Do You Find Being Around People Exhausting? How Do You Cope?

[Lanolin]

Hudson Taylor

English but dressed as Chinese to win them for Christ (not sure if he was that successful, but at least he tried to reach out)

Mother Teresa

Austrian born, changed her name, wore a sari

Moses

Spoke and walked like an Egyptian

Esther

Pretended to be Persian, had a beauty makeover

Jesus

God becoming human, walking among us...

 

[timothy85]

People definitely consider me an extrovert due to my ability to engage in conversation with just about anyone (my career path has practically forced me to develop this skill), however I do understand the need for quiet time to recharge our batteries, think about where we are in life and where the Lord may be leading us. In my situation I have spent the majority of time outside of work on my own for quite a while and currently even at work since I am on a third shift schedule since last year so personally I have a desire to socialize a lot more than I do now.

* Do you find being around people exhausting? Why or why not? (Extroverts -- those who draw their energy from being around people -- utterly fascinate me and I often wonder what it's like to be one. If we have an extroverts here, I would love to hear your perspective!)

In general I do very much light up when I am able to have a great conversation about a wide range of topics with others and I have had a lot of learning experiences just listening to others and asking questions about what they think and how they came to their opinions. I have observed that with the ready access to media of all kinds a lot of people tend to form their own spaces and do not spend near as much time in contact with others as when I was younger and the internet was not so mainstream. My teenage years were in the late 1990's and early 2000's and it seemed back then people in general tended to make more connections with others outside of their own box (I am fully aware I am making this statement over the internet in an attempt to socialize!). As someone who is most likely in the category of an extrovert this is a cultural thing that does leave me a bit wanting for more connections with other people, even when I am not exploring the interests I enjoy on a personal level.

* Are there only certain people that exhaust you, but not others? Or are there certain people you find energizing rather than exhausting? Give us some examples.

I only find being around people exhausting when I am around those whose whole existence thrives on themselves. Having long conversations with others who do not enjoy a back and forth and sharing of ideas is one of the fastest ways for me to want to hit the eject button and remove myself from that situation

* Does it depend on the situation? (Work vs. social; school vs. church, birthday party or holiday vs. chill get-together, etc.)

I am in the hospitality industry and have worked at some hotels which have had a lot of guest traffic and in most cases I am someone who does thrive on the interactions with people. I have a personality that is suited for these situations and some of my best moments at work have been random conversations with both guests and coworkers. When it comes to social situations, once I have built up a familiarity with someone or a group just hanging out is one of my favorite pass times. I have been attending my church since the end of 2024 and have been fortunate to develop some genuine connections with the congregation and am one of the first people to walk up and greet those I know with a smile and catch up, a highlight of my week! I have a couple of them text me on a regular basis just to check up on me and share Bible verses which I have come to expect pop up in my phone notifications almost daily.

* What things do you have to do in between times of being around people to "reset yourself" again?

I find cultivating hobbies that stimulate my mind and let me just zone out for a bit is the surest way for me to "reset myself" and be prepared for engaging with the world again when the time comes. I think having hobbies is a great way to stay centered and not rely too much on social interactions as your primary source of fulfillment.

* Do you ever feel God tells you that you're TOO introverted -- and you need to start stepping out more to serve in the way He's calling you?

God is definitely not telling me that I am TOO introverted that is for sure. However I have felt a calling to put myself in more situations where I am interacting with others which is one of the reasons I decided to join this site. Having a chance to get to know more people who are followers of Christ has been coming to my mind often lately. All believers in the Body of Christ are unique and add value to the fellowship and I would thoroughly enjoy expanding my circle of contacts who do their best to live out what we have been called to do. even in the simplest of ways.

 

[Lanolin]

What I find exhausting or tiring, is when people just return to the same topics of conversation over and over again, whenever you see them they want to complain about the same thing as when you last saw them, and they end up repeating themselves and you repeat yourself when responding to their repetition and it goes on and on like that.

?! Find something new to talk about? How many times do I need to hear you say....and then I kind of tune out and in my head all their words end up being blah blah blah lol

 

[Lanolin]

If they going to do that, at least put their words to music, cos if you make a recording of it, maybe they could make money selling it?? Then it can repeat for the rest of their life and earn them royalties or something.

 

[passion84god]

* Do you find being around people exhausting? Why or why not? (Extroverts -- those who draw their energy from being around people -- utterly fascinate me and I often wonder what it's like to be one. If we have an extroverts here, I would love to hear your perspective!)

It depends on the situation. Working in sales, I interact with a lot of people every day, but not really. In other words, there's no real camaraderie between us in that it is strictly business related. Those types of interactions are inevitably exhausting. To the point where I feel as if I am just wasting my life away. On the rare occasions when I have genuine fellowship with others, I do find that to be meaningful and exhilarating.​

* What things do you have to do in between times of being around people to "reset yourself" again?

Try to catch up on some lost sleep from working way too many hours each week. Whether I am successful or not, I definitely need to spend quality time alone with God. When I feel as if God is not leading me but I am just going through the motions on my own, then those same feelings of wasting my life away surface.

To be totally honest, my avatar pretty much says it all. I usually feel all alone in a dark world. My only hope and solace is in looking upward for a breakthrough with God as I await the second coming of Christ. I hope that I will be prepared for it. I might need to change careers very soon because my job is definitely consuming way too much of my brief time here on earth.​

 

[Lanolin]

It depends on the situation. Working in sales, I interact with a lot of people every day, but not really. In other words, there's no real camaraderie between us in that it is strictly business related. Those types of interactions are inevitably exhausting. To the point where I feel as if I am just wasting my life away. On the rare occasions when I have genuine fellowship with others, I do find that to be meaningful and exhilarating.

Try to catch up on some lost sleep from working way too many hours each week. Whether I am successful or not, I definitely need to spend quality time alone with God. When I feel as if God is not leading me but I am just going through the motions on my own, then those same feelings of wasting my life away surface.

To be totally honest, my avatar pretty much says it all. I usually feel all alone in a dark world. My only hope and solace is in looking upward for a breakthrough with God as I await the second coming of Christ. I hope that I will be prepared for it. I might need to change careers very soon because my job is definitely consuming way too much of my brief time here on earth.​

Your job doesn't sound the best (who wants to lie for a living? as thats what sales ends up being)

I think def think about a career change and think of something to do with your passion. Maybe something to do with clouds, or aviation? Or looking after rescue birds. I can think of plenty for you even though I can't think of what to do for my own self in terms of career anymore.

 

[passion84god]

Your job doesn't sound the best (who wants to lie for a living? as thats what sales ends up being)

I don't lie to my customers, but a lot of other sales reps in my company do. In fact, upper management recently had us all sign a compliance form because of so many customer complaints. It was basically a form in which we all agreed to not deceive customers, but many reps still do while laughing and bragging about it. That is definitely not my personality.​

I think def think about a career change and think of something to do with your passion.

I spent a little time online searching for another job this morning. I also texted one of my managers, and I asked her if we could talk. There are ways that my job could be better, but my other male manager lives in la la land. This woman just became my other manager recently, and she is much easier to talk to. She just texted me back as I was typing. She is going to call me in about 90 minutes or so. Hopefully, that conversation will be productive. My only real passion is for God and people, and I honestly don't think that my career is even remotely fulfilling that passion. Let's see what happens after I talk with her.​

 

[Lanolin]

I don't lie to my customers, but a lot of other sales reps in my company do. In fact, upper management recently had us all sign a compliance form because of so many customer complaints. It was basically a form in which we all agreed to not deceive customers, but many reps still do while laughing and bragging about it. That is definitely not my personality.


I spent a little time online searching for another job this morning. I also texted one of my managers, and I asked her if we could talk. There are ways that my job could be better, but my other male manager lives in la la land. This woman just became my other manager recently, and she is much easier to talk to. She just texted me back as I was typing. She is going to call me in about 90 minutes or so. Hopefully, that conversation will be productive. My only real passion is for God and people, and I honestly don't think that my career is even remotely fulfilling that passion. Let's see what happens after I talk with her.​

Y'ok well keep us posted.

If lots of your colleagues are lying to keep their jobs do you want to be asocciated with them if thats the norm. Anyway, anytime my managers wanted 'a chat' with me I knew it was never anything good, just 'we want you to do what we tell you to do' kind of thing. Don't get any ideas!

 

[Lanolin]

I learned that 'making friends and influence people' was just another sales tactic. and if you do that you can be guaranteed to be the best con artist you can be.

So yea nah.

 

[passion84god]

If lots of your colleagues are lying to keep their jobs do you want to be asocciated with them if thats the norm.

No, I don't want to be associated with people like that, unless I am setting a positive example that might lead to change. I almost always work by myself. The only times that I am with another employee is if I am involved in some sort of training or if there happens to be one of them working at the same venue as me with another product. I had that experience this past week, but we were set up on opposite sides of the same store. I did get a call from one of my past trainers at 12:30 a.m. He was drunk out of his mind. I don't know why he called me, but he definitely ruined my night's sleep. His trainer has been arrested at least six different times. I know because he showed me six different mugshots of his trainer online, and one time he was arrested for fraud. What have I gotten myself into?​

Anyway, anytime my managers wanted 'a chat' with me I knew it was never anything good, just 'we want you to do what we tell you to do' kind of thing. Don't get any ideas!

That perfectly describes my male manager. My female manager seems to be a lot more human and approachable. If you wouldn't mind, then please say a prayer for me that God shows me what to do. Something definitely needs to change, and soon.​

 

[passion84god]

Y'ok well keep us posted.

I just got off the phone with my female manager. She is going to talk with my male manager to see if there is any sort of solution to my problem. She did suggest that I could move to another state or location, but that is not feasible at the moment. I am sorry for spilling my guts here. It's just that the last 5 weeks have been very trying. Counting my daily commutes, I have put in five 14 hour days each week with not much to show for it. Going forward, I will just cast my burdens on God. Thank you for listening.​

 

[Lanolin]

I just got off the phone with my female manager. She is going to talk with my male manager to see if there is any sort of solution to my problem. She did suggest that I could move to another state or location, but that is not feasible at the moment. I am sorry for spilling my guts here. It's just that the last 5 weeks have been very trying. Counting my daily commutes, I have put in five 14 hour days each week with not much to show for it. Going forward, I will just cast my burdens on God. Thank you for listening.​

s'ok sometimes problems can be overwhelming but we hear ya.

All those peeps lucky to be WFH. (working from home) though it has it's own challenges.

One day you'll be able to contribute to my 'Better Work Stories' thread. I'll make one up so we can have lights at the end of our tunnel.
Sometimes you are in a place where...you have to stay in your lane. You need to stay in constant speed. The tunnel seems like goes on forever, and its dark, but you may have lights to guide your way. You can only keep going and can't stop until it ends. You get bored about half way through and wonder is this really how it's going to be? Other people are flying around, doing stuff, while I'm just stuck in this tunnel. Some of us just learn to put on the music and enjoy the ride, it may be boring, and you are going through the motions (of the tunnel!) but we know it's not going to last forever. It has to lead us somewhere right?
Cos who heard of a tunnel to nowhere? That's not a tunnel, that's like more like a burrow or a mine, in which case, you might need a different strategy.