Gay is not 'Okay'

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MLN76

MLN76

Member
Jan 31, 2012
44
6
8
50
Des Moines, Iowa
I grew up in church, in my early 20's I was taught to preach and praise, prayed regularly, led people in
prayer, etc. The whole time, having this war raging inside me that I could not get past. I was (and had
been since I could remember) sexually attracted to men.

In my early 20's I also was put in counseling. I was assured that I was gay, that I was acceptable, and that
I would find a church that would accept me 'for who I really am'. I bought the lie. Yeah, I went back and
forth, I fought with it, even went back to a Bible believing church that preached against it, but
eventually, my desires overruled the truth and I left behind my hope and salvation. I walked away from
God.

For many years I walked in utter depravity. The darkness so thick most times, I wanted nothing but
to die. I had held the truth.I knew the outcome.yet I did it anyway. I was filled with hatred, bitterness,
anger, fury, rage, disgust, in a word..insanity. I hated God, His people, His word, anything to do with
light. I sought darkness, I tried new age stuff, I attempted to gain my will and desire by means outside
of the natural and seen, I needed absolute control and would stop at nothing to gain it. Words are not
enough to describe the utter horrors in my mind and body. I was walking as if in hell itself. Yet, there
were times in the night, laying next to someone I would be awake and think, 'what if'. .what if this
really isn't right?.....what if I am wrong and God is right?

January 31st, 2012 changed everything. Now, maybe I was already born again, maybe not, I don't care when it actually happened...I just know that it did happen. Maybe it was that night when I cried out to Him to repent from the gay lifestyle, maybe it was years ago as a teenager plagued with doubts and ready to kill myself because of the things I was doing and the thoughts in my head. I don't know...He knows...what I do know, I tell you now. I am in Him, He is in me.

All I know is, it is more important than ever for me....no...ALL believers to be on guard. It would be completely possible for me to seek a church that is ok with being gay. i could find peace there in their comforting words. BUT THEY ARE DECEIVED!. The world also says it's ok. Even family members who I know serve God with all their hearts never made any opposition to my choice to stay in that junk. God's word alone takes its stand against all manner of evil desire in man's heart. And by His Holy Spirit, He sought me...a stranger and sinner....and redeemed me from the chains and darkness I had held onto for so long.

I hope.
I love.
I live.

Because of Jesus Christ.

I had twisted love into something totally deformed...unnatural. Now He is teaching me how to really love....to love as He loves. To put others before myself, to reach out to others. And very important here....to not seek any other gods but Him....for that's what it's really all about....Idolatry. Worshipping and serving the created things as opposed to the ONE TRUE GOD.

That's the long and short of it. Thanks for listening. ;)

In Him

-Michael-
 
I needed to add a few things to this:

I could just see some things I said being mis-interpreted.

First off. I grew up in church, but I only let church "Happen to me"...not "in me". I was a wolf in sheep's clothing so to speak. There were times that I thought it would be okay, there were times I sought after only self-glory. I did the things that Christians did...even believed (James would say...so wht? So do the demons!) and in the end, I am certain that I would have perished, unsaved. By His mercy and grace I stand now, cleansed from my sin and ready to hear His voice. By NO means did I mean that I was going to church, doing "God stuff" and being gay all at the same time. It is not possible. I was masquerading...faking it...and deceived. All the times I thought were so real...so deep, so good....Jesus would have looked at me in the end and said, Depart from me you worker of iniquity....I never knew you.

Lastly, the peace I could gain from any church regarding this sin would be momentary. There is no true peace that comes from the words of men. None. Ever. At all. It only paints grief a different color, but eventually you see through it. I only meant to say that their words and beliefs would allow me to stay unsaved, in denial of the Gospel, and in darkness...if it weren't for the Holy Spirit I WOULD STILL BE THERE!
Friends, the enemy has made it so easy to stay as we once were, even after we have been changed, even after we have been brought out of darkness...rescued, saved, redeemed. Seek God. Seek Him diligently. Don't let go. Keep seeking Him. Bind your heart to Him. tie it to Him with ropes that can't be broken. Find community. Find fellowship. Find that cord of 3 strands that cannot easily be broken.

That was my problem before. I was in a church that had no sense of relationship with Christ, no common ground between the people. No fellowship. It is a lonely place. One where people suffer alone, maybe on a prayer list somewhere, but alone.

Thanks again all for listening.
 
Very much appreciated your testimony for TRUTH was most certainly served.

i had never believed that 'gay' was an acceptable "alternate lifestyle" for life could not be manifest in such.

Realize! "the elect cry day and night unto their Father and GOD" for we most certainly are despised and hated by those of this wicked, evil world, just as The Messiah was.

And i am hoping that you don't get caught up in a another brand of 'christianity' for religion is of this world and it's god, "the father of lies"!

Have your portion in The Family of Our Father and GOD, and choose to be but an "alien and pilgrim while on the earth".......

Father Help! and HE does.......

http://christianchat.com/bible-discussion-forum/37767-family-our-father-god-system-religion.html
 
Praise God! He is truly mighty to save. May He have mercy on all lost souls! "The one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out." (John 6:37)
Thank you for sharing. May God bless you, use you and strengthen you in your walk!
 
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Thank you for sharing your testimony :)
To see God working in someone's life like that is more valuable than a gem more precious than diamond.
 
i dont know why, iv never heard of gays coming to church, iv just thought that gay people arnt able to change i guess and they are who they are and christian arnt ment to juge, but your testimony was brilliant, god is great, but iam glade youv found love and peace in your heart.
 
"For such were some of you." :) we were washed by the blood, sanctified, &set free! &by God's grace, made righteouss.
 
Amen, praise the Lord for your testimony.

I have found with my gay friends and relatives that in fact they (every single one of the 5 I know) were awakened sexually too young at the hands of another.

The Lord was present in that instant and He grieves the loss of the innocence of His precious children. He also grieves the loss of the innocence of the offender.

He wants repentance for all sin, we sin daily. To repent is to turn away. Only in Christ can we turn away but we will find still its a lifetime battle. We are called to love our neighbor as ourselves. I know that the Holy Spirit works in the heart of the believer regardless of their sin. Its the responsibility of the pastor to IN LOVE state yes this is sin. Or, only if I am asked I will say yes, I consider this sin. I also consider the porn that male & female believers are addicted to a sin. NO sin is greater. Repentance and washing of the sin is amazing but still there is a battle and there is temptation. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.

God Bless you & your walk with the Lord.
 
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I liked reading this.
 
Way to go mln76!!!....I'm so happy for you. Keep fighting the good fight.
 
Thank you for sharing your testimony! I pray this can give hope to others on here for family and friends.
Keep on shining for Jesus!
 
Am I stating the obvious when I say that there is a genetic predisposition that sooner or later is stirred to action? When it happens the Christian begins his/her struggle, and knows with each event a greater guilt and yet a greater propensity to enjoy the pleasures for a season. God knows - and grieves - but, if we let Him, through sweat and tears, empowers to overcome. What striving! What refinement! What joy in victory! Thanks, Michael. 1 Cor 10 v13.
Antonal
 
My theory is that they were harmed. Maybe even as an infant without the parents knowledge and have no recollection, some who were harmed later have recollection. The people I know are still in their sin (the sin that didnt originate from themselves but that was passed on in the offense of another) and have recollection. Jesus loves them and knows the circumstances that made them the way they are. The Holy spirit will minister truth and healing if they choose Christ. Unfortunately the treatment of many "Christians" will cause them to not seek Christ but run away from the Lord of the people of condemnation.

People need to stop messing with kids sexuality. Bottom line.
 
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