family matters need input....

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princessgerri

Guest
#1
#1
I have a brother whose an alcoholic has been for years he's been holding to unforgiveness and pain in his life for years. One day he attacked me and my daughter he didnt hurt thankGod for that but we had to call the police on him now he's in jail it that hurt so bad did we do.the right thing by putting him jail?
 
notuptome

notuptome

Senior Member
#2
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
113
#2
He is self destructive. His behavior clearly demonstrates that he is hurting himself and he is capable of hurting others. It seems as if you really had no choice. The blame is not yours but his. He is at war with God in his life. Pray for him but try not to enable him to continue his bad behavior. The prodigal had to sink awfully low before he came to his senses. Be there to help him when he hits bottom. It can be a long and painful wait but you can do little except wait. Time spent waiting upon the Lord is not time wasted.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
4enlightment

4enlightment

Banned
#3
May 15, 2013
4,307
27
0
#3
princessgerri said:
I have a brother whose an alcoholic has been for years he's been holding to unforgiveness and pain in his life for years. One day he attacked me and my daughter he didnt hurt thankGod for that but we had to call the police on him now he's in jail it that hurt so bad did we do.the right thing by putting him jail?
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If it wasn't what God desire for him to be, he wouldn't be there. Like in the story about Joseph and the his twelve brother. God had put Joseph in prison for His purpose.
 
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enoch1nine

Guest
#4
#4
I have a brother whose an alcoholic has been for years he's been holding to unforgiveness and pain in his life for years.
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He was already in jail.

did we do.the right thing by putting him jail?
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You just called for help, which is the right thing to do. The law put him in jail.
 
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piper27

Guest
#5
#5
Yes. Rest your heart. What he sows, he reaps. Its a natural consequence to sin. You cannot help him by letting hiim 'get away' with it. When he, himself feels the pain of his choices, he might make the brave decision to make some changes. The only thing you can pray is that he is receptive to all the love God is trying to pour out on him.

Setting boundries is good, you are very brave for allowing the right thing to happen.
 
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nathan3

Guest
#6
#6
well he got out of control so I think it was your only safe bet.

Expressing forgiveness , and a , I love you; go's a long way to opening up a dialog with him..

And if possible, bring him some food , a way that he can see , that you have not abandoned him. encourage him that hes able, to make good lasting changes in his life, and try to stay away from bringing up the past.

If your looking for a good relationship with him, then communication is key, because hes probably like you said, having things bottled up, and feelings of abandonment or whatever the case. So confusion is running high with him. So you want to be clear, and not give appear to give off mixed messages , which might be happen with some one in his state of mind at this time.

Just be honest open and convey this in realistic terms. ( whatever you can or cannot handle about him ) And try to go from there. with gentleness .


Don't forget to pray about it asking God to change his mind for the better in your free time. I hope he gets better, and stay safe.
 
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santuzza

santuzza

Senior Member
#7
Feb 12, 2013
1,609
38
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#7
He put himself in jail by his own choices and actions. You need to get rid of the guilt -- he was the guilty party here, not you.

With that said, continue to pray for him. Hopefully he will turn to the Lord in his desperate hour.
 
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NiceneCreed

Guest
#8
#8
What you brother did was a terrible thing! And you can be assured that God was looking out for you and that He [God] made sure you and your daughter were not harmed. Scripture says we are to forgive as the Lord has forgiven us. I can see you have already forgiven your brother for his actions, otherwise, you would not be showing the degree of compassion you are for his well-being. Quite frankly, I doubt very much that you would even need assurance from others who say you did the right thing by calling the police and having him jailed. It seems the real focus lies in your inability to forgive yourself for what you perceive to be a sin against your brother. Just because we are to be forgiving as Christians, that doesn't mean God does not exact judgment on those who sin. Furthermore, God may have used this experience for the 'greater good' in your brother's life. Perhaps God will use this experience as a wake up call to your brother to get off the booze and to fill his soul with the only thing that truly heals; Christ Jesus. One things is for sure; now is the time for you and your family to have deep prayer for your brother. Ask God to heal your brother's heart!


Grace and Peace! And God Bless!
 
JaumeJ

JaumeJ

Senior Member
#9
Jul 2, 2011
21,237
6,530
113
#9
It is not unloving to demonstrate to a loved one there are repercussions for one's actions. Love does not mean saying yes when the reply should be no. Love is being truthful. Your brother endangered others and himself, so a bucket of reality and truth is the only response possible to protect your other loved ones who just may be defenseless. I have you, and your brother in prayer. If he gets through this time and with the Lord, he will be happy you did what you had to do. In the meantime,you love him in Christ, and this is the most important attitude.

princessgerri said:
I have a brother whose an alcoholic has been for years he's been holding to unforgiveness and pain in his life for years. One day he attacked me and my daughter he didnt hurt thankGod for that but we had to call the police on him now he's in jail it that hurt so bad did we do.the right thing by putting him jail?
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Graybeard

Guest
#10
#10
I think the Mods should perhaps move this to the Family Forum
 
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danschance

Guest
#11
#11
princessgerri said:
I have a brother whose an alcoholic has been for years he's been holding to unforgiveness and pain in his life for years. One day he attacked me and my daughter he didnt hurt thankGod for that but we had to call the police on him now he's in jail it that hurt so bad did we do.the right thing by putting him jail?
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Jail might be good for him.

I had a co-worker tell me that he was arrested for purchasing cocaine. He was placed in a drug program and later in a honor ranch where he did labor on fire prevention in the forest. He was heavily into drugs and alcohol. He even robbed a donut store to buy drugs. His life was spiraling out of control.

He said that his arrest saved his life. He now attends AA once a week or more and has a steady job. You did not put your bother in jail, he did by his actions. Pray for him daily. He really needs you to do that for him.
 
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OwenHeidenreich

Guest
#12
#12
the Spirit that lives in you is a Spirit of faith and he lives in you. and loves you. The very best thing that the Spirit could do is convicting him of his ways and then changing him to become Christ like.

Just look at Paul, he was just like your brother but God changed him to be one of the most faithful prophets.

Right now is a good time even though it looks bad. don't be deceived by your own feelings and impressions because we are to walk by faith and not by sight. Now is a perfect time for your brother because he is alone with God and he will change. He may be bored in the flesh but his Spirit is bouncing off the walls ready to break free. Take heart.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#13
Apr 18, 2013
9,372
2,448
113
#13
Agree with everyone else... you did the right thing.

Sometimes doing the right thing is hard.
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#14
#14
4enlightment said:
If it wasn't what God desire for him to be, he wouldn't be there. Like in the story about Joseph and the his twelve brother. God had put Joseph in prison for His purpose.
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Or, God's allowance. The story of Job is about Satan asking God permission to hurt Job and his family and take his material possessions.
 
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