Finding the right kind of guy

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madisen_thomas

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I have been having a hard time trying to find the "right kind of guy that i should be looking for, and I don't want to talk to or date a guy that doesn't go to church and know god, but it;s like there are hardly any guys like that anymore... HELP!
 
One of the reasons I joined this site when I was your age: to alleviate the depression wrought by the fact that there no Christian people of the opposite sex to daydream about.

Furthermore, I was living in NY. You are (as par your profile) currently in IL. Doesn't sound like one would have strong prospects there either.

The good news: there are places you can go to college in which there are nothing but Christians and men will fall over each other to ask you out because they wish to be married at the close of Senior year. I go to a school like this.

More biblically, you never know what God sends your way. I can think of hopeless situations in which God provided for my needs. He'll find a way here...if you need it. There's another question.

Also, you're 15. There is no rush. Heck, I'm 22 and I still think there is no rush.
 
Seriously, you're only 15. Your best bet is to forget about dating. The end goal of dating is marriage, and 99% of relationships that start in the teens never last out of the teens. So really, all you're doing is setting yourself up to keep getting dumped, or have to dump another, creating a chain of pain and heartbreak in your life, at an early age. Save yourself that hurt and don't worry about guys til you're old enough to marry one. And even then that doesn't mean you'll be ready.
 
hahaha, i know there is no rush! and you are right in what you say, i just want to not get in a huge serious relationship but start dating to hopefully in the future find the right person god has for me, if that made any sense at all haha
 
In regards to another thread and topic.
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In my experience, you can spend your life trying to force it to happen (By obsessively focusing on the way you look, by trying to date as much as possible, trying to impress the opposite sex constantly- I did all these things), but at the end of the day, God just brings the right person into your life in His own timing. And anything you tried to do outside of His will just ends up being baggage in your life. The only question is whether or not you have enough faith to believe that He will provide your spouse when He says you're ready.

When I finally met the right girl, the sign was that we were equally yoked. I had spent my time trying to be cool in a worldly way (I just thought all girls liked that, even Christian girls.. I was wrong.. though alot of them do like worldly 'coolness', there are actually Christians girls out there who want guys who are totally serious about their faith). The girl I met was serious about her Christianity and the first times we spoke that is what I remember about her.. I just remember thinking "Wow, this girl is serious... If only I could end up with a girl who is this serious about her faith" and that's how I knew she was a keeper. So my advice is to take your walk with God as serious as possible, live pure, be modest... When the timing is right, God will bring a man into your path who sees those things and values them because they are SO rare. Any Christian guy on here would agree that a modest girl who loves her Bible is a rare catch.
 
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Your time will come. :) I don't wanna tell you that you're too young to be worried about it, but I do wanna tell you that you shouldn't worry about it .
Dating will not make your life wonderful or easier or more complete. God makes your life complete. That doesn't mean you won't ever feel like you need someone else besides you because we are humans, we like company, we like to be understood and loved. That's normal. But don't waste your time looking for the right guy, it is more fruitful to spend your time trying to be become the right person for your future spouse. And even if that person takes years to show up, you will feel more satisfied with you and God when you are working on yourself.

I'm 20 years old, and I've never been in a relationship. Believe me, being single is not a curse. There are times when I do wonder if I will ever find my flawed prince in spiritual shining armor. I think I will, but right now I know that it's probably not the right timing, and then...I don't really feel in such a rush to find him. There are good guys over there , don't worry :) get involved in the right places, and you will find the right guy eventually.
 
If any women here on CC want to find Mr. Right, just type my address into your GPS, and you'll be set. But since there are so many women clamoring after me, your GPS might tell you there's "Traffic Ahead" in which case you should change your destination.
 
madisen_thomas said:
hahaha, i know there is no rush! and you are right in what you say, i just want to not get in a huge serious relationship but start dating to hopefully in the future find the right person god has for me, if that made any sense at all haha
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No, it doesn't make sense. People generally date to get into serious relationships, and eventually marry. So are you going to go around telling guys, 'i want to date, but not be serious'? Because you'll need to inform guys of that if that's your intent. And likely, if you do say that, you won't get many interested in you. Most of those who would accept that would likely just be doing it to get you in bed.
Again, very few teen relationships end in marriage, its mostly just heartbreak. So whats the point in your dating at all then?
Also, how can you guarantee you won't develop strong feelings for someone? Do you know how hard it is to be close to someone in a relationship without feelings developing and getting stronger over time? Its easy to say 'i don't want a serious relationship' but its another thing to follow through with it.

And if you're talking about going on dates, well, what is the point of that? To find someone to enter into a serious relationship. So, still, either way, the end goal is the same, and its not worth the risks at your age vs the chance anything will come of it.
 
Get so hidden in Christ a man must go through Hom to find you! Longer wait , but certainly worth it :).
 
Tintin said:
Good advice for girls, but who is Hom?
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Sounds like some sort of Master Boss of the Dating Realm that men must conquer whilst wielding a sword. ;)

In all seriousness though, I understand the feeling of "There is no one out there!" I live in IL right now, too, though I know that feeling can happen anywhere (I just get a little excited when people are in the same state as me). I even went to a Christian university. Nothing can make you feel so hopeless as when you graduate from a campus full of Christians without still having been asked on a date. :p

Let me ask you this, though: How long do you think someone should date before they get married? One year? Two? Are you ready to get married in two years? At 15, I don't think so. In high school at all, I'd generally say "I don't think so".

For me, wanting a boyfriend when I was in highschool was more a longing of validation more than actually wanting to get married. That feeling can be dangerous, so I'd encourage you to spend this time seeking and getting to know God. :)
 
Whelp, I guess I'll write a little story here.

I met a girl online from a game that I play. It's a text based fantasy game, no graphics whatsoever. It's pretty "old school" as some may call it, however I find that term rather irrelevant.

Anyway, to get back to the story, we got pretty close, but I couldn't get past the fact that she wasn't a Christian and considered herself a Jew (not messianic) simply because her ancesters were Jews. We were pretty close and I believe we wanted more than friendship, however I couldn't let it as she was a Christian. I kept on being urged by some presence, most likely the lord to not go further than friendship simply due to the fact that we'd be unequally yoked.

Just recently, she started dating a guy she knew from high school. I'm happy for her, but I ask myself "what if" but remind myself that she wasn't a Christian and I couldn't sacrifice that aspect of my life for her. I'll find some someone someday if it's God's will. If I don't, I know that's his will also.
 
StephenH said:
Whelp, I guess I'll write a little story here.

I met a girl online from a game that I play. It's a text based fantasy game, no graphics whatsoever. It's pretty "old school" as some may call it, however I find that term rather irrelevant.

Anyway, to get back to the story, we got pretty close, but I couldn't get past the fact that she wasn't a Christian and considered herself a Jew (not messianic) simply because her ancesters were Jews. We were pretty close and I believe we wanted more than friendship, however I couldn't let it as she was a Christian. I kept on being urged by some presence, most likely the lord to not go further than friendship simply due to the fact that we'd be unequally yoked.

Just recently, she started dating a guy she knew from high school. I'm happy for her, but I ask myself "what if" but remind myself that she wasn't a Christian and I couldn't sacrifice that aspect of my life for her. I'll find some someone someday if it's God's will. If I don't, I know that's his will also.
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You did the right thing- and when you do meet the right girl you will thank God that you didn't miss out by being with someone you were not equally yoked too.

Something similar happened to me, we were even planing to meet up in real life, but she was not a Christian.. She believed that God didn't create humans but rather we simply evolved. I knew I couldn't be with someone who believed that. She always just showed signs of loving the world and worldliness (to be fair I showed signs of that too at the time) and I experienced exactly what you described which was "being urged by a presence" to walk away... I now know that it was the Holy Spirit helping me and God was just nudging me in the correct direction - but it was still my choice as to what I was going to do. So I ended up walking away and just not spending anymore time with her or that group of people and looking back it was one of the best decisions of my life... I thank God I walked away because my life might look terribly different today if I stayed.

It wasn't long after (within months) when God bought someone into my life who I am totally equally yoked with, and that was a sign that she was the one I should go for.. We are completely equally yoked.. Whenever we discuss a Bible issue we either agree or if we are not sure, we just go to the scriptures until we can agree on what the truth is or both just say "we're not sure".

Being equally yoked is critical if you want your relationship to work long term. If you just want temporary validation and to feel good for a little while before ending in heartbreak, just go with anyone, but if you want a fantastic foundation for a marriage, wait until God pairs you with someone you are equally yoked too.
 
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I'm hoping that that someone will come into my life soon. It hurt to go ahead and let her go then, but as I said, we weren't equally yoked, plus I didn't really trust her completely. We still talk occasionally and are friends, but that's about it.

It wasn't part of God's plan for my life and I had to trust in that.

At any rate... On to searchin' the forum. :)

ChristianGuy0 said:
You did the right thing- and when you do meet the right girl you will thank God that you didn't miss out by being with someone you were not equally yoked too.

Something similar happened to me, we were even planing to meet up in real life, but she was not a Christian.. She believed that God didn't create humans but rather we simply evolved. I knew I couldn't be with someone who believed that. She always just showed signs of loving the world and worldliness (to be fair I showed signs of that too at the time) and I experienced exactly what you described which was "being urged by a presence" to walk away... I now know that it was the Holy Spirit helping me and God was just nudging me in the correct direction - but it was still my choice as to what I was going to do. So I ended up walking away and just not spending anymore time with her or that group of people and looking back it was one of the best decisions of my life... I thank God I walked away because my life might look terribly different today if I stayed.

It wasn't long after (within months) when God bought someone into my life who I am totally equally yoked with, and that was a sign that she was the one I should go for.. We are completely equally yoked.. Whenever we discuss a Bible issue we either agree or if we are not sure, we just go to the scriptures until we can agree on what the truth is or both just say "we're not sure".

Being equally yoked is critical if you want your relationship to work long term. If you just want temporary validation and to feel good for a little while before ending in heartbreak, just go with anyone, but if you want a fantastic foundation for a marriage, wait until God pairs you with someone you are equally yoked too.
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Yea, I struggle with that a lot trying find the 'right princess', lol, but in situations like this you just have look up towards God and ask him :) and maybe he might provide the 'mr right'

Luke 11:9
Hope this helps :)
 
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