Do you let the uncertainty affect your life?

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Chrissy77

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I do NOT believe in divorce for ANY reason, yet here I am at 35 a divorced woman. It is hard to fathom.
I didn't think it could ever happen to me, but it did. There are some things you don't have control over.
You can't make a person stay in love with you. You can't make a person stay married to you. In this day and age you can even get divorced quite easily with only one signature. That being said, how do you not let the uncertainty of life affect you making a life for yourself? How do I know a man will not go out and start drinking again in the midst of stress who has been saved from alcohol? How do I know a man who enjoys porn and was saved from their addiction will not revert to looking at it sometime while we are married? How do I know a man will love me ALWAYS?? Does that word even exist anymore? How can I even insure I don't fail HIM?

I don't even know what is my real question.

Humbled in NY
 
There are no certaintys in life, which is why trusting God is so important. He's the one and only who will never fail you.
 
I find that in this day and time everything is chaotic, it seems to be the norm. I take each day one day at a time with very little expectation of mankind. These are very tough roads we travel today. I see many people unraveling mentally. I let Jesus lead me through these storms. I just try to hold on tight.
 
Nod beat me to it. I was going to say that there are no guarantees in life, especially when it comes to other people's behaviors and choices. This is why even God makes provisions for divorce in the bible. God knows that some marriages will fail no matter what. I think the secret is to not let a failed relationship make us so jaded that we simply don't believe that we'll ever meet a good, faithful man or woman. Instead, in hindsight we should look back and note what the warning signs/red flags were that we missed. There are always warning signs. By knowing them we will be better prepared to avoid making the same mistakes in the future. Life is a journey of lessons. One of the most important tenets of our faith is HOPE. Without hope, our desires are dead. God gives us hope and promises that whatever we ask of Him as long as it is according to His will, shall be received by us (see scripture below). So don't give up hope, Chrissy.


(1 John 5:14-15 KJV)
And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:
And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.

(Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

(1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV)
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
 
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We can worry about the future, but there isn't always things we can do to change it.

If we can't do anything to change it, we might as well accept it and not focus our thoughts on it. Not that I'm always good at this.

People will always let you down... simple fact of us all being sinful. :( Hope in God as others have already said.
 
Everyone has basically said exactly what I have been saying to myself. As it has been pointed out to me before, it is better to love and lost than to have never loved at all. Life isn't about guarantees. I just have to live my life for Christ and let God take care of the rest. There are definitely times it is hard to not try to take the reins. I appreciate all your thoughts.
 
Im right there with you Chrissy!! Im 27 and was with my ex husband since I was 15. We did it all right....we waited 6 years till our wedding night to make love for the first time....put God first in our relationship and tried to do right in everything we did. My ex husband started working at a prison and within 2 years of him working there, he cheated and left me and never came back within 3 months. We are divorced now, we dont have any kids (miscarried 3 babies) and now I can see why God didnt allow us to have kids. Im sitting here starting over wondering if there is a man out there for me. Im in love with my ex boyfriend who I had a deep connection with that still remains that way today, but I know in my heart hes not the one and it tears me up. I do ask God and question why hes not....and the guy loves me too....but i know that God knows the future and knows EVERYTHING that I dont....it is hard and I understand where you are coming from. We were both against divorce and everything too.....but that changed. I fought for my marriage and did everything I could, but in the end, he wanted it and I couldnt change it. I dont regret anything, i can live with peace, but still....I see both my exs with someone and Im alone and I was trying to do it all right!! :(
 
RachelP03 said:
Im right there with you Chrissy!! Im 27 and was with my ex husband since I was 15. We did it all right....we waited 6 years till our wedding night to make love for the first time....put God first in our relationship and tried to do right in everything we did. My ex husband started working at a prison and within 2 years of him working there, he cheated and left me and never came back within 3 months. We are divorced now, we dont have any kids (miscarried 3 babies) and now I can see why God didnt allow us to have kids. Im sitting here starting over wondering if there is a man out there for me. Im in love with my ex boyfriend who I had a deep connection with that still remains that way today, but I know in my heart hes not the one and it tears me up. I do ask God and question why hes not....and the guy loves me too....but i know that God knows the future and knows EVERYTHING that I dont....it is hard and I understand where you are coming from. We were both against divorce and everything too.....but that changed. I fought for my marriage and did everything I could, but in the end, he wanted it and I couldnt change it. I dont regret anything, i can live with peace, but still....I see both my exs with someone and Im alone and I was trying to do it all right!! :(
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I am so sorry, Rachel! All I can say is that you will be blessed for following God's leadership and not going into a relationship you know God has no desire for you to get into. I won't go into details about my marriage but I will say we both failed each other and God miserable throughout our marriage. For me that is harder than anything. Knowing I can't go back and fix things and make different choices in our marriage. I can't say it wouldn't have still ended, but I can say I fought for it as it deserved. For me there was a point I gave up on it and him. I wish I could have been the "perfect" wife and been on my knees in prayer for my marriage every day. I failed my ex and I failed God, so for me it is how do I know I won't fail someone else. You know it is crazy but I fought harder for our marriage after we separated than I ever fought while we were together. I can finally understand why people say it is better sometimes to wait to marry until you are older. We were only 19 and it was difficult for him with all the changes of being a husband and then a year later being a dad. We did things the right way also. We waited until marriage to consummate our relationship. How did a relationship that started with God in the center end up with him out of the mix?
 
those kind of thoughts will drive you insane. I PROMISE. i'm JUST starting to get out of that period. There are something you really can't control. you can only make your own choices and be aware so that you can hope to avoid other peoples mistakes. or help them through it. but worrying about things that aren't even here yet. let tomorrow worry about itself. ^-^. If you're a child of God then nothing against you will prosper so don't worry about a thing. (except you know paying bills and stuff. >_<)
 
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