my opinion; for example, my friend loves to look for new acquaintances on such sites. Lately, he has constantly been telling me about the site https://www.uadreams.com/ukrainian-women-photo-gallery on which he has already found someone he has fallen in love with. All people are different, and there is no need to condemn anyone
 
You must log in or register to reply here.