Death and Sympathy

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MusicalMe

Guest
#1
Naturally, as Christians, we have no need of fearing death. But why do so many people act like you can't be sad about death?

For example, when I was a teen, a man from my church died in a car wreck. The first thing my Sunday school teacher said to the family was "I'm so jealous - he beat me to heaven!" I'm sorry, but that's kind of heartless and it's not what the family needs to hear.

When I was in college, another car crash killed my pastor and the church pianist. They were the same age as my parents and I desperately wanted to tell my parents how much I love them (I think death always reminds us to let our loved ones know what they mean to us) but they were out of town so I couldn't reach them for a week. I cried a lot during that week, and my boyfriend at the time (who is a Christian) scolded me for it. "You shouldn't be sad," he said, "they are in heaven!" (the pastor and pianist - not my parents). That's also a harsh thing to say.

Why do we so often act like it's not ok to be sad about death?

Will we be reunited in heaven? Yes. Are they in a better place? Yes. Do we still miss them? Yes.

I think we forget that even Jesus cried when Lazarus was dead.

Thoughts? What do you feel our role is when comforting someone who's lost a loved one?
 
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wwjd_kilden

Guest
#2
Sorrow is natural, and it's needed to get to acceptance (and even after that it will probably appear now and then, even if it is not as overwhelming as it was at first). Bbeing able to grieve is a sign of love, even though you know the person is in a better place.

Doesn't the bible tell us to cry with those who are sad and rejoice with those that are happy?
 
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godisdaman

Guest
#3
I understand where you are going..

About 6 years ago my brother was killed in a car accident he was 17 I was 12 so I really didnt understand everything quite yet. But now that I look back on it, it saddens me everyday at some point I remember him and I miss him. I understand what it is like to be told don't worry he is in heaven but yet his body is 10 feet from me in a casket I mean I know we are suppose to be joyful for the Lord has another child in heaven but its tough. Now, when people pass on it is easier much easier to accept. You realize its apart of live. And I am not saying its easier to say joyful things because all deaths are different and each one have there own problems. But cry all you want. Its normal. But in the end remember they are walking with Jesus Christ in Heaven on streets of GOLD. I can't even imagine what that day is going to be like!!!!
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
4,581
113
#4
I'm very sorry, Godisdaman. I'm not sure how I would process losing a sibling at such a young age... The first person I ever lost whom I was really close to was my Grandma, and that was only in 2007 (I've been to other funerals, gone through other deaths, but nothing as close to my heart as this.) I cried every morning for weeks, telling God, "God, my Grandma is gone," as if He didn't know that already, and sometimes I still cry and tell Him all about her (again, as if He didn't know!) I think that maybe the reason why it hurts so much is because by our very nature, we were never designed for such things as separation and having someone leave us--God's plan for the very beginning of the universe and most especially for man was to be together with Him, ALWAYS--never separated, never lost, never abandoned... and this is what we feel when someone we love dies. I think, to an extent, we feel that great pain because it is a highly "unnatural" state in the respect that feeling separated or as if we have lost someone is not what God ever wanted for us--I think the reason we feel such pain is because we feel it deep within ourselves that this is something that goes against God's nature and the natural laws He put into place at the beginning of creation. What He wanted for all of mankind is a family that stays together for all time and never loses any of its members.