Flirting or Friendly

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Lavenda

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I am serious about my relationship with God. I also Adore learning about people, which requires we get to know them. It has just been made aware to me that an old friend thought I liked him all these years and became distant. Because He didn't want to lead me on. I mean really? I am not looking to date, Friends is all I seek. this would also explain why guy friends have been trying to ask me out on dates. Can someone please tell me what is going on?
 
The male is alive to wanting to mate period it s a drive in the male. Also in the female as well. And so you are going to be asked out. Just be honest up front you are not looking for a boyfriend or a Husband. You are more interseted in friends than anything else and by this you are seperating truth from error. Cutting out the hormones from being in the way. and if the man believes the same you will know by the reaction of the man. And maybe this one that distanted himself is maybe this type of man that wants only friendship also.
 
I agree with Homward. Just be honest with your friend and tell him you're only interested in friendship.
 
You have to be careful when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex. I understand what you're talking about though. It seems like men have very fragile egos, so they compensate by thinking women who are friendly are into them. Not all men, but it seems to me that most are like that. It goes both ways. Some men are very kind to women, and then those women assume the guy likes them. It's human nature. We want to be loved and worshiped. Be careful and mindful of how you speak to someone. You don't want to lead anyone on.
 
Who knows, maybe the men just want a date, and you are attractive. Maybe it has nothing to do with what you're doing.
Or maybe its your body language. People are not aware of their own body language often, and can sometimes send out signals that may not be their intentions.
Or are you a 'touchy' person? Many people take touching as an expression of attraction.
Could be any number of reasons for this.
 
Thanks. I am pretty social and I will usually touch a persons arm if I am speaking to them. I am also playful. I thought I was just being silly. With this one friend I just found it weird. He invited me to all his families events, holidays, concerts. I considered us great friends because I never saw any attraction to him, so this caught me off guard. I received this information in an email yesterday. I do thank you for the advice, because I may not be aware of how I come across. God is teaching me to treat all people the same and love them. I am learning what a friend actually is and I truly seek to be this to who ever is in my life. My best friends appreciate it and one day, my husband will too.
 
DuchessAimee said:
You have to be careful when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex. I understand what you're talking about though. It seems like men have very fragile egos, so they compensate by thinking women who are friendly are into them. Not all men, but it seems to me that most are like that. It goes both ways. Some men are very kind to women, and then those women assume the guy likes them. It's human nature. We want to be loved and worshiped. Be careful and mindful of how you speak to someone. You don't want to lead anyone on.
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We want to be loved and worshipped?

That's idolatry.

If a women is friendly to me I don't think a lot into it. Some just are and I tread carefully. For every women that is friendly there's about another four that aren't. A bit like the female to male ratio in some places.
 
Lavenda said:
Thanks. I am pretty social and I will usually touch a persons arm if I am speaking to them. I am also playful. I thought I was just being silly. With this one friend I just found it weird. He invited me to all his families events, holidays, concerts. I considered us great friends because I never saw any attraction to him, so this caught me off guard. I received this information in an email yesterday. I do thank you for the advice, because I may not be aware of how I come across. God is teaching me to treat all people the same and love them. I am learning what a friend actually is and I truly seek to be this to who ever is in my life. My best friends appreciate it and one day, my husband will too.
Click to expand...

I think this might explain it somewhat, these behaviours I think could be misconstrued as you being into someone.

I think playful, silly, and physical touch will come across to a lot of guys as interest. :) Even though it's just the way you are. Hmmm... I think being letting them know could be helpful. Even though it's hard, you could like drop hints that you aren't interested and such. Talk to them if you need to.
 
When this stuff happens its hard too not hurt there feelings because maybe they sincerely like you but like they say we cant go for every guy we meet thats just crazy not everyone is meant too be our significant other. We have too be carefull breaking there hearts i had a situation like this where i only like guy as a friend but he just wouldnt give up lol but i had too tlel him nicelly and he never got the hint :p
 
I'm very sociable as well. My wife is much less so. She has sometimes suggested that I'm sending the wrong signal when I'm being nice to women (shoveling a single ladies driveway clear of snow, pruning a neighbors bushes, giving some neighbors valentine's candy, etc.). Okay, I may have gone too far with the valentine's candy. :) Anyway, I told her if they get the wrong signal because I'm being nice, that's their problem. I find it a bit disappointing that people are so paranoid they can't even show their love for one another. At the same time, I realize there are a lot of unstable people who get the wrong ideas. As others have stated, it's best to be careful. If someone crosses the line, tactfully set them straight.
 
I think people expect that we should all be robots or something, and show NO emotions at all! *eyeroll*
 
1. If a girl walks into a room I'm in... she obviously did it on purpose... I"m positive she's into me.
2. If a girl speaks to me... I"m positive she's into me.
3. If a girl actually looks right at me, with her eyes... I'm positive that she's into me.
4. If a girl stops talking to me... I know she's just overwhelmed with emotion... and I'm positive she's into me.

Lavenda, I would have to say, gauging from all of the above... that you are clearly just giving off the wrong signals.
Everything is OBVIOUSLY all your fault.
:)
 
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