Failed relationship

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Layo4

New member
#1
Apr 3, 2020
5
3
3
#1
Hello i'm new here.
I have this phobia for love, relationship. The fear that it will come to an end soon and it has cost me my relationship. I broke up with my boyfriend recently because of fear. Now i regret everything that has happened and he doesn't seems to want me back... I'm heartbroken and depressed😔😔😔
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#2
Sep 17, 2018
3,669
2,887
113
#2
Layo4 said:
Hello i'm new here.
I have this phobia for love, relationship. The fear that it will come to an end soon and it has cost me my relationship. I broke up with my boyfriend recently because of fear. Now i regret everything that has happened and he doesn't seems to want me back... I'm heartbroken and depressed😔😔😔
Click to expand...
Love is risk. Period. There is no safe love. So you have to decide Before you even consider a relationship if you are willing to take that risk. If not then avoid romance completely.
Relationships will always bring about some kind of pain. But deciding if the good outweighs the bad is what determines your choices.
And it's no surprise he won't take you back. Your fears hurt him, and if you did that once more than likely you'll do it to him again. The risk of loving someone who could run at any moment is a great one. And rarely does it work out.
So for now I would avoid relationships and do a lot of introspection. You're better off alone than repeating that behavior. Maybe over time you can work through the fears and be ready to try again. But for now it's best to work on yourself.
 
Roughsoul1991

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
#3
Sep 17, 2016
8,784
4,452
113
#3
Layo4 said:
Hello i'm new here.
I have this phobia for love, relationship. The fear that it will come to an end soon and it has cost me my relationship. I broke up with my boyfriend recently because of fear. Now i regret everything that has happened and he doesn't seems to want me back... I'm heartbroken and depressed😔😔😔
Click to expand...
Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, only this time more wisely.”
— Henry Ford

If you dont start or try then you fail anyways. You are still depressed no matter the outcome. Unfortunately love is risky. We make ourselves vulnerable all for the sake of needing to feel wanted, loved, and most of us dream of a family. Dating involves failure. Failure can be good. It can show you who isnt right for you. Statistically it will be the man chasing you anyways so more than likely it would be you anyways to end it.
chalabi-datalab-dumper.png

You can see it in yourself as a phobia. The fear of failure is automatically making you fail.

So reimagine dating. Go into dating seeking that husband or great father to your kids. Dont settle for less. This is what dating is for. To test the waters per say. To filter out the harmful bacteria. To make sure you are putting yourself in the most healthy position to build a serious relationship.

But even if a serious relationship does fail. Learn from it and keep moving forward. There are many fish in the sea and someone for everyone.

But you have actually try and have a relationship. Dont go into it with the mindset of failure. Go into it with the mindset of marriage. With that bar so high, the failure will more than likely feel like you dodged a bullet rather than blaming yourself.

Live, enjoy life. We cannot do life alone. We are here on Earth for only a short time. Dont let the fear of failure stop you from the will of God for your life.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#4
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
113
#4
Let God mend your broken heart. Give it to Him and cultivate a relationship with Jesus. I guarantee that one will never fail. as His love never fails.
 
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Layo4

New member
#5
Apr 3, 2020
5
3
3
#5
Wow i'm real
Roughsoul1991 said:
Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, only this time more wisely.”
— Henry Ford

If you dont start or try then you fail anyways. You are still depressed no matter the outcome. Unfortunately love is risky. We make ourselves vulnerable all for the sake of needing to feel wanted, loved, and most of us dream of a family. Dating involves failure. Failure can be good. It can show you who isnt right for you. Statistically it will be the man chasing you anyways so more than likely it would be you anyways to end it.
View attachment 214391

You can see it in yourself as a phobia. The fear of failure is automatically making you fail.

So reimagine dating. Go into dating seeking that husband or great father to your kids. Dont settle for less. This is what dating is for. To test the waters per say. To filter out the harmful bacteria. To make sure you are putting yourself in the most healthy position to build a serious relationship.

But even if a serious relationship does fail. Learn from it and keep moving forward. There are many fish in the sea and someone for everyone.

But you have actually try and have a relationship. Dont go into it with the mindset of failure. Go into it with the mindset of marriage. With that bar so high, the failure will more than likely feel like you dodged a bullet rather than blaming yourself.

Live, enjoy life. We cannot do life alone. We are here on Earth for only a short time. Dont let the fear of failure stop you from the will of God for your life.
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I'm really grateful for this😩😩 thank you very much.
 
L

Layo4

New member
#6
Apr 3, 2020
5
3
3
#6
Lanolin said:
Let God mend your broken heart. Give it to Him and cultivate a relationship with Jesus. I guarantee that one will never fail. as His love never fails.
Click to expand...

Thank you very much ❤
 
L

Layo4

New member
#7
Apr 3, 2020
5
3
3
#7
Subhumanoidal said:
Love is risk. Period. There is no safe love. So you have to decide Before you even consider a relationship if you are willing to take that risk. If not then avoid romance completely.
Relationships will always bring about some kind of pain. But deciding if the good outweighs the bad is what determines your choices.
And it's no surprise he won't take you back. Your fears hurt him, and if you did that once more than likely you'll do it to him again. The risk of loving someone who could run at any moment is a great one. And rarely does it work out.
So for now I would avoid relationships and do a lot of introspection. You're better off alone than repeating that behavior. Maybe over time you can work through the fears and be ready to try again. But for now it's best to work on yourself.
Click to expand...
Thank you very much 😔❤
 
P

Prycejosh1987

Active member
#8
Jul 19, 2020
953
166
43
#8
Layo4 said:
Hello i'm new here.
I have this phobia for love, relationship. The fear that it will come to an end soon and it has cost me my relationship. I broke up with my boyfriend recently because of fear. Now i regret everything that has happened and he doesn't seems to want me back... I'm heartbroken and depressed😔😔😔
Click to expand...
How ironic, your fears caused you to do the very thing you feared. Try and get your boyfriend back. It seems as you broke up with him, he didnt want to break up with you.
 
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