How can I trust anything in this world, when there is nothing but hatred and betrayal. All past hopes and dreams crash around me and there is nothing left but denial in the face of reality. Love has become a word that rewards players with what they want in a game of gullible fools, willing to believe the lie but not wanting to know the truth.
I can’t breathe with the weight of this crushing torment pressing over me like a fiery hot iron. Pressing hard, scorching the fibers within with each second I dwell on any moment too long. All lines are erased, and no trace of the happy life that once almost lived. Just flat scorched material is left of a life unlived.
What about the calm that all storms are known to bring? Can calm actually exist in a world that is tormented by a ravenous enemy that seeks out those who are weak and may be so easily devoured. Even the strong ones get eaten up in the end.
The lies are all around me, so easily I become ensnared. I am so blind! Even believing that I actually want things the way they are, as I slowly fade away into eternal death and darkness. The lies are easy, the lies feel safe, but they leave me so empty with a longing for something more. I try to fill that void with everything and anything but the truth.
It’s hard to see the truth in all the lies, but it is there, leaping out like a blinding light to those who want to see. It is here, it is everywhere but it is avoided like a shotgun blast ringing out in the midst of a crowd. I hide, run, try to get away from what is trying to change me. How dare it! The lies! Hide and hold on to the lies, they make me feel safe!
But the lies are empty. I search for something more only because of His loving kindness. When we seek we will find the truth and there is nothing else that can break the bondage's that the enemy wrapped us in, but the truth!
I am vile, I am wretched and the very one who created me is a just and Holy Creator, so how can I stand? Who is able to walk before this Judge and not immediately want to turn and run and hide from what the truth is revealing in us? So afraid, so filthy, no denying what I am.
Then I see the blood! Puddles of love dripping down all around me, drenching me in crimson mercy with only the purest of white remaining. Where is the stain? No, not one remains. A tree formed into a cross stands where I press my tear stained face as I see the love growing up from what once was a broken cast away life.
Nothing is left, nothing but adoration and complete broken surrender to a God who did not even withhold His own Son from us, but withheld our eternal judgement. Who could have so great a love than that! We love Him, only because of His love for us, yet He adorns and prepares us to be His Bride!