Do I need to "break up" with my friends?

[Smudge]

I'm really close to loosing my temper, and this is actually a rarity.

So three different "friends."

About a year ago, one of my friends got into an abusive relationship. He was hitting her, making her feel like nothing, and kicked her out of his house multiple times just for her to come crawling back to him. Her sister and I did everything we could to convince her to just let him go, but she wouldn't listen. There were several nights that I had to provide a roof over her head because she had no where else to go. Both she and her sister have been my very best friends for almost a decade.

Well her sister and I haven't really spoken for about half a year, I'm pretty much done with her after she got mad at me for now allowing her to go skinny dipping with her boyfriend in my neighborhood. (For me, that's like asking to have sex in my bed. It's just wrong. Besides, I'm not the only person who lives on this road.) But my friend who was abused, I've always worked hard to try and, well I guess the best word is "save." She finally broke up with her boyfriend and she and I were getting back to how we used to be. Everything was looking up.

Now she's got a new boyfriend(I don't think it's even been a month since the last guy) who is apparently the nicest guy ever(I haven't met him so I'll hold judgement until after then). He IS the first Christian she has ever dated. I thought, ok... I'll walk through this desicion with her, I didn't want to loose her again. Understanding that friends disappear when they get a new special someone, I've kept my distance, making plans with her in advance. Well last Thursday we were supposed to watch a movie and hang out but she never showed up. I called her three times that day and she never answered. It's now Sunday and she hasn't called me back, I'm still trying to catch her but she won't pick up her phone.

It's really heartbreaking and frustrating that she can't act her age and call me. Some really huge things have been happening in my life, I may have met my first boyfriend, but I'm only going to see him once more then probably never again. (I'm also graduating with an associates degree in the next week.) The thing is, I'm not head over heels for him,(Which is good, I think) but I do like him and it's obvious that he likes me. He's so cute(not just in the looks department, in his demeanor) ((((Holy guacamole, Batman--- it's tomorrow.... I'll see him one maybe last time tomorrow during my final exam. Why did I just assume I wouldn't meet anyone?))))

I don't need to be the spotlight, I don't mind my friends being in the spotlight 24/7, but when something happens in my life, like other human beings I like to talk about it.

There is another friend, whom I'm going to have to run into here in the next month. We were roommates in college, super close, but when I ran out of money and had to transfer to a cheap community college, she completely abandoned me. Which would be just fine, but she blames me everytime I talk to her for us never spending time with each other. We're both full time students, my time is just as valuable as her time is. The only difference is that she can afford the gas and I can't. Maybe when I get a job I'll have the money. Until then, the ball is in her court.

((To put salt on the wound, she came to my home town to do some shopping, didn't even think to invite me or tell me that she was nearby. On a day that I was feeling absolutely miserable because I was home alone with no one to talk to. I only know because my father ran into her. When I called her, she was begging me to come and visit her got upset because I literally couldn't. It's about 45 minutes between us.))

I'm just tired of these people coming to me, needing me, and when they don't need me- they're gone. Do I need to reevaluate my relationships and cut myself off from these people- or just be patient and wait for them to grow up and realize the world doesn't revolve around them? Because right now, I feel so done with these people.

Also struggling with this desire I have to have people who care about me. Every time I long for human companionship, I get faced with this question, Shouldn't God be enough? God should be all the companionship you need, you're just not loving him enough. If you loved him enough you wouldn't be depressed. Worst feeling in the world when you belittle your own love for God.... bleh.


I do have a friend who lives in California, and she's been the best friend of all. We call each other every weekend, sometimes in between. She's been really helping me deal with these people... in fact I'm about to go call her. I guess what I ultimately need is some sense, if you guys could offer it. I'm too close to the fire and everything is all emotions and hurt feelings.

 

[Grace52]

I thnk everyone has friends like that. I have a "friend" who calls me only when she needs a ride somewhere. And if there is any visiting between us it is me who has to go to her house. last week she told me i need to do everything possible to keep my job (i drive a truck an my boss insist i drive over hours over on my logs....in other words illegal) If i iam caught doing any of that, i could lose my license (a,b,c,&d) if get in an accident while committing one of these offensives i could end up in jail, and if I accidentally kill someone in the accident its a no brainer prison for life sentence. I like everyone else need the job....but just how far i should i go....lieing is lieing.....i sure havent been "The Lords Delight" since i started working for this company.

Yea, WE need to find new friends!!!

 

[djness]

Well.. at a different age of my life, closer to yours I would have given them chance after chance. Now I'm old and curmudgeonly and I would say toss the refuse and keep the gold. Don't waste time on relationships that are going to hurt you, give them a little bit , assess the amount that they put in and if it ain't worth it then ditch it.

It may seem to people around you that you have gone cold but the people who are willing to actually be your friends will recognize the treasure you are. Like the girl from california.


I have three guy friends my age that I still hang out with , most of them are married and have kids but we still manage, two of them i have known for about 15 years, one of them since 6th grade and im 34 now. Several friends I have had in the past never were that great with communicating and now never do.

Better to have one good friend then several who make you miserable.

 

[Indubitably]

True friends are few and get fewer as the years go by. If you feel these "friends" are keeping you from being victorious in your Christian life, then, by all means, consider drawing back on those relationships. I am praying for you.

 

[Ugly]

I am the type that i am a loyal friend. But no matter how loyal i am, i don't take much junk from my friends either. If my friends start mistreating me, or using me, or whatever, i have a low tolerance for that. I try to be a good friend, and all i expect in return is the same as i give. If a person won't do that much, then i won't bother with them. I see no problem moving on and finding better people in your life.
Also, as far as God being enough, ultimately, this is true. But God recognizes that we are social beings. He even encourages us to have people in our lives. He admonishes us to go to church, not only for teaching, but for fellowship. He wants us to confess our sins on to another, not such as to a priest, for forgiveness, but to share our burdens with each other, and offer support and encouragement. God speaks through His people, and uses His people and while we need to remember that ultimately our trust is in God, and not others, letting God use our friends to support us is not a bad thing.