Well...this topic got sidetracked a bit. Lots of comments to read through. Lots of different things being said. I wanted to comment on some of it.
There were quite a few people who attacked my claim to having genuine faith solely because I said the sinner's prayer as a child. As if somehow performing that one act invalidated anything that followed. Look, the sinner's prayer is a statement of faith. It's an outward sign of someone ready to surrender to Christ and begin a journey of faith dedicated in service to God. It is not some magical incantation that grants me salvation and now I can just go back to my normal life. I never believed it was. Billy Graham was a huge proponent of the sinner's prayer. Was his faith not genuine simply because he believed in that practice? Look, the true mark of a believer is not from saying some little prayer once long ago. I know this; I always have. Having a heart that is repentant, full of love for the Lord and for others, surrendering to Jesus. These are the marks of a believer. Someone who exhibits a living faith, not just a mental state of mind. And yes, it is not my doing, not without God's abundant grace and His calling on my life to serve him. My salvation was His glory, and His alone. This is what I believed.
Why am I here? Some people have asked that. No, I am not a troll. I am not here to cause trouble or play tricks or deconvert anybody. I honestly just came here to get a Christian's perspective on what you make of ex-Christians. Because your perspective is unique. For the nonChristian, a deconversion is simply someone who stopped believing in some religion. Like someone leaving Islam. But we know, those of us who are/were Christians, that this religion is a little different. It's not just a religion; it's a relationship. So when someone who professes to have been born again loses their faith and no longer believes, what does the Christian make of that?
I've received varied responses.
Many say that it's simply not possible. I think I've addressed that as much as I can. And it depends if you adhere to Calvinist teachings as to how much leeway you can have on this as a Christian. If you are a Calvinist, there is simply no room for someone like me in that theology. So you have no choice but to just dismiss me straightaway. Why even bother hearing me out when you know that there is no way any true believer could leave the faith? That's because as a Calvinist, you believe God chooses who to save and who not save, and we have no say in the matter. There is nothing the unsaved can do to change their situation; they are damned at birth. Likewise, salvation is a mandate to those chosen by God; it is not an invitation. The cold reality about this point of view, if true, is that when I was a young boy, and I told God that I loved Him, and asked Him to forgive me of sin and help me to be like Him...God said no, I want nothing to do with you. And as I lived my young Christian life, and I went to bed at night thanking God for the day and telling Him that I loved Him....God ignored it. He wanted nothing to do with me. Because apparently I'm not one of the elect. That kind of coldheartedness....it's a hard pill to swallow.
As for everyone else who does not adhere to Calvinism but still doesn't believe a true Christian could ever walk away. I just ask why couldn't they. If salvation is in fact an invitation. If God's calling is through the gospel message, reaching out to anyone who hears it with an invitation to come follow Him, and receive God's gift of salvation, given through grace, then does it not follow that one can freely exit what they had freely entered into? You may ask how I could possibly walk away from God after experiencing His presence in my life? Well, it wasn't easy. It was a very hard and difficult process. As I said previously, I struggled mightily to keep my faith, but could not in the end.
Finally, others said I must of had a weak faith...been an immature Christian perhaps. I was a diehard, all-in Christian for most of my Christian life. I prayed, I worshiped, I studied his word. Feed the spirit - I remember my youth pastor saying one day. Feed the fire inside you so you do not grow lukewarm. That is what I did. I had, under any reasonable measurement, an extremely strong faith. And yes, that strong faith was beaten and battered until it became weak. Weak enough to lose altogether. But it was not always weak. And I think that's important to clarify.
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