Honestly dude I have no idea what to say to this. Yet somehow I typed a LONG post. Apologies in advance but you remind me of a different time in my life that I haven't thought about in a while. Not that specific time period at least.
NOFAP isn't a terrible website, if it works for you then awesome. Personally I find it gross and something of a trigger.
Being on there when you are "struggling" would be the last thing I'd want to do at this point. A time where you aren't feeling "tension" and copy/pasting posts that would be useful and productive for you when you are "struggling" isn't a bad idea to read offline in those moments.
The ones that inspire you and encourage you.
I know there are Christians and non-Christians alike on that forum but you have to expect some saboteurs as well. People that are legit posting to just trip people up. I read about a fetish when I found that site that I seriously regret reading about and I disagree with the poster for publicly posting about it. I knew about it but it brings in the occult in an intentional way and any young person reading that would then know what that was (highly doubt most would know) or be curious.
There's almost always something more and let's say you were into something unusual, you wouldn't go being explicit about it...and yet that stuff happens there from what I've seen. It makes sense to just ask if someone has any experience with something and to be implicit and receive input from people that actually have come out on the other side of a particular struggle. Rather than to struggle together and both fall into a pit if that makes sense.
So like I said, if browsing when you feel strong helps you. Go for it. There's nothing wrong with the 40 day challenge. Have you tried that?
Porn can produce a lot of really weird side effects like attractions that if you cut it out, you may find that it stops entirely...or severely minimizes. I know a LOT about this topic because while I know that "it's bad" the psychology of "why" it's SO bad (worse than fornication for your body/brain at least) is something I'm gifted with understanding. I don't mean you stop having a libido. I mean it goes back to baseline...as in not twisted by obvious taboo or orientations.
IRL if someone is legitimately taking "actionable" steps (beyond their thought life) toward adultery with another man's wife. To cuckold them...I cut off contact. The thought life can be managed and worked through and hey maybe the Lord even straight up delivers you overnight from it (it happens) but actions cannot be undone.
Yes there are many lonely dissatisfied women out there. As a Christian man your job is to be mindful of that and honorable to their weaknesses. If there's a woman you feel is hitting on you...shut it down. Brutally if she isn't getting the hint. Brutal to me is "where is your husband." or "I don't talk to married women, I'm sorry." Or even that you find it inappropriate and you can't. You don't need to tell them that you'd really love to and charm them and THEN shut it down...that's cruel. Just be honest if you have to. If you can't get to know elders of the church and let them know about this and to help you through these encounters you are in the wrong church. If you have access but choose not to, that's another story.
Shutting down someone hard is going to hurt their feelings but being blunt up front isn't wrong scripturally as far as I can tell. Paul was very blunt at times from my reading. It isn't appropriate for you to be around that. If you can't redirect your sexuality toward something else like working out, etc. at least then don't go to that church.
God has met me within my tension many times. There's always a way out of temptation (First Corinthians 10:13). I know some people talk about freedom from lust or whatever but I've prayed enough to believe that's not what God has for me at this time...it's about self-control and it has been a VERY long process and I do see a lot of things that were so strong before be almost nothing at this point. No interest, no desire except for to be married to one woman for the rest of my life. Even the fantasies are boring at this point because God isn't in that. Not to say I don't still appreciate the female form but it costs SO much now and I feel almost broke.
For me drinking leads to PMO. Idk how it doesn't for you, but maybe you're different from most people.
but I'm not telling the full story online. There's more and I hope I'm not presenting a false front by sharing bits and pieces.
Avoid the club or the bar or wherever it is you go. What is it about that scene that you like...playing with fire?
That can make a person feel powerful, but the energy of a bunch of non-believers around you who couldn't care less about whether you PMO all the time doesn't strengthen your walk. Quite the opposite actually.
It's true that it "can" provide such a contrast that it makes it obvious that you don't belong there and you learn "the hard way" what not to do...but there is a large price tag to that approach. God is not mocked, you reap what you sow.
I don't say that as a "holier than thou" response. Just that I see it work in my own life. Might take until you're 30 or 40 but it's a sure thing. Even in people that aren't Christians...they have regrets. Regret is a terrible thing to carry around. I think for believers it can fade and become a scar but that scar can still bring up painful memories from time to time.
Dabbling is risky. Sounds like that's what you are doing. I get it. I've done that. Not sexually (except in my thoughts & dreams) but with equally damning things. So if you'd like to talk about it further just tell me and I'll PM you if I still can. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt that you are in a "rough patch" in your walk with God and in a borderline state of rebellion and it is causing people on here to question whether you are a believer or not. That's understandable. The ice "can" get too thin man and you can fall in over your head and drown.
Sounds like you need to at least get to more stable ground. Cut out porn as much as you are able or consider what is stopping you from doing so.
