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Lynn
Guest
I've been dealing with issues in my family, and don' know how to really explain to them how they've hurt me without offending them
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Helloimandrewyo
Guest
Oh man, i am dealing with this currently, and have been for the last 16 years. There is no easy way dealing with family. My Mom is bi-polar, manic depressive, and has split personality disorder. The best part though is she is a lawyer as well. So really whenever there is an issue, its like battling with a whole forum of lawyers. lol
I will for sure be praying for you in regardess to this matter. If you wanna talk to me more specificaly about whats up, i may be able to help you better. It all depends on how comfortable you feel with it though.
God Bless..
I will for sure be praying for you in regardess to this matter. If you wanna talk to me more specificaly about whats up, i may be able to help you better. It all depends on how comfortable you feel with it though.
God Bless..
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Lynn
Guest
I'm glad to know I'm not alone. It's like evrytime I try to tell them how I feel they get mad, and yell at me or get defensive. And lol! Thats gotta make for some arguments. I know how lawyers can get haha. And thank you. I really appreciate that. I will be praying for you as well, and would like to talk to you about whats been going on if you don't mind
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Ugly
Guest
Well, as i see it, part of the problem is that your goal is to not offend. Its understandable, but only to a certain extent. Reality is sometimes you have to offend people. There's no way around it unless you just keep your mouth shut at all times. And all that does is turn you into a frustrated person and likely a doormat.
And if you're confronting them about something they have done wrong, then no surprise they aren't receptive. Most people are not receptive to that.
These people offended you in some manner, yet they didn't give a second thought to how you feel, yet when the tables are turned you become concerned about offending them. These people showed no concern for you when dealing with you, so you also should not place a lot of emphasis on not offending them. If you can find a way to deal with it without being offensive, great, but if not then you just need to speak up, step on toes and not worry. And i'm not talking about eye for an eye, but just that you have a right to speak up and share your concerns or problems. Speak up, be bold, and if they don't like it then they need to rethink the way they treat people to begin with.
And if you're confronting them about something they have done wrong, then no surprise they aren't receptive. Most people are not receptive to that.
These people offended you in some manner, yet they didn't give a second thought to how you feel, yet when the tables are turned you become concerned about offending them. These people showed no concern for you when dealing with you, so you also should not place a lot of emphasis on not offending them. If you can find a way to deal with it without being offensive, great, but if not then you just need to speak up, step on toes and not worry. And i'm not talking about eye for an eye, but just that you have a right to speak up and share your concerns or problems. Speak up, be bold, and if they don't like it then they need to rethink the way they treat people to begin with.
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Lynn
Guest
Youre 100% right. I need to let them know what their doing. The hardest person to tell his my biological mom. She always shuts me out, and acts like she hates me. The last time she called me was months ago to curse at me, and yell at me for searching for my biological father. Its really stressful. I called her over the holidays to wish her a good year, and she was so mean and spoke to me very rude. It really hurt my feelings. Its like being stuck in a hard place because I don't understand why she has resentment towards me, when I did nothing wrong. I'm going to have to tell her how I feel though.
You can pray to God that they see how they are offending you. He can open their eyes to what they are doing and make them understand how much they are hurting you. God bless.
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." - Psalm 34:18
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Lynn
Guest
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Steve4U
Guest
Lynn,
I wonder if you've considered if your biological mum is projecting part of her feelings towards your dad on to you, so every time she speaks to you her pain about him is right there with it.
Anyway, the best to you, and love from us all here.
I wonder if you've considered if your biological mum is projecting part of her feelings towards your dad on to you, so every time she speaks to you her pain about him is right there with it.
Anyway, the best to you, and love from us all here.
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Ugly
Guest
Its likely not You she has a problem with. But something about you makes her feel guilty. Maybe she feels bad about your upbringing or things that have happened to you and rather than accept the responsibility as parent and the areas she failed in, she takes her guilt and failure out on you. Fairly common.
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