Ego and low self-esteem are the same balloon

[1still_waters]

People talk about an inflated ego. The image is of a fully inflated balloon. I think we can all agree the balloon of an inflated ego is not desirable.

On the other extreme we hear tons of talk about low self-esteem.

I want to ask something.

What if low self-esteem is an inflated ego in reverse?

What if low self-esteem is just a figurative uninflated ego balloon?

What if the issue isn't about getting rid of low self-esteem with high self-esteem?
What if the issue is about getting rid of the balloon, seeing they may be the same thing with different manifestations?
Namely inflated and deflated.

I'm still not convinced self-esteem is something biblical.
I feel like it's a newer word, for an older vice.
That vice being the desire for an inflated ego.

In the new terminology, deflated ego is replaced with the word, low self-esteem.
Inflated ego is replaced with high self-esteem.

Maybe that balloon needs to be removed and tossed in to the fire and replaced with something else?

 

[violakat]

Intersting, it sorta sounds like your relating esteem with pride. And since humbleness would be the lack of pride, people reject that and confuse it with low self esteem, when really being humble is a good things. Am I getting the jist of what you're trying to say?

 

[episcopotic]

I think so. A friend explained to me that arrogance and self-aversion were two sides of the same coin: excessive self-concern. Some of us walk around all the time wondering: am I doing alright? We just come to different conclusions.

The lesson to be learned in both cases is the same, but you have to teach it differently. People who think too much of themselves need to be taught they can't, and people who think too little of themselves need to be taught they don't have to. For the former, increase the weight until they can't stand on their own. For the latter, take it off their shoulders.

If we're not meant to walk around all day wondering how we are, what do we concern ourselves with?

 

[1still_waters]

Intersting, it sorta sounds like your relating esteem with pride. And since humbleness would be the lack of pride, people reject that and confuse it with low self esteem, when really being humble is a good things. Am I getting the jist of what you're trying to say?

Humility doesn't not equal lack of pride.

low selfesteem = lack of pride.

Humility is biblical and doesn't have its roots in ego at all.

 

[djness]

I'll be sure to go back through my life and find all the people who cut me down by saying mean things and thank them for not letting me get an over inflated ego.

I think people with low -self esteem can get a big ego because they turn into people who say ''well i don't do the things that those people do, so i am better''.

Namely myself, with whom my pastor labeled years back as a guy with a really large ego and really low self esteem.

 

[wwjd_kilden]

Humility doesn't not equal lack of pride.

low selfesteem = lack of pride.

Humility is biblical and doesn't have its roots in ego at all.

hmmm, to me

Low self esteem = thinking "I can't do this and I am not worth anything"
Humbleness ="I can do this but it does not make me a better than others"
Pride = "I am excellent at" or "I am better "

 

[Jullianna]

Balance. Knowing that none of us are worse or better than any of us, and that God loves ALL of us. Knowing our strengths and our weaknesses, and allowing God to use both for His purposes rather than our own. All too often we forget that we weren't created to be anything for ourselves.


I really like this passage:

Philippians 2

2 Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

 

[Ugly]

My understanding of psychology teaches they are not the same. You can have both low self esteem and still have inflated ego. I sometimes feel that way as well.

 

[Liamson]

In a way to kind of Echo what Ugly is saying....

Self-Esteem is essentially how good one feels about themselves. Which is to say that it is a subjective perspective of a person's worth to themselves. It fluctuates with the mood of a person, the tide, how they feel, what clothes they are wearing etc. It hinges on compliments, success at being noticed, or having a skill that is noticed by others for good or bad. Its based on what you think about yourself at any given moment. Its like an internal positive or negative feedback loop. Its the inner voice that sets the tone for the day. It is always asking and fishing for how to feel.

My counter to this is....

Self Respect. Self Respect is based on what you do. It doesn't matter what you did in the past, it is about what you are doing now. This is an externally verifiable foundation for what to judge of ourselves. If someone tries to cut you down, you can compare that person's words with what you have accomplished and the standards of behavior that you attempt to attain. The words just don't fit the facts. And that erodes their credibility, not yours. No one can take what you have accomplished away from you. Also if you do bad things, self respect goes down the tubes.

UNLESS..... you tell yourself over and over that in spite of you bad actions, you are in fact a good person. But that isn't self respect, its self-esteem.

I think Ego is more of an external broadcast of Self-Esteem. Its telling people how good we are as opposed to letting them decide for themselves. It would be like if I told everyone here that I am the greatest Skier, dart player, driver, Fencer, that I have ever met. Though theoretically true, it only serves to inflate my ego.

I suppose my counter to Ego would be reputation. Its not based upon what I say about myself. Even if I never spoke another word about myself, people would still know who I am and what I'm about doing. And at the end of the day my reputation has more to do with what I've done than anything else, much like my self respect. Neither of these things do I need to worry about what other people think changing my mood because I already know that I am a capable human being, having proven it through action time and time again.