Feeling like a failure every day of my life

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Apr 17, 2018
62
40
18
#1
Background info I was bullied from the age of 12 up until I graduated college. I never had any real friends and the only real friends I had used me for money or to get close to my goal older sister. I was even bullied by my teacher in high school who refused to teach me Algebra I told me I was too stupid to go to college. So when I went to college I majored in something I didn't want to do completely unaware I would only make $10 an hour with my degree. Now it's 30 I am 200 lb, I spent two tens of thousands of dollars in my twenties trying to lose the weight only to lose fat weight and gain it back. I have depression, PTSD and anxiety from the bullying and the abusive relationships I was in. more than life itself I want to go back to college to be an ultrasound technician, get married and never have children. I want to get my weight under control. I hate living with my parents because I feel like I'm eternally in high school. And it doesn't help that I have a really disrespectful cousin makes it a point every time I see her to point out how fat and unattractive I am. I worked 50 hours a week to get my early childhood education degree it took four years for my two year degree My degree isn't worth the paper it's printed on. I plan on going back to school in the fall to be an ultrasound technician and like I should have done when I was 18. I'm just praying to God in heaven that I can pass all my classes because I need to get A's in every single class to qualify for the program. Please pray for me I really need it I just want to stop feeling like a failure. my job at a call center so stressful I've ended up in the hospital with three manic seizures in one day. God all I want is to be an ultrasound technician I've given up on being married after the abuse my last boyfriend put me through but I don't want to go to rest of my life feeling like a loser. he would tell me everyday that I was fat and worthless. He would take me to parties flirt with other women and tell me this is what I need to look like to be attracted to him. I've never in my life had a good romantic relationship I'm fine being single the rest of my life but what I'm not fine with is not being able to support myself. I'm begging everyone out there or just pray that I get A's and all my classes and that I can afford my classes I'm tired of feeling like crap about myself and therapy doesn't help. I know if I go back to school and become an ultrasound technician I'll have more confidence in myself. Please everyone pray for me I wouldn't ask if it wasn't dire. thank you and God bless
 

mar09

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2014
4,927
1,259
113
#3
SM, i will only say that God loves you, and i'm sure even if others cannot all reply or Like, someone is still praying for you. Sorry, i havent even got to know u in your posts, but do remember usernames and personalities when i'm about, when travelling or doing not very demanding work. May God grant the desires of your heart, even as u be faithful to Him. As i said i havent read much, but have u tried reaching out to homeless children, for example, such that u focus on others' needs too and not just yourself, or tried a regular walk too? The latter doesnt seem much, but when done daily, you may see a change in your routine, want to be more active, and start w/ a few less lbs than staying where u are. Some say even a glass of water before meals helps reduce the appetite. Sometimes it may be the little steps we take that matter, not necessarily the expensive moves. But praying for your plan to be a u/z technician. God bless.
 
T

theanointedsinner

Guest
#4
sometimes, we don't act like ourselves, but that's always repentable, because when Jesus died for you, God doesn't see you as failure, he see Jesus when he saw you. The moment you are saved.
 
Jun 18, 2013
820
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#5
Lord we pray for SundayMorning88, help him to come out of the low that he is in. Encourage him that God loves him. Help him to live a fuller life. In thy precious name.Amen.
 

levi85

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2013
8,578
2,182
113
#6
Lord we bring this prayer to you, please bless Sundaymorning88, and this prayer. In Jesus loving name, Amen!
 

Rosemaryx

Senior Member
May 3, 2017
3,757
4,120
113
63
#7
1 Samuel 16:7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." ...:)...

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

Keep your eyes on Jesus , keep in the word , the word will keep you , the word will feed you , the word is the truth and the truth will set you free...xox...
 
Jun 26, 2018
28
29
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#8
I'm here if you need a friend. I know the feeling.
 

HeavenHearMe

Senior Member
Dec 11, 2016
219
36
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#9
Greater is he in you than he who is of this world. God help them to keep there eyes on you. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
 

Mayflowe

Junior Member
Oct 6, 2016
68
29
18
#10
Background info I was bullied from the age of 12 up until I graduated college. I never had any real friends and the only real friends I had used me for money or to get close to my goal older sister. I was even bullied by my teacher in high school who refused to teach me Algebra I told me I was too stupid to go to college. So when I went to college I majored in something I didn't want to do completely unaware I would only make $10 an hour with my degree. Now it's 30 I am 200 lb, I spent two tens of thousands of dollars in my twenties trying to lose the weight only to lose fat weight and gain it back. I have depression, PTSD and anxiety from the bullying and the abusive relationships I was in. more than life itself I want to go back to college to be an ultrasound technician, get married and never have children. I want to get my weight under control. I hate living with my parents because I feel like I'm eternally in high school. And it doesn't help that I have a really disrespectful cousin makes it a point every time I see her to point out how fat and unattractive I am. I worked 50 hours a week to get my early childhood education degree it took four years for my two year degree My degree isn't worth the paper it's printed on. I plan on going back to school in the fall to be an ultrasound technician and like I should have done when I was 18. I'm just praying to God in heaven that I can pass all my classes because I need to get A's in every single class to qualify for the program. Please pray for me I really need it I just want to stop feeling like a failure. my job at a call center so stressful I've ended up in the hospital with three manic seizures in one day. God all I want is to be an ultrasound technician I've given up on being married after the abuse my last boyfriend put me through but I don't want to go to rest of my life feeling like a loser. he would tell me everyday that I was fat and worthless. He would take me to parties flirt with other women and tell me this is what I need to look like to be attracted to him. I've never in my life had a good romantic relationship I'm fine being single the rest of my life but what I'm not fine with is not being able to support myself. I'm begging everyone out there or just pray that I get A's and all my classes and that I can afford my classes I'm tired of feeling like crap about myself and therapy doesn't help. I know if I go back to school and become an ultrasound technician I'll have more confidence in myself. Please everyone pray for me I wouldn't ask if it wasn't dire. thank you and God bless

It seems to me that the enemy has really been trying to sow a seed by lying to you so you feel down about yourself, the creature God planned personally and created a.m.a.z.i.n.g.l.y (Psalm 139) but what I see is a list of all the things which you have overcome, are overcoming and will overcome! It reminds me of Hebrews 11. The Lord has clearly made you a strong person. Please continue to have the faith which you have demonstrated by seeking God in prayer as you obviously know He is able. He will rewrite your story (your tests will become your testimony). I pray that God will provide you with His strength, encouragement and healing, undertake to provide everything you need for your college and career and that what the enemy meant for evil, God will use for good! Amen,