Does it matter anymore?

[Austar]

I guess there is no stock standard answer who should make the first move..man or woman..Seems like it is a cultural issue with what is the "trend" of the time...

 

[Ugly]

I think its largely cultural that men need to always be the first. I don't think there is any biblical or spiritual mandate stating either way. Really it doesn't matter from a male perspective. You're just going to continue asking women out. If a woman doesn't believe she should make the move, she won't. If she does, she will. Regardless of your opinion on the matter.

 

[seventhunder]

All through the Bible, it is men that goes seeking for a wife, and not the other way. But a woman should stop playing hard to get, if she is interested in pursuing a relationship, putting God first.

 

[Jullianna]

Well reading some of these responses, it seems like the old cliche of "you will know when you meet the right one" could have some credibility to it...

when it's right it all clicks...when it doesn't the spark just won't light....from experience, you can't force someone to respond...

Absolutely. Forced is no good. It's there or it's not.

 

[Jullianna]

All through the Bible, it is men that goes seeking for a wife, and not the other way. But a woman should stop playing hard to get, if she is interested in pursuing a relationship, putting God first.

In Ruth Chapter 3, it is the woman seeking, but most of us could never be that bold.

 

[NukePooch]

In Ruth Chapter 3, it is the woman seeking, but most of us could never be that bold.

If I wake up and find a woman curled up by my feet, I'm grabbin' the shotgun.

 

[thimsrebma]

If we look at the scriptures, we can see where men chose a wife, were married out of a family obligation/other arranged marriages, and even bold moves like Ruth's (at the suggestion of another - Ruth Chapter 3), but I'm not sure how I feel about sleeping on some guy's stinky feet.

I did invite a guy to a Christmas party at my church once and have asked a couple over for dinner, but that's about as bold as I get. It's important to me that the man take the leadership role in a relationship initially, as many times it sets the tone for the relationship as a whole. But, I do realize that some guys are shy or unsure of themselves, so it's helpful to confirm your interest in them in a ladylike way.

Thank you so much for this. He totally does set the tone for the relationship.

If you can't open your mouth and communicate your interest in me, how could I possibly look at you as the potential leader of my household?

 

[Austar]

Absolutely. Forced is no good. It's there or it's not.

In agreeance, totally!

 

[David_1]

Chicks dig confidence.

/thread

 

[Austar]

Chicks dig confidence.

/thread

Dig??

what a hoot!!

 

[Jullianna]

Thank you so much for this. He totally does set the tone for the relationship.

If you can't open your mouth and communicate your interest in me, how could I possibly look at you as the potential leader of my household?

Amen, Sister

 

[Jullianna]

If I wake up and find a woman curled up by my feet, I'm grabbin' the shotgun.

hahahahahaha

 

[Jullianna]

Chicks dig confidence.

/thread

Absolutely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[FireWire]

guys are such wimps , if u dont make the first move then you will stay single

If that's what you think about guys, you'll be single for a long time yet.

 

[Austar]

If that's what you think about guys, you'll be single for a long time yet.

I think Lexy is a teenager : )

Hopefully GenY aren't too shy to make the first move.

I can understand guys who have had awful experiences approaching women who have bad attitudes toward men - that would be a turn off ...if I kept getting told off or belittled numerous times, I would probably have second thoughts in being the first to make a move.

 

[FireWire]

Oh I can fully relate to that. Far too many bad interactions and the criticism and condemnations still flow. I had a relationship (which I didn't initiate) and just got screwed over so it doesn't get any better. What I don't understand is that other women wonder why I'm not married and are currently trying to get me into that state (even my own boss). I've never actually asked a woman out on date. There's far too many aggressive women around I think. Not something that is particularly attractive.

 

[Austar]

Oh I can fully relate to that. Far too many bad interactions and the criticism and condemnations still flow. I had a relationship (which I didn't initiate) and just got screwed over so it doesn't get any better. What I don't understand is that other women wonder why I'm not married and are currently trying to get me into that state (even my own boss). I've never actually asked a woman out on date. There's far too many aggressive women around I think. Not something that is particularly attractive.

LOL!!! Now you know things are bad when your boss feels sorry for you!! That's so funny!!

Sorry you experienced the "bad" side of my gender though...gives us decent gals a bad name : )

 

[FireWire]

Thanks

There's far too many these days and it's just getting worse. Probably a sign of the times.

 

[Austar]

Thanks

There's far too many these days and it's just getting worse. Probably a sign of the times.

It's interesting you mentioned aggressive women..I see that too...aggressive and want a relationship to be nearly "instantaneous"...once upon a time a slow getting to know period was the norm...it was a build up...in that sense it gives each other room to move....

unlike now where if someone doesn't get a text in the last few hours then that's a bad sign, worlds are caving in......and in some cases this is the reaction of someone who has only known the other less than a month!

 

[Jullianna]

If I wake up and find a woman curled up by my feet, I'm grabbin' the shotgun.

I'm pretty good with a 3 piece set, but B&E is still illegal. Guess Ruth didn't know that.

Then again....could just be the tooth fairy trying to find a place to nap.