Let me start by saying my boyfriend is not abusive. He never lays a hand on me, calls me names, harasses me, or does anything of the sort (because of the title of the thread I felt I should clarify that immediately so people don't assume the wrong idea lol).
I grew up with a dad who ran on a short fuse, and it didn't take much for him to snap and start shouting and hollering at my sister and I whenever we did something to irritate him. Because of that I have a very low tolerance for a bad temper because I grew up with one. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and I love him, but his temper whenever it goes off frustrates me so much. It doesn't happen often, but when it happens there's no build up, he's just instantly shouting angrily, like my dad, and it's always over things that in my opinion don't matter much. A perfect example is an incident that happened this evening. We got food at Taco Bell, he asked for no sour cream on his food. We got back to his place, he opens his bad, sour cream is on all his foods. He starts shouting and hollering all angry, tearing his coat off the hook and slamming it on as he threw everything back in the bag and stomped back to the car to drive back and demand new food.
I can understand being frustrated over your food getting screwed up, it's annoying, but it didn't warrant that response. It looked like a 4 year old throwing a temper tantrum. We never fight, ever. We've never had anything we've disagreed on enough that led us into an argument. So whenever he snaps, which again isn't often, it's never at me, it's always over something else and that something else is usually too little to justify his reaction.
I don't know how to talk to him about it. I love him, and I've mentioned a few times that I wished he would think before flipping out, especially over the little things, but I feel I really need to sit down and talk to him about it but I don't know what to say. I can accept all his other flaws because they don't matter but this one thing always gets me so angry when it happens especially over something little because it reminds me too much of my dad and his ridiculous temper and how that pretty much built a permanent wall in our relationship as father/daughter. Any advice on how to approach my boyfriend on this? I want to be loving in my approach and try to be understanding, but at the same time I want to let him know how much it really bothers me without hurting his feelings. Any advice?
...and I just realized the irony of posting this when my avatar is of The Joker and Harley Quinn... a far less than healthy couple lol.
I grew up with a dad who ran on a short fuse, and it didn't take much for him to snap and start shouting and hollering at my sister and I whenever we did something to irritate him. Because of that I have a very low tolerance for a bad temper because I grew up with one. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and I love him, but his temper whenever it goes off frustrates me so much. It doesn't happen often, but when it happens there's no build up, he's just instantly shouting angrily, like my dad, and it's always over things that in my opinion don't matter much. A perfect example is an incident that happened this evening. We got food at Taco Bell, he asked for no sour cream on his food. We got back to his place, he opens his bad, sour cream is on all his foods. He starts shouting and hollering all angry, tearing his coat off the hook and slamming it on as he threw everything back in the bag and stomped back to the car to drive back and demand new food.
I can understand being frustrated over your food getting screwed up, it's annoying, but it didn't warrant that response. It looked like a 4 year old throwing a temper tantrum. We never fight, ever. We've never had anything we've disagreed on enough that led us into an argument. So whenever he snaps, which again isn't often, it's never at me, it's always over something else and that something else is usually too little to justify his reaction.
I don't know how to talk to him about it. I love him, and I've mentioned a few times that I wished he would think before flipping out, especially over the little things, but I feel I really need to sit down and talk to him about it but I don't know what to say. I can accept all his other flaws because they don't matter but this one thing always gets me so angry when it happens especially over something little because it reminds me too much of my dad and his ridiculous temper and how that pretty much built a permanent wall in our relationship as father/daughter. Any advice on how to approach my boyfriend on this? I want to be loving in my approach and try to be understanding, but at the same time I want to let him know how much it really bothers me without hurting his feelings. Any advice?
...and I just realized the irony of posting this when my avatar is of The Joker and Harley Quinn... a far less than healthy couple lol.