Different view of God the Father

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By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him.
In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. (1 Jn 4:9-10)
 
How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
And make a wretch His treasure

[video=youtube;dLDGVl8D5UU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLDGVl8D5UU[/video]
 
You seem to contradict yourself. If there is no fear in love then we cannot continue to fear God when we love Him. His perfect love casts out fear, which has to do with punishment. We love because He first loved us. We do not worship in fear, or adore in fear, or love in fear, we simply worship, love, and adore Him for all He is and all He has done, with pure unadulterated joy, gratitude, and devotion :)

I guess I didn't explain it well.

What I'm saying is that the fear of God is a different type of fear than what John was referring to.

This fear trusts in God with the knowledge that we've been adopted into the beloved that cries out, "Abba Father."

God's fear gives us the knowledge of his amazing character which is love towards His children. His wonders and His glory - there is no one like our God.

This fear also births in us the desire to be in fellowship and unity with our Heavenly Father. It's why we learn to hate sin and desire to please our Lord; He keeps us and reminds us that sin separates us and we are drawn away from living in continuous sin. This fear keeps us resting in his desire for holy lives that serve Him in obedience, bearing much fruit.

This fear gives us a deep awareness of His Holiness; we seek to be holy as He is holy. The fear of God is reverence and awe of the
majesty and power of our God and especially the love of God.

Matthew 10:28-30
Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.

2 Corinthians 7:1 Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

1 Peter 1:17 Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king.

The fear that John was speaking of is a specific fear - an irrational fear of the unknown. We don't have to fear our eternal destiny if we're in Christ. Only the world of unbelievers need to worry about that.
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We love to consider ourselves children of God Most High, but when it comes to allowing God to be Father to us, we balk. Just human nature I suppose.

God is in the process of conforming us to the image of His Son (Rom 8:29). This "conforming" begins the moment we are born again and continues throughout our lifetime on this earth.

I know there have been times when God was working in me to remove something detrimental to me that I did not want to let go of. So He would remove it, and I would take it back and He had to remove it over and over until I "got it" and let it go. What peace I felt when I finally quit fighting Him.

Proverbs 3:11-12 tells us to not despise the chastening of the Lord or be weary of His correction. God corrects those He loves, just as a father corrects his child.

We do not have a problem with a parent who disciplines his/her children, but for some reason God is not afforded the same authority to discipline His children. And Hebrews 12:11 tells us no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

Another way of looking at it is that God is the Potter and we are the clay He is working on, making us into vessels of honor. Have you ever seen a potter making a vase? He/She starts with a blob of clay and works on it until the clay takes on the shape intended. The potter molds the clay with his/her hands. And sometimes that means removing unneeded clay. Once the clay is molded, it is thrown into the oven. That is like the times of trial we go through. Will we stand up to the trial and endure to the end? Or will we crumble and fall apart?

It would be good if you would re-think your belief that Father God "is an angry smiter who wishes to condemn and punish [you] for everything [you] do wrong" and start believing that Father God is working in you (and all of His children) to conform us to the image of His Son ... making us into vessels of honor so that we become useful instruments to Him in this life. We need to let Him work in us to bring us close to Him. He will use us to draw others to Him.