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MidniteWelder
Guest
When we all stop
Looking to get and start looking to give .. a lot of issues will be resolved
Yay Powemm!!!
That is one of the main messages were all called to understand isnt it
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Yay Powemm!!!
That is one of the main messages were all called to understand isnt it
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dashadow
Guest
You have to learn how to flip the script.
Early on in my marriage, there were times when my wife and I would have some very disagreeable conversations. Then shortly after the confrontation she would say with a smile, "Honey, what would you like for dinner?" My jaw would drop to the floor. I'm like, "Are you kidding me? You just got on my last nerve and now you act like nothing happened a few minutes ago?"
So later on, after a serious disagreement, a few minutes after I'd be like, "Hey honey, how would you like a massage?" I think the first time she shot me a glare. But things got much better after that. Now that I've perfected that, I have to work on my crying act. That's going to be a tough one.
Early on in my marriage, there were times when my wife and I would have some very disagreeable conversations. Then shortly after the confrontation she would say with a smile, "Honey, what would you like for dinner?" My jaw would drop to the floor. I'm like, "Are you kidding me? You just got on my last nerve and now you act like nothing happened a few minutes ago?"
So later on, after a serious disagreement, a few minutes after I'd be like, "Hey honey, how would you like a massage?" I think the first time she shot me a glare. But things got much better after that. Now that I've perfected that, I have to work on my crying act. That's going to be a tough one.
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Donkeyfish07
Guest
I didn't think about that. I was going to type that guys that aren't like that are all around....but I had to think about it....can't think of any that aren't already married and divorced at least once or twice over
. I guess it's worse for you ladies than I initially thought it was. I always wondered how there could be so many sweet beautiful women around that hadn't been snatched up yet.
I think in this generation there is a lot more male bashing, but on the other hand my Pastor works with a lot of men at his work and in churchs and he sees the wives doing a lot to try and maintain the marriage and men taking them and their children for granted, and he sees alot of single women because of the father's leaving the family. He wonders what do men want these days? So, he does preach to men quite a bit and even though through the years he has preached and lived these thing to help men to understand how to be better husbands, yet, there is more divorce because men aren't taking the counsel. I do want to emphasize that my Pastor does not beat down the men, but does help them to understand the ladies row in the marriage and he does speak of communication in the marriage. He is well rounded in the approach he takes.
I guess I have a hard time understanding too what men want these days. I heard about a minister that spoke at a mens convention he told the single men, if they are not married, get married. I heard different ministers preach on this, and my heart wonders the same thing, "Why are men scared of commitment? and why are they no longer wanting to be the sacrificer and protector for the weaker sex or want to help help his wife to rear children for the Lord or help a single mom raise her children for the Lord? Please don't think I'm talking about men in this group because I don't know anyone in here very well, and don't know everyones circumstances. I'm just putting my imput in from a ladies point of view of what I'm seeing in this generation. I yearn for men to araise and take their place in God. Marriage is God's instituted plan. He says a man who fines a wife finds a good thing. Hummm.... wonder why you don't find a scripture that says, A woman who finds a husband fines a good thing. Maybe even God knows men don't know a good thing even when it's right in front of their faces, lol. Marriage is sacrifical, it is work, but well worth the return, a godly marriage, a godly home, godly children, all to reach a godless generation. What more could you ask for in this life?
I guess I have a hard time understanding too what men want these days. I heard about a minister that spoke at a mens convention he told the single men, if they are not married, get married. I heard different ministers preach on this, and my heart wonders the same thing, "Why are men scared of commitment? and why are they no longer wanting to be the sacrificer and protector for the weaker sex or want to help help his wife to rear children for the Lord or help a single mom raise her children for the Lord? Please don't think I'm talking about men in this group because I don't know anyone in here very well, and don't know everyones circumstances. I'm just putting my imput in from a ladies point of view of what I'm seeing in this generation. I yearn for men to araise and take their place in God. Marriage is God's instituted plan. He says a man who fines a wife finds a good thing. Hummm.... wonder why you don't find a scripture that says, A woman who finds a husband fines a good thing. Maybe even God knows men don't know a good thing even when it's right in front of their faces, lol. Marriage is sacrifical, it is work, but well worth the return, a godly marriage, a godly home, godly children, all to reach a godless generation. What more could you ask for in this life?
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arwen83
Guest
When you really think about it- what benefit is there for a male to marry and have kids for him? Yes to have an heir, but this isn't the medieval ages here- no one is competing for a throne lol. What benefit does a man have in being committed to his family and wife? What benefit does he have to be engaged in their lives?
Call me pessimisstic but I wonder if this is the beginning of the fall of men as husbands and good fathers. A woman is able to be a single mother, with the monetary support of the ex-husband, but I think some father's see giving money as their duty and nothing more. It seems like they have the freedom to be irresponsible instead of a good father. (Again, I know not all fathers are like this, I know Zaoman and another fellow on here that are fathers are very much engaged in their children's lives).
Call me pessimisstic but I wonder if this is the beginning of the fall of men as husbands and good fathers. A woman is able to be a single mother, with the monetary support of the ex-husband, but I think some father's see giving money as their duty and nothing more. It seems like they have the freedom to be irresponsible instead of a good father. (Again, I know not all fathers are like this, I know Zaoman and another fellow on here that are fathers are very much engaged in their children's lives).
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arwen83
Guest
Ugh, I just depressed myself. I really hope if I were to get married that the man would be committed, and value family enough to be engaged in children's lives I don't want to be a single mom, I don't want to be divorced. I want a man that will step up and be a role model for his children
I don't want to be a single mom, I don't want to be divorced. I want a man that will step up and be a role model for his children
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dashadow
Guest
Ugh, I just depressed myself. I really hope if I were to get married that the man would be committed, and value family enough to be engaged in children's lives
It's sad that it's so hard for women to feel comfortable they will find a good husband. I told my wife I was so concerned I felt the need to go old testament and add a few more wives to the stable, but she wasn't having it.
I'll keep all you single ladies posted if she should change her mind.
Ugh, I just depressed myself. I really hope if I were to get married that the man would be committed, and value family enough to be engaged in children's lives
As you know, there aren't any guarantees in life. The most we can do is trust in God, His goodness and His will.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
(Jeremiah 29:11)
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Donkeyfish07
Guest
I can't really tell you what every single guy thinks but this is a pretty average type of thinking for guys my age - Commitment (at least as far as marriage goes) is basically looked at as all negative - no positive. I think most guys have had several bad experiences in general and if never married, probably know several people with bad experiences. Wife cheated on him, will use the kids against him as an emotional weapon, bad court system for men when you try to get custody/visitation, you may get stuck with alimony payments. Lose your house, lose your car, get your heart completely broken, lose your sanity and have to deal with it for God only knows how long, etc....the list goes on.
Most of those issues can be completely sidestepped by refusing to Marry at all. Just dating and not having kids at all is the smarter choice in the mind of an average 20 something male. This type of thinking is more common with non-believers....I think most single Christian men love the idea of getting married and having children though, anytime I talk to a single Christian guy my age he can't wait to find a wife
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arwen83
Guest
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Donkeyfish07
Guest
Ha ha, I don't wanna rat anybody out but there's a few lurking on CC. I'm obviously not one of them but they're around
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zaoman32
Guest
I think you nailed a lot that I missed, or didn't clarify. No the happy wife happy life thing is not inherently bad, but yes it is abused, and things of such are used in a joking matter in those regards, and it's irritating. And yes, guys are guilty of being lazy, and sitting around playing video games, and becoming too passive, but by society reinforcing those behaviors as being normal, or funny, it does not help the situation by any means.
There are definitely some pieces of truth to things like guys needing to admit their wrong and that kind of thing, but I think they're overly abused, and at this point causing more harm than good. Rather than teach absolutes, we should be teaching even doses of apologies, and standing ground. One saying I have heard that I do agree with, "pick your battles". I think we'd do good to teach our sons which battles are worth fighting, and which are worth swallowing ego over.
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Tintin
Guest
Well, society does send the message that men are expendable and there are few good male-role models in many people's lives, so it's little wonder that they don't know what to do, how to lead etc.
Why do video games always get the bum rap? They're good fun in moderation.
Why do video games always get the bum rap? They're good fun in moderation.
personally I think the problem is that society accepts pre-marital sex as normal and acceptable. not that I think men get married only for sex but society basically tells them they can have all of it without marriage and be free to walk away whenever they fancy.
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Donkeyfish07
Guest
I agree with that totally. Even when I was going to middle school (it's been over a decade....wow I'm getting old
), I can't think of anybody in my grade that even talked about saving themselves for marriage......Pre-Marital was pretty much encouraged (not by the teachers obviously, but everyone in the school accepted it as normal and desirable). That's only 6th, 7th grade. I can only imagine what the schools are like now. It gets worse every year.
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Donkeyfish07
Guest
There ya are TinTin, I hear all kinds of rumors about Australia. I heard the women there aren't allowed to own property and are pretty much treated like second class citizens (I'm pretty sure you have a female prime minister don't you? If so that obviously can't be true). I also heard that you won't go to jail for wife beating. I'm not trying to say anything disrespectful about your country, i just want to know if theres any truth to that at all. You know how rumors are
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Tintin
Guest
Haha! Who tells you this stuff, Donkey? Women are allowed to own property in Australia. They're also treated equally to men in most respects, less in some and more respected in others (very similar to how it would be in much of the US). Yes, we currently have a female prime minister. No, you'll definitely be put in jail for beating up women. You could do a lot less than that to a woman and be put in jail. So no, our animals will kill you, but as a country we do (generally) respect our women.
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Donkeyfish07
Guest
lol, that's good to hear. I've heard stuff like that from several military guys. I thought it had to be rubbish the first time I heard it but when I heard it from two or three people I thought it might be possible. Sailors allllllways got some kinda story to tell ya
