Falling in love!❤

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true_believer

Well-known member
Sep 24, 2020
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#61
I finds as one gets older and is less ruled by their hormones, the less likely one is to fall in love so quickly and foolishly.
 

Harryziva

New member
Oct 17, 2020
1
1
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#62
I hardly fall in love, that's the problem..I probably believe God will do it some day.
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,488
1,298
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#63
I hardly fall in love, that's the problem..I probably believe God will do it some day.
In jesus name may this be your life experience in your life time..🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻👍😊
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,488
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#64
I finds as one gets older and is less ruled by their hormones, the less likely one is to fall in love so quickly and foolishly.
Sometimes its infact the opposite.There are guys who unfortunately take advantage of those who are alone due to divorce,widow hood ect and manipulate them emotionally by seductive charm and convince them to give them money and other things....😔
Yet with age also can come wisdom and maturity most definitely.👍👍
I know a last whose been single for quite a number of years and says shes happy being single and does want a guy to come into her life to kinda mess up the way that shes living...I guess what she's most probably saying is that shes is set in her ways of doing things ect and doesn't wanna adapt or be flexible for the sake of a relationship.
Much appreciate your comments here.😊😊
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#65
hmm I dunno apparently there were some 'randy' old men in the retirement village I used to work in.

falling in love doesnt seem to be the privelige of just the young and foolish. Or it might be they could have been on some kind of medication that made them fall in love....

People say there are aphrodisiac type foods but actually, I dont know about that Ive never really put it to the test...chocolate is nice, but its never made me fall in love.

and alcohol just kinda makes me nauseous though it seemingly affects other people, though you can usually tell the differnece between someone whos drunk and someone whos in love.
 

Kireina

Well-known member
Aug 26, 2020
1,487
1,410
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#66
If you love someone,I mean truly love someone that love doesn't die... love conquers time, it may sit a lil while but it won't get tired... it will rise, it will strike 😊
Had time to reflect on things recently (as one does from time to time)..and had time to think about the last time I was actually in love.I was actually a bit surprised as realise that I have been in love a few times over the years..and other times what I thought was love was just either infatuation or just being strongly attracted to someone..but being in love was les than I thought.Having said that I am obviously able to fall I love..I am.i am no emotionally distant ect.
What about you...do you fall in love easily...or are very cautious when it come to affairs of the heart?
 

Mezame83

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2019
291
316
63
#67
Loving someone fully is one of the bravest, strongest, and deconstructing things you can do. Seeing yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you is life changing.
I agree with the first sentence. Yet seeing oneself through the eyes of the one that loves you is where I have difficulty.
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,669
113
#68
I agree with the first sentence. Yet seeing oneself through the eyes of the one that loves you is where I have difficulty.
What is the difficulty with the second line? I am curious. My thought is that we spend a lot of our life seeing ourselves as others see us. It can be the loving mother or the critical mother. It helps us blossom or close ourselves off to protect ourselves from hurt and disapproval. When you see yourself through the eyes of God you will be humbled and overwhelmed. His love heals and grows you and changes you forever. I spent too many years seeing myself through the eyes of someone who didn't love me. It isn't that I didn't have an individual view of myself but it was life giving to instead, see myself through the eyes of dear friends who did love me and reflected back hope and kindness. That was my thought with the second line.
 

true_believer

Well-known member
Sep 24, 2020
950
363
63
#69
I have dated A LOT of females since I was a teenager, searching for the one.
Out of of all of them, there were two that I truly loved and would have considered marrying.
I would love to experience that king of passion again....if it's possible.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
61,161
30,311
113
#70
I would love to experience that king of passion again....if it's possible.
Is that a typo? If it is: good one! LOL


Back in the 70s, Desiderata was so popular it was recorded in
spoken word by Les Crane, and then parodied by National Lampoon.


National Lampoon's Deteriorata

Deteriorata is a famous parody of 1971 recording of Desiderata, the 1927 poem
by Max Ehrmann. Desiderata is a Latin word meaning “things to be desired”; the
word “deteriorata” is a portmanteau of “desiderata” and the verb “deteriorate.”
In National Lampoon’s version, the lofty ideals of the original are subverted,
often in direct line parodies, with the optimistic themes of wholeness, acceptance,
love, and optimism replaced with the pessimistic themes of neurosis, anxiety, and hostility.
source

In Desiderata on the topic of love, we are advised to:
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.


In Deteriorata on the topic of love, we are advised:
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
Would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love therefore;

It will stick to your face.

This post was made in jest :D

We now return to the regularly scheduled program :)
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
61,161
30,311
113
#71
On a more serious note, also in the early 70s when I was a young teenager, I discovered the work of Persian poet Kahlil Gibran, who wrote a beloved book called The Prophet (it was also parodied in a book called The Profit by Kehlog Albran, but we will not go there heehee). I was particularly struck by what Kahlil wrote "On Love."

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.


For even as love crowns you so shall he
crucify you. Even as he is for your growth
so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses
your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and
shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you
may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.


All these things shall love do unto you
that you may know the secrets of your
heart, and in that knowledge become a
fragment of Life’s heart.


But if in your fear you would seek only
love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness
and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you
shall laugh, but not all of your laughter,
and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.


When you love you should not say,
“God is in my heart,” but rather,
“I am in the heart of God.”
And think not you can direct the course of love,
for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.


Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have
desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook
that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart
and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate on love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart
and a song of praise upon your lips.








 

true_believer

Well-known member
Sep 24, 2020
950
363
63
#72
I have dated A LOT of females since I was a teenager, searching for the one.
Out of of all of them, there were two that I truly loved and would have considered marrying.
I would love to experience that king of passion again....if it's possible.
*kind
 

true_believer

Well-known member
Sep 24, 2020
950
363
63
#73
Sometimes its infact the opposite.There are guys who unfortunately take advantage of those who are alone due to divorce,widow hood ect and manipulate them emotionally by seductive charm and convince them to give them money and other things....😔
Yet with age also can come wisdom and maturity most definitely.👍👍
I know a last whose been single for quite a number of years and says shes happy being single and does want a guy to come into her life to kinda mess up the way that shes living...I guess what she's most probably saying is that shes is set in her ways of doing things ect and doesn't wanna adapt or be flexible for the sake of a relationship.
Much appreciate your comments here.😊😊
...and there are women that take advantage of lonely older men.
 

true_believer

Well-known member
Sep 24, 2020
950
363
63
#74
One thing I've learned that I wish many of my friends did before entering a a marriage or LTR. Another person should complement your life....not be the primary focus
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,101
3,199
113
#75
What is the difficulty with the second line? I am curious. My thought is that we spend a lot of our life seeing ourselves as others see us. It can be the loving mother or the critical mother. It helps us blossom or close ourselves off to protect ourselves from hurt and disapproval. When you see yourself through the eyes of God you will be humbled and overwhelmed. His love heals and grows you and changes you forever. I spent too many years seeing myself through the eyes of someone who didn't love me. It isn't that I didn't have an individual view of myself but it was life giving to instead, see myself through the eyes of dear friends who did love me and reflected back hope and kindness. That was my thought with the second line.
Well I think there is a distinction between what it means for you, and for her (and others, no doubt).
Also notice the difference in wording that changes the meaning. You phrased it "the eyes of Someone that loves you" vs Mez saying "the eyes of the one that loves you". Two different meanings.
You jumped straight to mother, God, friends but those are not the only options.
I, for example, have issues with seeing myself positively, therefore when in a relationship I have a hard time understanding how I'm viewed by the person I'm dating. They may express it to me and I may know all the right reasons, technically, yet I still can't internalize it and really "get it".
I grew up with good parents, and despite the inability to grasp why someone may feel strong romantic feelings for me, it's easy for me to believe and understand why a parent loves me. So different types of relationships come with varying capacities to understand.

Others may grow up being actively told all their faults, so when people come along that see the good things in them they may have difficulty accepting the idea there is anything good in them for someone to see and enjoy.

So the ability to see how others see you isn't a one size fits all ability.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#76
I think many parents put their children up for marriage or set them up for it subliminally.

Like they go 'when you marry' or 'when you get your own place' or they talk about 'grow up and get married'

The parents are like on the surface hating whoever you go out with but secretly they are like YES someone else can take care of the daughter shes just another mouth to feed.

or maybe Im just cynical...
I rebel and say Im born here and aint leaving sorry ma and pa, They will have to drag me away. I love you too much to fall in love with someone else.

I know parents who make life so difficult for their children that in the end they run away...any chance of a relationship with someone else is their ticket to freedom, but it might be that they end up in a worse state than before. A lot of parents also, having given their children away in marriage will find it hard for them to come back and look after them when they are old cos they got their own families to look after.

I know several in this sandwhich generation who find it really hard to support both their own children AND their parents. If someones got the answer to this can they say it here...all I can think of is maybe it can all be solved with pots of money that most people just dont have.

anyone actually got a job that pays a pension these days? apparently workplace pensions schemes were ABOLISHED and the govt started taxing everyone instead
 

true_believer

Well-known member
Sep 24, 2020
950
363
63
#77
I think many parents put their children up for marriage or set them up for it subliminally.

Like they go 'when you marry' or 'when you get your own place' or they talk about 'grow up and get married'

The parents are like on the surface hating whoever you go out with but secretly they are like YES someone else can take care of the daughter shes just another mouth to feed.

or maybe Im just cynical...
I rebel and say Im born here and aint leaving sorry ma and pa, They will have to drag me away. I love you too much to fall in love with someone else.

I know parents who make life so difficult for their children that in the end they run away...any chance of a relationship with someone else is their ticket to freedom, but it might be that they end up in a worse state than before. A lot of parents also, having given their children away in marriage will find it hard for them to come back and look after them when they are old cos they got their own families to look after.

I know several in this sandwhich generation who find it really hard to support both their own children AND their parents. If someones got the answer to this can they say it here...all I can think of is maybe it can all be solved with pots of money that most people just dont have.

anyone actually got a job that pays a pension these days? apparently workplace pensions schemes were ABOLISHED and the govt started taxing everyone instead
My paternal lineage is Middle Eastern and South Asian. Marriage is supposed to be the great end all or be all of life.
*rolls eyes*
 

Mezame83

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2019
291
316
63
#78
Well I think there is a distinction between what it means for you, and for her (and others, no doubt).
Also notice the difference in wording that changes the meaning. You phrased it "the eyes of Someone that loves you" vs Mez saying "the eyes of the one that loves you". Two different meanings.
You jumped straight to mother, God, friends but those are not the only options.
I, for example, have issues with seeing myself positively, therefore when in a relationship I have a hard time understanding how I'm viewed by the person I'm dating. They may express it to me and I may know all the right reasons, technically, yet I still can't internalize it and really "get it".
I grew up with good parents, and despite the inability to grasp why someone may feel strong romantic feelings for me, it's easy for me to believe and understand why a parent loves me. So different types of relationships come with varying capacities to understand.

Others may grow up being actively told all their faults, so when people come along that see the good things in them they may have difficulty accepting the idea there is anything good in them for someone to see and enjoy.

So the ability to see how others see you isn't a one size fits all ability.
Thank you for your response. :)

@laughingheart Subs response explains what I meant. I know God, my parents, siblings and friends love me but have had experiences in life that make it difficult to fully grasp the depth of my boyfriend's love for me although I know he does.