How do you forgive yourself?
Do you have a hard time forgiving someone in particular? Is it an enemy, or a loved one who repeatedly hurts you? Or is it yourself? I’ve often heard believers say, “I don’t hold anything against those who’ve wronged me, and I know Christ’s blood has covered all my sins, but I just can’t forgive myself.” Sometimes the most difficult person to pardon is oneself, but forgiveness is never complete until that has happened.
The issues that cause us shame and guilt are varied. Maybe you regret behavior that injured others or hurtful words that you said to a loved one. Perhaps a traumatic choice you’ve made, such as a divorce or an abortion, has filled your life with regret. Or maybe you’re carrying the heavy load of blame that accompanies harmful words or actions directed toward your children.
Hopefully, by now we all realize that struggling under self-condemnation is not the way God wants us to live. But how can we change this habit?
1. Acknowledge: The first step is to recognize that you have not forgiven yourself. Face up to this fact, and begin to deal with the issue.
2. Repent: Tell the Lord that you realize your self-condemnation is a sin. Then accept and thank Him for His forgiveness.
3. Believe God: Reaffirm your trust in the truth of Scripture. God says He has removed your transgressions as far as the east is from the west.
4. Choose Forgiveness: On the basis of the Bible, by an act of your will, in faith, choose to forgive yourself.
Please notice that feelings aren’t mentioned anywhere in these steps. Each one is a choice based on truth, not emotions. Stop replaying in your mind the old recording of your sin, which stirs up guilt, but instead replay the truths of God’s Word.
Freedom from the prison of guilt and regret is only a choice away. Jesus came to set the captives free (
Luke 4:18). As you take hold of His forgiveness and release your guilt, you’ll walk out of that jail of self-condemnation into the joy of abundant life.
