We love to consider ourselves children of God Most High, but when it comes to allowing God to be Father to us, we balk. Just human nature I suppose.
God is in the process of conforming us to the image of His Son (Rom 8:29). This "conforming" begins the moment we are born again and continues throughout our lifetime on this earth.
I know there have been times when God was working in me to remove something detrimental to me that I did not want to let go of. So He would remove it, and I would take it back and He had to remove it over and over until I "got it" and let it go. What peace I felt when I finally quit fighting Him.
Proverbs 3:11-12 tells us to not despise the chastening of the Lord or be weary of His correction. God corrects those He loves, just as a father corrects his child.
We do not have a problem with a parent who disciplines his/her children, but for some reason God is not afforded the same authority to discipline His children. And Hebrews 12:11 tells us no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
Another way of looking at it is that God is the Potter and we are the clay He is working on, making us into vessels of honor. Have you ever seen a potter making a vase? He/She starts with a blob of clay and works on it until the clay takes on the shape intended. The potter molds the clay with his/her hands. And sometimes that means removing unneeded clay. Once the clay is molded, it is thrown into the oven. That is like the times of trial we go through. Will we stand up to the trial and endure to the end? Or will we crumble and fall apart?
It would be good if you would re-think your belief that Father God "is an angry smiter who wishes to condemn and punish [you] for everything [you] do wrong" and start believing that Father God is working in you (and all of His children) to conform us to the image of His Son ... making us into vessels of honor so that we become useful instruments to Him in this life. We need to let Him work in us to bring us close to Him. He will use us to draw others to Him.