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H
Fast and pray for your brother in law. Invite him to church. Don't let him hear the end of you. As for your sister, keep giving [assuming she has financial troubles]. Tell her why you give, and talk to her about the love of God. Give all of your worries to the Lord and great things will happen.
But most importantly, ask the Lord what to do. No man can give better advice than Him.
But most importantly, ask the Lord what to do. No man can give better advice than Him.
U
Love them. But do not give money to feed a drug habit. If your sister asks you for money because her husband is spending what money they do have on drugs, then the time has come for your sister to make a decision. Stay with a drug addict husband and go hungry ........ or leave. If it were my sister in this situation, I would offer to take her in until she were able to land on her own two feet. God does not ask us to be doormats. But He does want us to help those in need. Your sister may need help. But your help does not come in the form of money to purchase drugs.
I used to be a a minister/case worker for a main drug re-hab for men when I lived out east. One of the things that was a big hinderance was the wives getting money for there husbands drug problems. As you may know, they are called an enabler. If you suspect that your sister is continually asking you for money for his habit, you're going to have to take a stand and tell her you won't give her anymore money. Or ask her what it's for, if the answer is for a bill or gas or food(which are commonly used excuses) then tell her you'll go with her to fill the tank, get some groceries or go pay the bill. If she's lying she's going to try a talk you out of it through some kind of lie. If she beats around the bush, you'll need to tell her this is the only way you're willing to help her. Which in turn she'll probably get a bit irritated with you. Again I stress, if you're sure she's giving this money to her husband, DON'T give her anymore unless she is willing to let you pay for what needs to be taken care, i.e. food, gas, or bill, etc. And ultimately pray and ask God to give you direction. Also if you're sure that he is doing drugs, talk to her alone and ask her if she is willing to have her husband go to rehab. One more thing, your sister leaving her husband is not an option, God is able to heal and restore, people are too quick to want to bail or are too quick to tell others to bail. The main objective is to save this man's life. Shalom
U
1. If the hubby is spending the household money on drugs, giving money or going with the wife to "make certain it's going to the bills" is still enabling .......albeit through the back door. This still leaves him his required money for his habit, correct ?
2. It is the user himself (husband in this case) who must be willing to go to rehab. I would venture to guess that the wife would already be more than willing to have him go .... unless, of course, she herself is also a partaker. Under this second scenario, all the more reason to refuse any further monetary handouts.
3. Yes .... God is able to heal and restore. And as is more than often the case, "hitting rock bottom" and becoming responsible is where they must go before God can raise them up again. As long as most of the bills are being paid and a few groceries are in the cupboards, rock bottom remains a distant charade.
4. Saving this man's life is indeed critical. But he too must want it. There are other objectives to consider as well, not least of which would be his very own wife .... and I pray not in this case, a child or two as well. Suffice it to say that you and I are in disagreement on this matter. Nevertheless my friend, God bless you .....and God bless all concerned.
2. It is the user himself (husband in this case) who must be willing to go to rehab. I would venture to guess that the wife would already be more than willing to have him go .... unless, of course, she herself is also a partaker. Under this second scenario, all the more reason to refuse any further monetary handouts.
3. Yes .... God is able to heal and restore. And as is more than often the case, "hitting rock bottom" and becoming responsible is where they must go before God can raise them up again. As long as most of the bills are being paid and a few groceries are in the cupboards, rock bottom remains a distant charade.
4. Saving this man's life is indeed critical. But he too must want it. There are other objectives to consider as well, not least of which would be his very own wife .... and I pray not in this case, a child or two as well. Suffice it to say that you and I are in disagreement on this matter. Nevertheless my friend, God bless you .....and God bless all concerned.
M
The LOVING...TOUGH type of loving is to SAY NO. Why would you give them the means with which to hurt themselves? Then YOU be come part of their problem in that it is YOU that provides them the means with which to buy the drugs/booze/whatever.
Simply tell them you do not have money for that. And...you DON"T!! IF...and I do mean IF, you have extra money lying around, Pray and ask God what HE wants you to do with it. If nothing else, Food Cupboards (where the poor can get free food) ALWAYS have a need for more food.
Your brother and sister need JESUS, not money for their addictions. They need deliverance. Pray. Fast and seek the Lord. DECLARE them saved in the name of Jesus Christ.
Maggie
Simply tell them you do not have money for that. And...you DON"T!! IF...and I do mean IF, you have extra money lying around, Pray and ask God what HE wants you to do with it. If nothing else, Food Cupboards (where the poor can get free food) ALWAYS have a need for more food.
Your brother and sister need JESUS, not money for their addictions. They need deliverance. Pray. Fast and seek the Lord. DECLARE them saved in the name of Jesus Christ.
Maggie
U
My wife has both written and taught self-esteem courses for and at a shelter for women in my city whose husbands were abusive alcoholics or drug addicts ......or very often both. There is not one book or study that she has read or partook in in the last 28 years that I also have not read and examined with her. Not one. I have more than one recovered alcoholic and/or drug addict as a personal friend in my life.
Just because your wife may have wrote a couple books for a shelter,(writing self-esteem books is quite a bit different then being in the mix and working directly with the addicts for 8-10 hrs. a day.) and just because you may have a couple friends that have recovered from addictions, does not mean you know anything about being a counselor/advisor to an addict or someone dealing with an addiction.
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U
Your manner of response indicates to me (I won't venture to speak for anybody else here) that it's not necessarily a bad thing that you're no longer in the business of being a counsellor/advisor. Sorry Avinu. It is what it is. Furthermore, it might not hurt you to see the "other side" of the situation we've been discussing. The real-life victims ..... those on the receiving end of their abusers ..... almost certainly always the women and children. How many of them have you counselled to stay in a situation where their livelihood isn't deemed as important as the men you've tried to help ?
I love it when someone speaks in ignorance and thinks they know something about someone. Your lack of attention to what was written, not to mention if she listens to you, she'll just run out and leave him and start her life over. Because that is what you would do clearly. But God is in the habit of healing and restoration, not bailing, thank God He's in control and not you. As to your comment of whether I'm still doing this or not, just shows how much your maturity level lacks, and also shows how much you don't know about what it takes in patience. love and dedication to saving not only the addict but the whole family. So I'm really glad you don't do this for a living.
M
Pray, pray pray. Pray for him, pray for her and pray for wisdom for yourself to do his will.
Also be a friend to them and love them. If you can afford to lend them money than do. I don't think that you should stop doing a good deed in fear that it will cause someone else to sin. You Christian influence might be the only chance they have of turning their life around.
Maybe one day he might get clean and come to you and ask, why did you continue to help us when everyone else turned us away?
Also be a friend to them and love them. If you can afford to lend them money than do. I don't think that you should stop doing a good deed in fear that it will cause someone else to sin. You Christian influence might be the only chance they have of turning their life around.
Maybe one day he might get clean and come to you and ask, why did you continue to help us when everyone else turned us away?
A
Pray and spend time with them doing things besides drugs.
I would not give money as many have stated but things if they need it. Personally inviting them for dinner if they are hungry and talking to them and spending the time with them might do more good then giving them either things or money.
Often people get into drugs because they are searching for something lacking in their lives or running away from something that they don't feel like they can handle.
If you can help them admit that they have a problem and find the root of why they started abusing drugs in the first place. You may find ways to help them handle the issues by giving them the tools and perceptive needed to see past their issues and look towards the future.
Remind them not only of YOUR love but God's love and that He has a purpose for them. That they are better than the drugs and that they need not cripple themselves by using them. Encourage them to see their strengths and give them hope for the future and confidence in themselves and that they can help others and themselves to overcome with the help of the Holy Spirit. Remind them they are never alone, that God is with them and it is never too late to say your sorry and start again.
Remind them of God's forgiveness and His love and show them a future that does not have drugs. Find out what their dreams are or were. What they wanted to do with their lives and show them how doing drugs is Satan's way of keeping them for doing what God meant for them to do.
that the spiritual battle starts in the mind and God is able to change people, all it takes is faith.
Sometimes you can't say it all out loud but if you pray and keep it in your mind it is revealed in your actions and how you interact with them. Try to have your thoughts under control and keep hope and faith alive for them. Pray and trust that God can change the situation. Listen and do what God leads you to do. Speak when you can in hope and love and faith that they will overcome the temptations and stumbling blocks the Enemy has set before them to keep them from doing what God wills for them to do. Help them get up, repent and move forward.
One more thing. If your brother in law is doing drugs, your sister might be too. So you should pray for them both and for any children they might have.
Pray and do as the Holy Spirit leads you to do. It may change depending on the time and situation. that is why we should be in continual prayer and take the time to pray before acting or speaking.
I would not give money as many have stated but things if they need it. Personally inviting them for dinner if they are hungry and talking to them and spending the time with them might do more good then giving them either things or money.
Often people get into drugs because they are searching for something lacking in their lives or running away from something that they don't feel like they can handle.
If you can help them admit that they have a problem and find the root of why they started abusing drugs in the first place. You may find ways to help them handle the issues by giving them the tools and perceptive needed to see past their issues and look towards the future.
Remind them not only of YOUR love but God's love and that He has a purpose for them. That they are better than the drugs and that they need not cripple themselves by using them. Encourage them to see their strengths and give them hope for the future and confidence in themselves and that they can help others and themselves to overcome with the help of the Holy Spirit. Remind them they are never alone, that God is with them and it is never too late to say your sorry and start again.
Remind them of God's forgiveness and His love and show them a future that does not have drugs. Find out what their dreams are or were. What they wanted to do with their lives and show them how doing drugs is Satan's way of keeping them for doing what God meant for them to do.
that the spiritual battle starts in the mind and God is able to change people, all it takes is faith.
Sometimes you can't say it all out loud but if you pray and keep it in your mind it is revealed in your actions and how you interact with them. Try to have your thoughts under control and keep hope and faith alive for them. Pray and trust that God can change the situation. Listen and do what God leads you to do. Speak when you can in hope and love and faith that they will overcome the temptations and stumbling blocks the Enemy has set before them to keep them from doing what God wills for them to do. Help them get up, repent and move forward.
One more thing. If your brother in law is doing drugs, your sister might be too. So you should pray for them both and for any children they might have.
Pray and do as the Holy Spirit leads you to do. It may change depending on the time and situation. that is why we should be in continual prayer and take the time to pray before acting or speaking.
U
Why would you love it when someone speaks in ignorance ? Don't answer that. I'll address what is and should be self-evident to anybody that has read this thread, one or two people notwithstanding. Restoration of the family is always the prayer, hope and desire ....... period. Why anybody would think one thought otherwise, particularly on a Christian forum is beyond me. What is elementary and obvious to most apparently isn't to all. If this statement offends one or two here, they've earned it. "IF" a husband is a drug user or an alcoholic and their addiction is such that their wife must beg, borrow or plead from family members for money to pay their bills and feed their children, it is long past time to act. Implying that a wife (and children) remain in a situation such as this is anything but "Godly". Frankly, it is the opposite. I'm done here.