Does the church ignore single Christians? Where are we supposed to go?!?

[SearchingforSerenity]

I’m sometimes taking my grandkids to church (not their favorite grandma activity), and then Im somehow being elevated from being a dreaded single lady to a sweet old grandmother.

You’re funny.

 

[Lanolin]

Take your cats and dogs to church for the blessing of the animals.
Some churches do 'ave 'em.

Happens once every year for St Francis of Assisi on October 4.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

Take your cats and dogs to church for the blessing of the animals.
Some churches do 'ave 'em.

Happens once every year for St Francis of Assisi on October 4.

My opossum gets blessed every day with a home cooked meal.

Not mine, but still cute .

 

[I_am_Canadian]

I recently started going back to church (that's another story!) and I noticed that my church has a ton of groups and different ministries. They have groups for seniors, children, youth, young adults (18-30), young families, marriage events, Alpha, teaching groups, special needs kids, community outreach, etc. They have a lot and that's great! But there's one glaringly obvious group that's been left out. Singles over 30. It's as if we don't exist. And I'm not just talking about my church, all churches I've been to and have looked at attending in the past have absolutely diddly squat for singles.
I know we can join bible studies and such, but it's annoying when every other life stage has specific events and meetings for them but singles are forgotten.

What has been your experience with your church or previous churches and their attitude towards us "elderly" single people?

Second question. What are your thoughts on meeting a potential mate at church?
Personally, I believe as single Christians we're probably not going to be meeting our future spouse at a bar, so that's not really an option. And we all know online dating is pure torture. So where are single Christians supposed to meet each other?

It's not you, it's like that up here in Canada too.

 

[I_am_Canadian]

That church just might need someone to step up and lead a 30+ singles group. Our church staff tell members, if you can't find a group you'd like to join, start one.

I think meeting a future spouse in a church is a good place to meet that person. One needs to become active so they can meet and get to know other volunteers. Also volunteer positions outside of the church might also prove useful in finding a spouse. There are all kinds of clubs/groups a person can join. I'm a member of a running club, for example, so I get to know that subgroup of people. I often advise folks who would like a spouse to cast a wide net, so the more things one becomes active in the more one is likely to meet that special person.

Don't forget the falling away of believers who get mixed up in dating unbelievers.

 

[Lanolin]

I reccommend joining a walking group..because then you can take a walk with someone, who may be single like you and you can talk to them and get to know them while walking. They may slow their pace to yours, and you might need to walk a little faster to catch up, or you may find someone who walks at the same pace you do, and have many things in common. You can also tell who you'd be comfortable with, because you can figure out personal space while walking.

You'd be walking side by side instead of just staring at each other across a table. Or the back of their heads in a pew. I always find it funny when the pastor/minister has to instruct people to 'turn to the person next to you and say they are awesome'

 

[Lanolin]

You could meet another single in a bar, or you could just meet a bunch of alcoholics.

 

[I_am_Canadian]

You could meet another single in a bar, or you could just meet a bunch of alcoholics.

I don't go to bars

 

[Edith]

thi

holy heavens! controllers! what people must think when they try to control people, in a church, no less!!!!! do you mind telling me what country this happened in? around here, there was a church that made people sign a contract saying they must tithe 10%. that's not proper at all.

s is in Cameroon Karlon.

 

[Lanolin]

I don't go to bars

Well, the bar or party isn't going to come to you.
Sometimes you just have to go out to meet people you know!

Church small talk is not the same, not that I recommend going to bars or parties, (because of the alcoholics) but they are places where you can be social and there are less rules and more intentions of meeting people and having fun.

 

[I_am_Canadian]

Well, the bar or party isn't going to come to you.
Sometimes you just have to go out to meet people you know!

Church small talk is not the same, not that I recommend going to bars or parties, (because of the alcoholics) but they are places where you can be social and there are less rules and more intentions of meeting people and having fun.

Uh Lanolin, the only people I really know are the ones I chat with on here.

 

[Lanolin]

Uh Lanolin, the only people I really know are the ones I chat with on here.

Aw..
Well at least you are having some social interaction, even if its just virtual. Sometimes that can be a lifeline. I always enjoyed your sense of humour.

Unfortunately I live in NZ, very far away from Canada, though I do have cousins there. I've visited once. Its nice to meet up with people from forums, and I have met maybe two people in person that I corresponded with online first. If you count the disastrous dating online thing, maybe five?!

For the purposes of friendship, its ok. I mean I go and meet people I email online all the time, because its just normal to do that for the purpose of business. But just hanging out, not so much. Overseas people, rarely simply cos I can't afford to. Though some people are regular jetsetters, I am not one of them, and my passport expires this year..with no stamps on it!

 

[Lanolin]

One of my single friends who was divorced and looking started joining meetup groups. I don't know if it's still a thing online..you organise a meetup and hope to find someone to connect with.
I went once to one in town with her. It was ok. But I didn't end up having much of a connection with anyone there. It was casual.

The other thing I know about is table for six? Someone organises a table for six single people at a restaurant and you get to meet others that way. I've never done it, and it requires you to pay for a shared meal, but otherwise, if you are looking that might be a safe way to meet someone and click with them, as you are doing something thats enjoyable and can have a conversation.

 

[Lanolin]

Three single men and three women I think. It would have to be lol
Though nowadays, anything goes I suppose. Maybe it's something churches can look into. Many people would love to go to a group dinner and not be awkward without a partner. If the church put on something like this, and did the meal, and all you had to do was show up looking presentable, then I probably would go.

 

[I_am_Canadian]

Aw..
Well at least you are having some social interaction, even if its just virtual. Sometimes that can be a lifeline. I always enjoyed your sense of humour.

Unfortunately I live in NZ, very far away from Canada, though I do have cousins there. I've visited once. Its nice to meet up with people from forums, and I have met maybe two people in person that I corresponded with online first. If you count the disastrous dating online thing, maybe five?!

For the purposes of friendship, its ok. I mean I go and meet people I email online all the time, because its just normal to do that for the purpose of business. But just hanging out, not so much. Overseas people, rarely simply cos I can't afford to. Though some people are regular jetsetters, I am not one of them, and my passport expires this year..with no stamps on it!

Yeah, doing the best I can with what I have and that aint much.

Oh ok, actually I think you mentioned that once before. I was 17 the first time I went to meet someone I met online, (almost wound up in Detroit) lol.

True, good point.

 

[Lanolin]

I am so old that I remember before the internet, people would place ads in the personal column of the newspaper.
They could only write so much, because they had to pay by word.
So they used txt speak, like SWF (single white female) or looking for LTR meaning long-term-relationship.
A lot of people liked walks on the beach lol.
Then someone would answer their ad by calling a number which was sent to a special voicemail and had a code they could listen to and then decide if they wanted to meet them or not.

You were seen as desperate if you had to place an ad in the paper, it meant you couldn't just find someone in a club or a party or through friends. However if you were specfic on what you wanted, it was an easy way to screen suitors who were also interested in a relationship and not just for friendship/hanging out.

Yea like a want ad in the paper, but for personal.
There was also this thing called "love songs till midnight' on the radio. I'll maybe share that in another post. I don't know if they do that anymore.

 

[I_am_Canadian]

I am so old that I remember before the internet, people would place ads in the personal column of the newspaper.
They could only write so much, because they had to pay by word.
So they used txt speak, like SWF (single white female) or looking for LTR meaning long-term-relationship.
A lot of people liked walks on the beach lol.
Then someone would answer their ad by calling a number which was sent to a special voicemail and had a code they could listen to and then decide if they wanted to meet them or not.

You were seen as desperate if you had to place an ad in the paper, it meant you couldn't just find someone in a club or a party or through friends. However if you were specfic on what you wanted, it was an easy way to screen suitors who were also interested in a relationship and not just for friendship/hanging out.

Yea like a want ad in the paper, but for personal.
There was also this thing called "love songs till midnight' on the radio. I'll maybe share that in another post. I don't know if they do that anymore.

I remember the news paper ads, it was the personals column.

 

[Lanolin]

I remember the news paper ads, it was the personals column.

The only personal ads now in the newspapers (my dad still subscribes!) are death notices.
They don't even have any birth or marriage notices anymore.

I think it's all gone to facebook and other online platforms. It used to be everyone read the newspaper. Maybe from the 90s onwards (1995 was when we first got internet) it spelled the death knell for them.

When we first got ICQ and IM, all anybody asked upon first meeting online was ASL, which meant age, sex, location.

Very unsafe to do this, as anybody could be anybody online. But back then it was only computer geeks and early adopters, not everyday people.

 

[I_am_Canadian]

The only personal ads now in the newspapers (my dad still subscribes!) are death notices.
They don't even have any birth or marriage notices anymore.

I think it's all gone to facebook and other online platforms. It used to be everyone read the newspaper. Maybe from the 90s onwards (1995 was when we first got internet) it spelled the death knell for them.

When we first got ICQ and IM, all anybody asked upon first meeting online was ASL, which meant age, sex, location.

Very unsafe to do this, as anybody could be anybody online. But back then it was only computer geeks and early adopters, not everyday people.

Yeah the more we invest in technology the more jobs we are going to loose.
I understand that, I remember all that too.

 

[Lanolin]

But wait, the new technologies allow us to work from home!
Which women have always done anyway, I mean housework doesn't do itself. Unless it's a robovac.