Don't know what to do, Need advice.

  • Thread starter Thread starter aluevano
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aluevano

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I'm very unhappy 3 to 4 days out of the week my husband and I don't speak to eachother. I am fed up with this situation, we always argue over dum things. Every time I ask him to do something or to help me with something he tells me " I'm going, or hold on " I ask him again and its the same answer. He's always watching TV he,watches every show possible. If I have a fam birthday or an event he doesnt put any effort to go, and were always late but when he has a fam gathering he makes sure we are all ready on time. Please HELP.
 
Honestly, I would just sit him down and tell him how it is making you feel and that you would like for him to work on these things. Of course approach him in a nicely manner, you don't want to argue. He can't change without knowing what he is doing that is bothering you.

Then, maybe you and he can set some time aside throughout the week for just the two of you.

Best of luck to you! <3
 
aluevano said:
I'm very unhappy 3 to 4 days out of the week my husband and I don't speak to eachother. I am fed up with this situation, we always argue over dum things. Every time I ask him to do something or to help me with something he tells me " I'm going, or hold on " I ask him again and its the same answer. He's always watching TV he,watches every show possible. If I have a fam birthday or an event he doesnt put any effort to go, and were always late but when he has a fam gathering he makes sure we are all ready on time. Please HELP.
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Thanks I have tried talking to him many times but he doesn't want to hear it, and he tells me u just think ur misses perfect. I also have a problem with him because he doesn't want anyone to b in the living room he wants the kids to stay in there rooms he doesn't like my fam to visit that b cause the kids are too wild. He doesn't like my mom to visit and when were with his fam hes a different man but then again Im always alone either in the kitchen or the living roo I dont know what to do.... :(
 
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. Ask God what you should do, ask Him to open your husband's heart to what he needs to see. I know how hard it is to talk to your husband, I was in a similar situation when my husband and I were still together, he wasn't easy to talk to. Once his mind was set it was welded shut and there was no changing it. So I have prayed for you and your family and God will respond. Please keep your faith and pray over this situation and over your husband and know that you have strength in Christ to get through this.

All good thoughts going your way, in Christ Jesus,
Nancyer
 
aluevano said:
Thanks I have tried talking to him many times but he doesn't want to hear it, and he tells me u just think ur misses perfect. I also have a problem with him because he doesn't want anyone to b in the living room he wants the kids to stay in there rooms he doesn't like my fam to visit that b cause the kids are too wild. He doesn't like my mom to visit and when were with his fam hes a different man but then again Im always alone either in the kitchen or the living roo I dont know what to do.... :(
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have joint family time: as in have his family and your family over at the same time.

how many kids do you have? are they just your kids from a previous relationship or are they his kids too?

I don't know if my husband was acting that way I would talk to some of his family members and find out how they dealt with him.

perhaps ask him why he is so much more pleasant to his family than yours?

why don't you go play with the kids in their room instead of being alone in the living room? Or have the kids help you cook in the kitchen. my kids love to help cook.
 
Sorry to hear about your situation. To me it sounds like he's upset with you but prefers to withdraw rather than make amends. I'm assuming he wasn't always like that. I'm guessing that you have conflicting ways of disciplining the children. My wife thinks I'm too hard on our kids and I think she's too soft. Then we would get angry with eachother. So it would all escalate. Arguing with me about my effectiveness with the discipline would make the kids think I was wrong because she would advocate for them. After awhile I confess I just wanted to retreat myself. My wife and I discussed her undermining me especially in front of the kids. It was disrespectful and had to stop. When I felt respected I in turn desired to show her more love. As well when she desired to add input into my disciplining I was more opt to listen when it was done privately and less adversarial. Its hard for a man to feel love for a woman who doesn't respect him and equally difficult for a woman to respect a man who doesn't show love. I heard a speaker address this and concluded that the more mature person should act first. Hopefully that's you because a have no contact with him. I'm sure he misses you and would rather get along as well. I'll be praying.
 
Have you considered going to counseling together? An objective person may be able to open up the communication between you. Seems like there is a lot of resentment that needs to be resolved. Praying for you both!
 
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