The joke is on you because your false gospel, which is the result of flawed hermeneutics, is not in harmony with salvation by grace, through faith, not works. (Ephesians 2:8,9)
The Ethiopian eunuch was water baptized "after" he believed and was saved. (Acts 8:36-38) Compare Acts 8:37 - "I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God" with John 20:31 - But these are written, that ye might
believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that
believing ye might have
life through his name. *What happened to baptism? *Hermeneutics.
Nobody is denying that new converts in the NT received water baptism. The problem is with you denying Spirit baptism for ALL believers (1 Corinthians 12:13) and replacing it with water baptism and also with you confusing receiving the gift of the Holy Spirit (Acts 10:45) with receiving spiritual gifts from the Holy Spirit. (Acts 10:46)
In Acts 22:16, the cleansing happens
as Paul called on the name of the Lord and not literally by water baptism. The water is symbolic; the appeal to the name of the Lord is the saving act.
Romans 10:13 - For whoever
calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.
The remission of sins has three applications:
1. Literally, by the blood of Christ -
Matthew 26:28
2. Experientially, by faith in Christ -
Acts 26:18
3. Figuratively, by water baptism - Acts
22:16.
Acts 22:16 -
WHAT IS TRUTH: Acts 22:16--Baptism Essential for Salvation?
A symbol (water baptism) is not the reality, but is a picture of the reality.
Peter went on the explain what he meant by that and you missed it --
not the removal of dirt from the flesh (that is, not as an outward, physical act which washes dirt from the body--that is not what saves you),
"but an appeal to God for a good conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ" (that is, as an inward, spiritual transaction between God and the individual, a transaction that is
symbolized by the outward ceremony of water baptism).
Just as the eight people in the ark were "saved THROUGH water" as they were IN THE ARK. They were not literally saved "by" the water. Hebrews 11:7 is clear on this point (..built an ARK for the SAVING of his household). *The context reveals that ONLY the righteous (Noah and his family) were DRY and therefore SAFE. In contrast, only the wicked in Noah's day came in contact with the water and they all perished.
So, by Peter saying, "not the removal of dirt from the flesh, but an appeal to God for a good conscience - through the resurrection of Jesus Christ," Peter guards against saving power to the baptism itself.
You need to wake up and believe the gospel! (Romans 1:16; 1 Corinthians 15:1-4)