John 3:17 "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."
We have all made poor decisions and failed God and we all will continue to do so. I have often struggled with turning away from God because I am ashamed and this is the absolute wrong way to go. I don't deserve grace, I don't deserve God's love and for me it is very hard to accept those things freely. I want to earn grace and love and forgiveness, but what I have to remind myself is that even if I could earn them it would be taking away for God's gift to us. We must turn to him when we make mistakes and accept His love and forgiveness otherwise we will still be living apart from God. I know it is hard but give your sins over to God accept His gift and then He can start healing you and molding you into the person He made you to be. We can't do it on our own.