FLIRTING POLL: harmless fun or serious intent

[blueorchidjd]

hahhaaha

 

[MarkMulder]

Over-complicate it for certain... it is mandatory you leave this thread as confused as I am.
Is flirting a matter of purity or is it playful social interaction?



maybe i scream flirt with me or something like that .. I perhaps exude flirtatious vibes

Not only the need to overcomplicate thing,
but also that the need to repeat yourself over and over again,
that's so typical for girls...


[yes you posted that twice]

 

[BananaPie]

hmmmm. i can't help but wonder whether there is 50 shades of flirting?

Well, what does "50 shades of flirting" mean?

We smoke, or we don't. We work, or we don't. We are tattooed, or we aren't. We consume alcohol, or we don't. We flirt, or we don't, right?

If we aren't flirting, then we're being PG friendly with the opposite gender. If we're nonchalantly being friendly, then that's no longer flirting, isn't it?

Here's another example.
People who "drink socially" are not dry: they consume alcohol. That's it.
You cannot really quantify "drinks socially" to 50 shades of consuming alcohol because each time, with each glass, alcohol is consumed. If you drink a whole bottle of Chardonnay once a year, then you're no longer "drinking socially," aren't ya? The Chardonnay would go insipid.

On the other hand, people who never consume alcohol can be quantified as dry: they don't consume alcohol.

Similarly, giving a PG compliment to someone is a far cry from actually flirting with someone we aren't married to nor engaged to. I can understand 50 shades of compliments and being peachy friendly with the brethren, but flirting requires crossing the line from "friendly compliment" to, well, coquette behavior.

I guess I only see 2 shades of chess pieces, but there are 50 ways to leave your lover.

 

[Fenner]

I think if you're intentionally flirting with someone knowing that it's not going to go any where, that's like leading a person on.
My Sister is a friendly out going person who is easy to talk to. My Grandma and Mom have called her a flirt, I think she's a friendly person, she doesn't intentionally set out to make someone feel like she's trying to flirt with them.

Maybe she has a flirty way about her, but if she does it's not intentional. I've never seen her go up to anyone and say, "Hey Handsome." But friendly yes, I'm friendly to, I don't think I give off a flirting vibe though because I'm quiet.

 

[rachelsedge]

Really, though, it depends on many things: how you define flirting, the intentions behind it, and the recipient's feelings on it.

 

[Jullianna]

Some people will take any sort of kidding around between genders as flirting. Some people think that talking to the opposite gender at all is flirting. Some people think that anytime someone flirts with you they are romantically interested in you. Clearly people have many different ideas as to what constitutes flirting and some can't handle it.

 

[djness]

I have serious fun when my intent is harmless.
Or I do serious harm when fun is my intent.

 

[just_monicat]

Well, what does "50 shades of flirting" mean?

We smoke, or we don't. We work, or we don't. We are tattooed, or we aren't. We consume alcohol, or we don't. We flirt, or we don't, right?

If we aren't flirting, then we're being PG friendly with the opposite gender. If we're nonchalantly being friendly, then that's no longer flirting, isn't it?

Here's another example.
People who "drink socially" are not dry: they consume alcohol. That's it.
You cannot really quantify "drinks socially" to 50 shades of consuming alcohol because each time, with each glass, alcohol is consumed. If you drink a whole bottle of Chardonnay once a year, then you're no longer "drinking socially," aren't ya? The Chardonnay would go insipid.

On the other hand, people who never consume alcohol can be quantified as dry: they don't consume alcohol.

Similarly, giving a PG compliment to someone is a far cry from actually flirting with someone we aren't married to nor engaged to. I can understand 50 shades of compliments and being peachy friendly with the brethren, but flirting requires crossing the line from "friendly compliment" to, well, coquette behavior.

I guess I only see 2 shades of chess pieces, but there are 50 ways to leave your lover.

Some people will take any sort of kidding around between genders as flirting. Some people think that talking to the opposite gender at all is flirting. Some people think that anytime someone flirts with you they are romantically interested in you. Clearly people have many different ideas as to what constitutes flirting and some can't handle it.

i agree with what jullianna said. there's what i intend for things to mean, the perceived intent of the receiver, and the perception of those who may witness such a thing.

what i do that is largely perceived as flirting by some is just me being fun, friendly and playful.

now that i think more about it, i probably label it "flirting" because others have. while there is no intent to imply anything more, i also am aware of the fact that plenty of people may observe it and possibly question it.

taking an interest in someone and engaging in some fun, playful banter is not inappropriate to me -- especially when it lacks any overt or implied sexuality.

also, i do take reasonable effort to make sure that i don't unintentionally imply more than what i actually mean.

at the end of the day, i have made the conclusion that because God didn't give me a quiet, inward personality, i don't think that i am more Christ-like by silencing my joyful enthusiasm.

 

[BananaPie]

Well, Monicat, your behavior around these cool forums & chatrooms have been consistently clean, frankly. You don't come across as a flirt at all.

 

[Tintin]

I think it's idiotic and disgusting that many men can't even contemplate the idea that men can be friends with women without becoming involved sexually. Kind of reinforces the stupid belief that women are sex-objects, not the invaluable people God them to be in His very image.

 

[just_monicat]

I think it's idiotic and disgusting that many men can't even contemplate the idea that men can be friends with women without becoming involved sexually. Kind of reinforces the stupid belief that women are sex-objects, not the invaluable people God them to be in His very image.

...and THAT right there is why we love our tintin!

 

[kayem77]

I've probably been labeled a flirt before, because I'm very talkative, even to strangers. I don't say things with the intention of implying attraction or anything, or anything sexual at all, but my friendliness can come across as something else to some people. It's very subjective really. But I do think that purposely flirting with anyone at all times can be foolish, because leading someone on can be very hurtful at the end. Especially if you know the other person has feelings for you.

If you are just being friendly or nice though, then you are just being friendly or nice.

 

[DarlinNadia]

What is the definition of flirting? Is everyone here considering it Sexual innuendos? I believe most people misunderstand the meaning of the word Flirt. It is meant to be harmless.

According to Merriam-Webster
[h=2][SUP]1[/SUP]flirt[/h] verb \ˈflərt\: to behave in a way that shows a sexual attraction for someone but is not meant to be taken seriously
: to think about something or become involved in something in a way that is usually not very serious
: to come close to reaching or experiencing something

[h=2]Full Definition of FLIRT[/h]intransitive verb
1
: to move erratically : flit

2
a : to behave amorously without serious intent
b : to show superficial or casual interest or liking <flirtedwith the idea>; also : experiment <a novelist flirting with poetry>

3
: to come close to reaching or experiencing something —used with with <flirting with disaster>

transitive verb
1
: flick

2
: to move in a jerky manner
— flir·ta·tion noun
— flirt·er noun
— flirty adjective

See flirt defined for English-language learners »

See flirt defined for kids »

[h=2]Examples of FLIRT[/h]

• They were flirting all night.
• <the servers at that restaurant flirt with all the customers>

[h=2]Origin of FLIRT[/h]origin unknownFirst Known Use: 1580


[h=2]Related to FLIRT[/h]Synonymscoquet (or coquette), dally, frivol, mess around, toy, trifleRelated Wordsvamp; court, mash, woo; josh, kid, put on, razz, rib,tease; fool, lead on, string along; manipulate, play (with)Near Antonymsfloat, hang, hover
more


See Synonym Discussion at trifle




[h=2][SUP]2[/SUP]flirt[/h] noun: a person who enjoys flirting with other people : a flirtatious person


[h=2]Full Definition of FLIRT[/h]1
: an act or instance of flirting

2
: a person who flirts

See flirt defined for English-language learners »

[h=2]Examples of FLIRT[/h]

• <he's just a harmless flirt, so don't take him seriously>

[h=2]First Known Use of FLIRT[/h]circa 1590

[h=2]Related to FLIRT[/h]Synonymsflirter, wantonRelated Wordscoquet; coquette, jade, soubrette; vamp

Reference: Flirt. (n.d.). Retrieved March 24, 2014, from Flirt - Definition and More from the Free Merriam-Webster Dictionary

 

[ji]

Flirting. Harmless fun or Serious Intent. I created a poll years ago and questioned randomly selected people to answer if Flirting was just harmless fun or if the Intent behind flirting is serious business. i was completely shocked at the results. Once there are some results, I'll share my findings previously.

Definitions:

Harmless Fun: This type of flirting is designed to lift someone's spirits - make them smile or feel good about themselves. There is nothing serious about it - it is only meant as a temporary uplift. This is often what Flirtatious people believe in as it doesn't mean you want to date or get together with the person but just to make them know they've got something desirable.

Serious Business: This type of flirting is reserved for people that you intend to flirt with a person as a way of indicating your interest in them. This is a means to an end flirting... This means that you would not flirt with someone unless you ultimately wanted to pursue something with them. No Flirt is made carelessly.


Please share your experiences... what you think flirting means or indicates ... and mis-read flirtations where people have taken your flirts in the completely wrong direction or assumed something was there that was not. Times when someone has been bent out of shape because of your ability to flirt and their lack of ability... or disdain for someone that is flirtation and seemingly doesn't protect their purity or lessens their intentions by careless flirting... What is your idea or opinion on flirting.

Harmless Fun: This type of flirting is designed to lift someone's spirits - make them smile or feel good about themselves. There is nothing serious about it - it is only meant as a temporary uplift. This is often what Flirtatious people believe in as it doesn't mean you want to date or get together with the person but just to make them know they've got something desirable. - that goes ok with me....that's the experience i look for nowadays,if it goes beyond i go poof..!!!

 

[ji]

I think it's idiotic and disgusting that many men can't even contemplate the idea that men can be friends with women without becoming involved sexually. Kind of reinforces the stupid belief that women are sex-objects, not the invaluable people God them to be in His very image.

right to the point,i like it

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

I tried responding to this earlier today, but i didn't have time. Anyways...

Flirting in general is harmful. It leads you to believe things that are not necessarily true. In my mind you can't trust those types of people, you never know if what you're hearing from them is real.


There's a guy at my church like this. He lays it on thick with all the girls in the church. A couple weeks ago I asked a couple of the women what was up with him and they all said basically the same thing, "oh he's just really friendly'' "Don't take him seriously'' ''That's just his personality''

No..... no to all of the above. That's just a lot of excuses for a lot of ridiculous. Someone could potentially get really hurt from his behavior.

Your best bet is to just stay away from the ''friendly'' ''personality'' ''not serious'' kind of people.

Just my opinion though.

 

[just_monicat]

I tried responding to this earlier today, but i didn't have time. Anyways...

Flirting in general is harmful. It leads you to believe things that are not necessarily true. In my mind you can't trust those types of people, you never know if what you're hearing from them is real.


There's a guy at my church like this. He lays it on thick with all the girls in the church. A couple weeks ago I asked a couple of the women what was up with him and they all said basically the same thing, "oh he's just really friendly'' "Don't take him seriously'' ''That's just his personality''

No..... no to all of the above. That's just a lot of excuses for a lot of ridiculous. Someone could potentially get really hurt from his behavior.

Your best bet is to just stay away from the ''friendly'' ''personality'' ''not serious'' kind of people.

Just my opinion though.

hmmmmmm... what do you think his intent his?

 

[Tintin]

I tried responding to this earlier today, but i didn't have time. Anyways...

Flirting in general is harmful. It leads you to believe things that are not necessarily true. In my mind you can't trust those types of people, you never know if what you're hearing from them is real.

There's a guy at my church like this. He lays it on thick with all the girls in the church. A couple weeks ago I asked a couple of the women what was up with him and they all said basically the same thing, "oh he's just really friendly'' "Don't take him seriously'' ''That's just his personality''

No..... no to all of the above. That's just a lot of excuses for a lot of ridiculous. Someone could potentially get really hurt from his behavior.

Your best bet is to just stay away from the ''friendly'' ''personality'' ''not serious'' kind of people.

Just my opinion though.

Yikes, I'm friendly but I'm not the least bit a playboy. I certainly don't chat up girls.

 

[kenthomas27]

I tried responding to this earlier today, but i didn't have time. Anyways...

Flirting in general is harmful. It leads you to believe things that are not necessarily true. In my mind you can't trust those types of people, you never know if what you're hearing from them is real.


There's a guy at my church like this. He lays it on thick with all the girls in the church. A couple weeks ago I asked a couple of the women what was up with him and they all said basically the same thing, "oh he's just really friendly'' "Don't take him seriously'' ''That's just his personality''

No..... no to all of the above. That's just a lot of excuses for a lot of ridiculous. Someone could potentially get really hurt from his behavior.

Your best bet is to just stay away from the ''friendly'' ''personality'' ''not serious'' kind of people.

Just my opinion though.

Yikes, I'm friendly but I'm not the least bit a playboy. I certainly don't chat up girls.

Yeah, I'm friendly AND I'm not serious. So.....that's like two things...



I don't have a personality though, so, there's that.

 

[todo]

For the most part I like just having fun and joking around with people. I enjoy the light-hearted conversation with people and it helps make everyones day a little happier.

The seriousness of it depends on the situation. I've been known to "flirt" (joke around and banter) with older men (talking 70-90's here) while their wife's are saying "oh you should say __." That is mostly to make everyone smile, have a good time, and helps get through a day of customer service. Then there are my guy friends, who i've known forever and feel like "one of the guys" I'm just giving everyone a hard time, making jokes, making witty remarks, and what i just see as 'hanging out with the guys'. This one gets me into the most amount of trouble because often intentions are misunderstood (going both ways) and makes things uncomfortable for a while. When it comes to someone I have feelings for, however, I normally make a fool of myself every time I say something, so I just dont.

Overall I think how people react to flirting depends on their personality. It is important to realize someone might get the wrong intent behind your actions and you must be able to handle/deal with that situation gracefully, kindly, and gently when it happens.

Just my thoughts