Friendships with Unrepentant Christians

[MsMediator]

Should you continue friendships with unrepentant Christians? I am thinking of one person in particular, who continues to have premarital sex with every guy she dates (and pretty early on in the relationship). She is otherwise a great person, goes to church, and is a caregiver. She works in customer service so I have witnessed her being a good worker. It will be very hard for her to practice abstinence until marriage. I feel I have the same conversation with her each time/every guy. Two people I know have discontinued friendship with her due to her lifestyle.

What about other situations as well? Such as a friend in an extramarital relationship, or someone who is unkind to a family member/friend, or someone involved in a scam business, etc.

 

[keepingthingsreal]

1Co 5:1
It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife.
1Co 5:2
And ye are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he that hath done this deed might be taken away from among you.
1Co 5:3
For I verily, as absent in body, but present in spirit, have judged already, as though I were present, concerning him that hath so done this deed,
1Co 5:4
In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when ye are gathered together, and my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ,
1Co 5:5
To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
1Co 5:6
Your glorying is not good. Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump?
1Co 5:7
Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened. For even Christ our passover is sacrificed for us:
1Co 5:8
Therefore let us keep the feast, not with old leaven, neither with the leaven of malice and wickedness; but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.
1Co 5:9
I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators:
1Co 5:10
Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world.
1Co 5:11
But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.
1Co 5:12
For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within?
1Co 5:13
But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.

If the brother or sister repents, then you should welcome them back.

2Co 2:6
Sufficient to such a man is this punishment, which was inflicted of many.
2Co 2:7
So that contrariwise ye ought rather to forgive him, and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow.
2Co 2:8
Wherefore I beseech you that ye would confirm your love toward him.

P.S.

The scam business that you mentioned would probably fall under the category of extortioner.

 

[Karlon]

think about that phrase: "unrepentant Christian". there's no such thing as an unrepentant Christian. you can not be a Christian without sins forgiven. although we all are sinners, a Christian sin's are forgiven by the spilt blood of Jesus dying on the cross for sins to be forgiven. the difference is taught this way: a born again Christian will sin but he or she has the nudging or promptings of the Holy Spirit convicting you of the sin & your conscious, soul, mind & spirit will realize the conviction, know that the sin is wrong, you will implement correction thru your convicted, converted transformed mind. ( Romans 12:2 ). there must be improvement thru edification, transformation, regeneration, scripture study & experience in a Christian's life, otherwise, someone who says he or she is born again just went thru the motions without true intentions. the woman you speak of is not Christian. there's no change in her life. i know of a lady who says she became a born again Christian then married a woman. NO, NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!!!. she is not born again. if someone thinks she is, that means anyone can abuse God's word & do what they want: NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!!! ( 1st Thessolonians 5:9, Hebrews 11:6 ). i do not social around or deal with anyone involved in the last statement you made. since about 1990, i have had nearly no friends because of my strict ways & that, around here, there's a huge dark cloud of unfriendliness, lack of real teaching pastors & too many partiers. blessings to you.

 

[keepingthingsreal]

Paul basically said the same thing here:

Eph 5:3
But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;
Eph 5:4
Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.
Eph 5:5
For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
Eph 5:6
Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.
Eph 5:7
Be not ye therefore partakers with them.
Eph 5:8
For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light:
Eph 5:9
(For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth)
Eph 5:10
Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.
Eph 5:11
And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.
Eph 5:12
For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.
Eph 5:13
But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light.
Eph 5:14
Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.

Btw, the same Greek word pornos that is translated as whoremonger in verse 5 is translated as fornicator in 1 Corinthians 5:9, 10, and 11.

 

[HeIsHere]

Should you continue friendships with unrepentant Christians? I am thinking of one person in particular, who continues to have premarital sex with every guy she dates (and pretty early on in the relationship). She is otherwise a great person, goes to church, and is a caregiver. She works in customer service so I have witnessed her being a good worker. It will be very hard for her to practice abstinence until marriage. I feel I have the same conversation with her each time/every guy. Two people I know have discontinued friendship with her due to her lifestyle.

What about other situations as well? Such as a friend in an extramarital relationship, or someone who is unkind to a family member/friend, or someone involved in a scam business, etc.

Is it affecting you emotionally or in your behaviour?

I would say this woman needs help, she is trying to fill a spiritual/emotional need in other ways.
Perhaps you can get her to seek help?
I think this depends on who this person is and if you sense she would like to be freed, telling her it is wrong probably is not going to be enough.

 

[Magenta]

1 Corinthians 5:9-12 I wrote you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people. I was not including the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing you not to associate with anyone who claims to be a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a verbal abuser, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat. What business of mine is it to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked man from among you.”

 

[MsMediator]

Is it affecting you emotionally or in your behaviour?

I would say this woman needs help, she is trying to fill a spiritual/emotional need in other ways.
Perhaps you can get her to seek help?
I think this depends on who this person is and if you sense she would like to be freed, telling her it is wrong probably is not going to be enough.

No, her behavior does not affect me. She is monogamous. So, I think the issue is her finding the right guy.

 

[HeIsHere]

No, her behavior does not affect me. She is monogamous. So, I think the issue is her finding the right guy.

What do you mean by she is "monogamous" when she is with always with different men?
Can you clarify?

 

[Magenta]

I think the issue is her finding the right guy.

There are most likely other factors. For instance, she seems to have very poor boundary issues with men. Perhaps she seeks validation from them and caves to their desires for physical intimacy, which is a poor substitute for true intimacy. If she is not caving to their desires, she may have some addiction issues of her own going on. Whatever it is can probably be aided if she were to do some work on the underlying issues. That means bringing hidden issues forward, and she will need support for that. Fortunately, lots is available.

 

[Magenta]

What do you mean by she is "monogamous" when she is with always with different men?
Can you clarify?

Serial monogamy. She does not have multiple partners at a time.

 

[MsMediator]

I understand why people would want to cut off ties with people. For instance, I would probably cut off ties with someone involved with criminal activities as that is outside my comfort level, and for safety reasons.

However if it is a lifestyle issue, I think they need our presence in their lives. I find that people cutting off ties do so because they are frustrated with that person, which isn't really a good reason. There is also an unhelpful judgemental tone involved, like that person has the yuck factor. As long we make it clear we do not condone their lifestyle due to religious reasons, it is really up to them if they want to maintain relations with us.

 

[Karlon]

Serial monogamy. She does not have multiple partners at a time.

phunnneee in a way but not really. never heard of that 1.

 

[HeIsHere]

As long we make it clear we do not condone their lifestyle due to religious reasons, it is really up to them if they want to maintain relations with us.

This seems very reasonable to me, she may see in you what is lacking in her own life, hopefully sooner rather than later.

 

[MntMex]

Should you continue friendships with unrepentant Christians? I am thinking of one person in particular, who continues to have premarital sex with every guy she dates (and pretty early on in the relationship). She is otherwise a great person, goes to church, and is a caregiver. She works in customer service so I have witnessed her being a good worker. It will be very hard for her to practice abstinence until marriage. I feel I have the same conversation with her each time/every guy. Two people I know have discontinued friendship with her due to her lifestyle.

What about other situations as well? Such as a friend in an extramarital relationship, or someone who is unkind to a family member/friend, or someone involved in a scam business, etc.

Thank you for reading my situation, feel a lot better limiting time with such people, wait and minister to them in prayer, when the time comes for a Godly repentance to occur
rejoicing can be represented from personal life giving back glory to our Father
Our calling