I need to lay some things out there that have been weighing on my heart. I could use some advice from any brothers out there. Sometimes I wonder why I keep trying. I don't know why I don't quit wanting a wife. I just wonder what the point is anymore in having that desire or in making a pursuit towards a godly woman. Sometimes I wonder if I'm wasting my time and energy trying to pursue and invest. I feel defeated. I feel like I'll have that desire unmet. This time, I did it the right way. I did things right. I asked serious theological questions and about values, I didn't become emotionally attached or flirtatious, I was patient, I was considerate, and I was selfless. I did it properly. I met a godly woman, she was serious, faithful, Christ-like, wise, knowledgeable of Scripture, compassionate, caring, and gracious. She had a heart for children, a desire to be a homemaker, and a servant to her husband. She honored modesty and biblical and traditional values. She was a spiritual woman. You can tell the fruits she bore were good. It didn't go the way I had hoped. She told me that a guy she was talking to, it looked like they were headed towards the direction of courtship. I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried, I've tried, and I've tried. It never seems to come my way. I feel behind. I feel like I won't be wanted. It seems unfair and cruel. I'm sick of being disappointed. I'm sick of being let down. I'm sick of hoping and not receiving. I'm sick of being hurt. I'm sick of not being considered, being passed by, and being overlooked. I'm sick of being rejected or not as desired or preferred. Why would God give me this desire and not fulfill it? What does He want from me? I don't even care about marital privileges. Those don't matter. I want someone who will share Christ with me, and I with her. I want someone who will inspire me spiritually, whose very presence encourages me to seek God’s face. I don't want these superficial, Sunday church-going, don't care about eternity, pay no mind to Scripture, immature, doesn't take the faith seriously, don't bear any good fruit, look and act just like the world (and possibly false professing) girls that are in my church and in many churches like ours. It becomes discouraging. Sometimes I wonder why I have this persistent desire if it won't be fulfilled. It can feel like torture. I saw potential. It’s just hard. So many let-downs. I ask myself why I continue to be motivated towards marriage; why I still have this desire burning in me, when it feels like it gets me burned.
Discouraged About The Desire of Marriage
- Thread starter StrivingtoChrist
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I need to lay some things out there that have been weighing on my heart. I could use some advice from any brothers out there. Sometimes I wonder why I keep trying. I don't know why I don't quit wanting a wife. I just wonder what the point is anymore in having that desire or in making a pursuit towards a godly woman. Sometimes I wonder if I'm wasting my time and energy trying to pursue and invest. I feel defeated. I feel like I'll have that desire unmet. This time, I did it the right way. I did things right. I asked serious theological questions and about values, I didn't become emotionally attached or flirtatious, I was patient, I was considerate, and I was selfless. I did it properly. I met a godly woman, she was serious, faithful, Christ-like, wise, knowledgeable of Scripture, compassionate, caring, and gracious. She had a heart for children, a desire to be a homemaker, and a servant to her husband. She honored modesty and biblical and traditional values. She was a spiritual woman. You can tell the fruits she bore were good. It didn't go the way I had hoped. She told me that a guy she was talking to, it looked like they were headed towards the direction of courtship. I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried, I've tried, and I've tried. It never seems to come my way. I feel behind. I feel like I won't be wanted. It seems unfair and cruel. I'm sick of being disappointed. I'm sick of being let down. I'm sick of hoping and not receiving. I'm sick of being hurt. I'm sick of not being considered, being passed by, and being overlooked. I'm sick of being rejected or not as desired or preferred. Why would God give me this desire and not fulfill it? What does He want from me? I don't even care about marital privileges. Those don't matter. I want someone who will share Christ with me, and I with her. I want someone who will inspire me spiritually, whose very presence encourages me to seek God’s face. I don't want these superficial, Sunday church-going, don't care about eternity, pay no mind to Scripture, immature, doesn't take the faith seriously, don't bear any good fruit, look and act just like the world (and possibly false professing) girls that are in my church and in many churches like ours. It becomes discouraging. Sometimes I wonder why I have this persistent desire if it won't be fulfilled. It can feel like torture. I saw potential. It’s just hard. So many let-downs. I ask myself why I continue to be motivated towards marriage; why I still have this desire burning in me, when it feels like it gets me burned.[/QUO
I'm so sorry , I can feel your frustration . I'm sorry I'm a girl and not a guy , I hope u dont mind me replying to u .
Firstly , U don't say how old u r , there really is no rushing God u know , He will give u the right girl at the right time . U MUST trust Him , He knows best !
I didn't meet my hubby until I was 33 . In the meantime , why not just look for some Christian friends of both genders ? Start out looking for some good company , if u meet a nice brother , he might have a sister or a cousin etc . Socialize more , with Christians of all ages and walks of life . Visit different churches in your area . All the time just thinking about widening your social circle and remember , God is in charge of u and your life , He wants u to have the right person and He knows when to introduce u to her . TRUST HIM and wait for Him to do u good.
I replied but u will have to ' click to expand
don't know why that sometimes happens .
I sew the sincerity in your words and frustration as well...
Waiting many times is not very easy, but giving up is really not a better option.
Why don't you keep trusting God, trust His person, and remember that His thoughts for us are good and not evil to give us a future and a hope.
Give it some time and maybe a little more time, while still praying about it and preparing for it.
If you don't have the strength on some days to pray about it, you can just sit with Him, He'll still understand.
All will be well eventually.
We'll hear the testimony of your marriage eventually.
God bless you
Waiting many times is not very easy, but giving up is really not a better option.
Why don't you keep trusting God, trust His person, and remember that His thoughts for us are good and not evil to give us a future and a hope.
Give it some time and maybe a little more time, while still praying about it and preparing for it.
If you don't have the strength on some days to pray about it, you can just sit with Him, He'll still understand.
All will be well eventually.
We'll hear the testimony of your marriage eventually.
God bless you