Feeling A Bit Out Of Touch

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38blues

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I would be very grateful to read anyone's opinion on whether or not it's a good idea for men to be opening doors for women anymore. I'm now 38, and I was raised, (particularly by my mother), to treat women with respect, and that "gentlemen" do things like hold open doors for women, pull out their seats for them, and generally, put them before yourself. I'm really glad for this, because I know at least my heart is in the right place, but recently I've held open the door for a few women that didn't seem too happy with my philosophy. I really think I offended them. I feel terrible about it and I'm really confused. Thanks.
 
For men to serve one another is one of the callings we are given. Yes.
 
some people get offended by anything. Some people take compliments offensively. Some women think your looking down at them while your doing something generous or kind towards them. I can't say exactly but don't let a few sour grapes ruin your day. It is impossible at the end of the day to make everyone happy. It could be anything varying by there mood to there pride. don't let it get you down I think your doing a great job.
 
Agreed. Christlike behaviour is your focus not approval of men(women)
 
Well I think it's great! The world needs more people like you. What's wrong with a dollop of good old fashioned manners anyway? Keep it up.
 
I'm not after approval, I just don't want to do something offensive. It seems to have created an awkward situation at work that seems to go on and on. For some reason I feel like a creep. It has been a learning experience though. Thanks.
 
So these are reoccurring people? If you seem to be offending them by nice gestures then I would just stop them. You can't force niceness onto someone, and if they see it as offensive then it defeats the purpose!
 
It's not reoccurring as in I keep opening the door for them. It's more like I've done what I always do, but suddenly what was a good thing seems to be taken by others as offensive I guess. It's awkward at work because I run into this one woman in particular quite a bit. I feel like I should say something to her but I don't know what. I really don't want to make things worse if I can avoid it. To be honest I've still got a lot to learn about interacting with others. I've been saved a long time, but I've only recently been trying to break through my shell. In the past if something like this happened I would have just gotten frustrated and a bit bitter and reasoned that, that's why I keep to myself, and just left it at that. All I know is that you do that long enough, you'll notice that it's making others uncomfortable around you, and that slowly, but surely it's killing you. I was just trying to get the focus off myself, and get some others' points of view to help in this situation.
 
if you feel you offended someone you can try to make it right. tell them you didn't mean any ill intent. if they get mad after that then there just a baby. Its not your job to succeed its your job to make the effort. some people are always negative but maybe it could be a misunderstanding. working something out if possible is the best thing to do
 
honestly, I expect guys to hold open doors for me and let me go first.
it isn't because I am snooty or anything, it is because I believe in manners.
I go out of my way sometimes to hold doors open for people, because it is simple a nice thing to do for anyone and shows respect.
 
I think is a great gesture and i admire that :) , but like you said ...it depends of everybody's culture and the way they were raised... and idk why but some women could take that as an offensee to their pride , despite you're doing it with great intentionss maybe you should just stop doing it or make them clear you're only trying to be respectful
And by the way, we need more men like you in this world lol
 
Thanks all. I'll keep your replies in mind when I go back to work tomorrow.
 
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