C
CeeCee27
Guest
At the moment, I'm feeling a little discouraged about my marital situation. I've been married for two years, and it was been very rocky. My husband and I just recently went through a very serious situation, where he spent approximately three weeks in jail for DV. In this time, I prayed constantly for God to heal both he and I from the hurt that we were both feeling. I prayed for change in my husband (he has never really been "of God"). I prayed for healing and restoration in our marriage. When he was released, he went to his parents (who have been against our marriage from the beginning, when my husband chose to put me & our family above and before their needs, as the Bible states for him to do). We didn't talk for days, but I still prayed, constantly. He had been out of jail for about 5 days before we saw one another this past Monday. We met at our house for a Bible study and prayer session. We didnt really talk much about our marriage, however we did pray and read our Bibles together and discuss what we read. We spent about three hours together, and once the prayer session ended, we sat on the couch just holding each other. Toward the end of this encounter, I noticed his mood had changed. He didnt really say what was bothering him, just that he was enjoying the moment. I didn't hear from him the next day until later that night when he text me and told me that he wanted to end our marriage. I immediately fell into tears, as I felt that everything that I had been praying for and hoping for was now ending. I asked him to meet me at our home. He was very reluctant at first, but eventually agreed. While there, he held me as I wept, for what seemed like forever. Finally, we were able to talk. He told me that he loved me, his desire was to spend his life with me, and that he didnt want to divorce me, but that he felt he had no other choice because he had to look out for him. He continued by saying that if he chooses to stay married to me and it doesnt work out that he will have no one, and that his parents have told him that he either divorces me or they will disown him. I proceeded to tell him that my desire is not to hurt him and that while i realized he was struggling with issues in the past (which caused him to have exceptional anger) that since I have been praying and asking God to change my heart and his, I have noticed the humbleness that he now has, and that I believe that God will make a way for us, especially if we place him at the head of our lives and follow his word (things we never did before in our marriage). He told me that he saw a change in me and that he believed that I was truly changing into a better person and that he wanted to allow me the opportunity to manifest that change in our marriage. He then told me of the things that hurt him and the things that he feared, the "what ifs" that he feared would come to light if we stayed married. I told him that the devil wants to use those worries, those fears against him because of his desire in his heart to remain married and fulfill his commitment to me and God, and that if he just has faith and commits to God and follows God's word that he will have nothing to worry about. God will subside all of these things. He seemed to understand and be willing to take a chance at turning our marriage around. Seeking God in a more pure, sincere way. We parted ways after about an hour. However, I have not heard from him since. I've attempted to email, text, call..and nothing. It's like he's shut me out, again. I've continued to pray and ask God to work on him and with him thru these struggles so that our marriage can be restored correctly. I feel discouraged because I know that everyone around him, his parents especially are encouraging him to divorce, and are even using threats to make him do as they say. I feel for my husband, as he grew up in a home where his parents NEVER told or showed love to him. He has never been told I love you from his parents while a child, and he grew up watching them live in a dysfunctional marriage full of lies, adultery, selfishness, etc. I know God has been listening to me. I know that He has heard my cries and prayers. I have faith that He will fix my marriage, and my husband. I have faith that He will answer my prayers. However, I have worry that my husband will choose to divorce me. Or that he will not seek God as I have asked him to, either thru prayer, fasting, reading the Bible. I'm afraid to lose my husband because I love him with all of my heart, and thru prayer and gettign closer to God, I have learned how to love him in better ways than I was in the past. I have learned how to deal with him a lot better because God has shown me the hurt that he is filled with. But still, I am deeply concerned that my marriage will end, and it's not what I want because I know it is not what God desires. I know that he hates divorce and the he never wishes for a couple to divorce, unless there is adultery, of which there has been none. I've prayed and prayed and prayed. Day in and day out. All night. Yet, I still find myself plagued with uneasiness, anxiety, doubt.
If anyone can offer any type of advice, prayer, suggestion, Bible verses.. just anything that will help me to get thru this and not lose sight of God, not lose sight of hope, I would greatly appreciate it. I have no one that I can turn to because everyone is against my marriage. Everyone wants me to leave him, and it's something that I refuse to do. I apologize if this is rather long (I'm new).
If anyone can offer any type of advice, prayer, suggestion, Bible verses.. just anything that will help me to get thru this and not lose sight of God, not lose sight of hope, I would greatly appreciate it. I have no one that I can turn to because everyone is against my marriage. Everyone wants me to leave him, and it's something that I refuse to do. I apologize if this is rather long (I'm new).
its never too late. Are you saved though? Because reading and praying is great but you need to make sure you are in a salvation, repentant relationship with Jesus Christ?
