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[Stuey]

I had an extremely deflating meeting earlier this week. Certainly got me thinking as to what I truly value in life though. To give you some background information.

At the moment I am currently studying honours, I've done my undergrad and also the coursework for my honours (worth 50%) and just have my thesis to do now, my marks were 80% which is decent. I had assumed that I would be able to get a scholarship fairly easily - After a conversation, however, it turns out that to be considered for a scholarship I need to get an 85% average which means 90% for the thesis. In other words it's going to be extremely difficult to get this, like insanely difficult.

Previous to this conversation I thought it would be easy enough to get support to do a PHD. Now I feel very... deflated. I feel I have been working towards this for ages now and everything just seems so much further away. It's not that I have been working towards these things for the wrong reasons, some bad motivations probably are there, but I think generally I have had decent motivations towards working towards this.

Long term I wanted to do a PHD as - I think I'm decent at the kind of work - and it opens up job opportunities that would be suited to me. Particularly it would give me some options for work in a -

Government Job - well paying but really I'm not too keen for this job.
Uni work in Australia - very competitive, possible to get into.
Politics - long term
University work outside of Australia - This one is fairly realistic - probably in a country that needs missionaries - a PHD can get you to places overseas.

But yeah... finding out that I might not be able to get support for a PHD quite upset me. If I don't get a scholarship for it I may still be able to do one - but it would take me 5-6 years+ instead of 3-5. For those wondering why it would take so long and why don't I just do part time work with a PHD at the same time - I have limitations on the amount of work I can do, if I put myself under too much pressure I can crash and burn. Plus I like to enjoy life and have numerous good commitments and would like to do more things.

The things that upset me though is not necessarily the fact of being at uni for another year or two. But more feelings of

1. Things taking forever - a feeling that I'm going no where in life. I'm 23 at the moment, 24 in June. If I finish my PHD in six years I'll be 30. That's old. I feel like my life has finally spun out of control and went nowhere.

2. Related to this - I'd love to get married in the next few years, I know that isn't entirely in my control, or even really in my control at all! But I'd like to. And I guess the thought of being poor for a few more years - the thought that a wife wouldn't want to be poor for a while? Or that I am somehow inadequate because, if I do decide to continue with a PHD, I wouldn't have a solid full time job - or significant part time job necessarily.

A few of you who know me may know, or may not know, that I'm not particularly money driven. (at least I hope so...) I don't want the white picket fence, the big house, the expensive car etc. I want to live cheaply - possibly even cheaply by university student standards - and I want my eventual wife to feel this way too.

Yet, I find myself, particularly upset by these facts, that I would take several more years - that I might be a bit poorer because I wouldn't have a scholarship. Because I somehow feel that MY life needs to be going in the right direction and that I need to somehow have my life and future totally planned out, organised, and well financed before i get married. To me it I feel it displays how easy it is to be career oriented in life... To need to have the stable job, successful education, to be going somewhere etc. Rather than just doing what God wants us to - which may be those things of course! But it could just be living for him and serving where we are placed. I have great opportunities at university to do good things.

Hmm, this is half a ramble, but what do you guys think? Have any of you experienced similar situations before? Or feel like you have been in a similar situation?

 

[kenisyes]

I faced a similar decision in 1972. I wanted to teach, not research. I felt too young to be happy with a thesis topic, so settled for ABD (informal for "all but dissertation"). I spent my life in dual careers, teaching and ministry. Still do both today. Plenty of money, and plenty of revelation. Did plenty of dissertation level research. Made "visiting porfessor" two years ago for first time. But 13 years full time, made tenure, taught at many different schools part time in partial retirement.

God wants it; God gets it. If your gifts are from Him, He will work it out. If they are not from Him, do you want it anyway?

By the way, it doesn't go away. I can retire from teaching any time, with pension and social security. Still thinking I might marry again, since my wife died. Still not sure if I should retire due to her possible needs. My ministry is nearly full time now, do it all for free.

 

[arwen83]

I had an extremely deflating meeting earlier this week. Certainly got me thinking as to what I truly value in life though. To give you some background information.

At the moment I am currently studying honours, I've done my undergrad and also the coursework for my honours (worth 50%) and just have my thesis to do now, my marks were 80% which is decent. I had assumed that I would be able to get a scholarship fairly easily - After a conversation, however, it turns out that to be considered for a scholarship I need to get an 85% average which means 90% for the thesis. In other words it's going to be extremely difficult to get this, like insanely difficult.

Previous to this conversation I thought it would be easy enough to get support to do a PHD. Now I feel very... deflated. I feel I have been working towards this for ages now and everything just seems so much further away. It's not that I have been working towards these things for the wrong reasons, some bad motivations probably are there, but I think generally I have had decent motivations towards working towards this.

Long term I wanted to do a PHD as - I think I'm decent at the kind of work - and it opens up job opportunities that would be suited to me. Particularly it would give me some options for work in a -

Government Job - well paying but really I'm not too keen for this job.
Uni work in Australia - very competitive, possible to get into.
Politics - long term
University work outside of Australia - This one is fairly realistic - probably in a country that needs missionaries - a PHD can get you to places overseas.

But yeah... finding out that I might not be able to get support for a PHD quite upset me. If I don't get a scholarship for it I may still be able to do one - but it would take me 5-6 years+ instead of 3-5. For those wondering why it would take so long and why don't I just do part time work with a PHD at the same time - I have limitations on the amount of work I can do, if I put myself under too much pressure I can crash and burn. Plus I like to enjoy life and have numerous good commitments and would like to do more things.

The things that upset me though is not necessarily the fact of being at uni for another year or two. But more feelings of

1. Things taking forever - a feeling that I'm going no where in life. I'm 23 at the moment, 24 in June. If I finish my PHD in six years I'll be 30. That's old. I feel like my life has finally spun out of control and went nowhere.

2. Related to this - I'd love to get married in the next few years, I know that isn't entirely in my control, or even really in my control at all! But I'd like to. And I guess the thought of being poor for a few more years - the thought that a wife wouldn't want to be poor for a while? Or that I am somehow inadequate because, if I do decide to continue with a PHD, I wouldn't have a solid full time job - or significant part time job necessarily.

A few of you who know me may know, or may not know, that I'm not particularly money driven. (at least I hope so...) I don't want the white picket fence, the big house, the expensive car etc. I want to live cheaply - possibly even cheaply by university student standards - and I want my eventual wife to feel this way too.

Yet, I find myself, particularly upset by these facts, that I would take several more years - that I might be a bit poorer because I wouldn't have a scholarship. Because I somehow feel that MY life needs to be going in the right direction and that I need to somehow have my life and future totally planned out, organised, and well financed before i get married. To me it I feel it displays how easy it is to be career oriented in life... To need to have the stable job, successful education, to be going somewhere etc. Rather than just doing what God wants us to - which may be those things of course! But it could just be living for him and serving where we are placed. I have great opportunities at university to do good things.

Hmm, this is half a ramble, but what do you guys think? Have any of you experienced similar situations before? Or feel like you have been in a similar situation?

I relate to a lot of this. My situation I am done my undergrad next April, I was going to do my masters and become a counselor but I am not getting enough from the government right now for student loans. I was thinking about this the past few months, thinking 'this is taking forever!!!! I am tired of being here and just want to be done!!!'. So I don't think I will go for my masters, I would like to be a counselor, but I will be in so much debt that it would very difficult to afford to have a family and it all depends on my husband's financial situation as well. Plus, I'll be like 33. So there is the whole marriage thing, I would quit school to have a child if the opportunity presented itself, because I put family as a higher priority in life.

I can't really give you any advice, because I am kind of in the same place as you. I pray and journal my frustrations a lot. I know a few of my friends feel the same way, its comforting to know that I am not alone. At this point in life, I am looking at the short-term, because a lot can change in 1 year. So I am thinking not to worry so much right now, just focus on the present and getting my work done. Next April, I'll decide at that time what to do.

 

[Jullianna]

Between marriage, raising a child (almost half of his life on my own) and working fulltime, earning my masters was quite a chore. It took forever, but I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, as it has opened amazing doors for me professionally. Hang in there, Stuey!

 

[Hellooo]

I was kind of in the same spot 2-3 years ago when I was giving serious thought to pursuing a graduate degree. At the time, I wanted to go for my MBA and law school and even went as far as taking the tests to start applying, but my reasons for NOT doing it were mainly cost (after looking at cost vs benefit) and just being realistic on pinpointing what I really wanted to accomplish (i must have been out of my mind, I would never want to practice law), so I opted to just continue acquiring professional experience and going after licenses and designations rather than going back for more school. I would love to be married, and don't have a problem with putting my work on hold to be with my family, but I'm not, so I'm fine with keeping busy with work and other things for now. For me, I think dropping the whole idea of going back to school allows me to be flexible enough to pursue other things outside of work and serve other people

One thing that really helped me was just talking to experienced professionals and picking their brains on what the biggest challenges they regularly face, what skills and designations are most valued for what I want to do, etc.
Talk to someone who is already doing what you want to do, or in your case, reach out to someone in the academic profession, in a government position for your field, working overseas in your field (since those are the paths that you mentioned)...talk to your pastor, your college professors, the older, wiser people in your family...gather their opinions and experiences. You already know how to put in the effort and hard work to get through your degree. You nailed it when you mentioned serving God wherever you're placed...who knows, you might go through the entire phd program and maybe you'll find an opportunity to serve people better in an entirely different industry.
Going through the PHD program is just a small part of your life in the grand scheme of things...if it takes you a few extra years, then so be it...there's no rule anywhere that says you have to be married with 2 kids and have a fabulous career at 30, just make the best out of the cards you're dealt with, that's all anyone can ask.
I was kind of in the same spot 2-3 years ago when I was giving serious thought to pursuing a graduate degree. I wanted to go after my MBA and law degree (I must have been crazy, I have ZERO desire to practice law) and after a lot of consideration, I decided against it. I think the decision allows me to be a lot more flexible as far as pursuing other things outside of work and devoting my time to God, my family, to whatever weird new obsession or hobby I develop. Do whatever will best allow you to focus on the important stuff.

 

[Ritter]

Well Stuey, as you can see, you are not alone.

I won't delve into the situation I am currently facing. Suffice to say, it is similar.

Here are a few things to consider.

1. You're not considered old by general society...not yet anyway.

2. You have control over where you are headed and, thankfully, there are other things for you to do.

Don't want to spend 5-6 years attaining a PHD? Fine! Take undergrad classes in a field that is proven to be lucrative or one that at least has jobs. Find work, build up capital, and start a business of your own.

Find things to do in your field that do not require grad school. I know policy analysts, Hill staffers, and politicos who only did their undergrad. Heck! I know some that quit their undergrad or didn't go to college at all.

Do not think for a moment that those who are in political science would not be good candidates for a seminary! Become a missionary in a foreign land!

In short, you live in a world of limitless possibilities, and if you are a hard-working person of character, you will be wanted by some employer or school somewhere.

It may not be what you have been dreaming of, but the dreams that God turns into reality also happen to be not be what we've dreamed of either.

Four years ago I wanted to live and work in CO. For five months in 2012, I did just that. It was wonderful! I would go back in a heartbeat! And yet, it wasn't everything I thought it would be. I'd be just as content with life in VA or FL.

On the flipside, I thought a certain campaign setting I was in would be wonderful...it wasn't.

Suffice to say God has a plan, but he doesn't leave us without options. We just tend to narrow our gaze a little too much and that is when the depression sets in.

Hey! If it makes you feel any better someone very dear to me who was quite successful wrecked her career for half a decade just last week. Reversals of fortune are not uncommon for better or worse.

Think, pray, and please message me if you feel like it. I'd be happy to discuss this all further.

 

[Hellooo]

lol my copy and paste finger was going crazy. (thought I lost half my post from an auto-save)

you'll figure it out stuey. congrats on your degree btw.

 

[Stuey]

you'll figure it out stuey. congrats on your degree btw.

Thanks! Prob is it's an arts degree so to do what I want I need more! haha. - Also I finished it in 2010 so I've been at this one a while now...

Thanks Ritter, I agree - I could get a job in Government. When I finish my honours that would actually be the job I am most qualified for - working in the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade. (Btw I'm doing Modern History.) It was one of the options I was looking at for when I finished. I've had a think about it though and I'm not too sure it is what I want to do. It would be nice to get into advisory roles but I do wonder what good I can do and whether I would be better in a more public role. I think I could cope with full time work on a permanent basis but it would flatten me, ideally I would prefer to work 15-30 hours a week and spend a lot of time helping out with various ministries. Not always possible though I guess, things to think on & I do need to be wary of laziness. Laziness and arrogance ooze out of me...

I am presuming those are US States? Funny like that, we can get somewhere and love or hate it.

Hmmm, it is strange - I have always felt that I would be successful, I don't know why - but I am not really aiming for success in the traditional sense of the word... or maybe I am. I guess being a uni lecturer is success in a sense. I don't know.

Thanks Hello - I have talked to a few students doing masters or phd's, there is my student groups annual conference that actually has a little mini postgrad conference also running. From what they've said jobs are decent overseas.

Thx Jullianna! Great to know.

Thanks Arwen... Yeah, these decisions are hard. No decision about marriage without a partner though! (at least for me haha!)

Thankyou Keniseyes. May I ask, what did the teaching and ministry look like for you? I could definitely see myself doing something like this in the medium term to long term. What were you teaching in?



Thanks heaps guys, all of your responses have been really encouraging.

Hmm, maybe I should just do a masters and aim for tutoring. More looking for the teaching as opposed to the lecturing anyway to be honest. Dunno... haha.

 

[kenisyes]

Stuey, I taught math, and my ministry was/is in music organization. You may read kind of a vita at my website My name is Ken Behrens It is not a professional vita, more of a vita/biography, but I will supply any detailed specifics you would like. Dates/hours/# of churches, etc.