get married or not?

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thais

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Well, I know God's love cause he has shown himself in many ways. I had-still have-doubts about marriage. The point is that I've found the idea of getting married kinda out of sense to me. I know every girl dreams about waiting for the right guy and spending the whole with him. Don't get me wrong! I don't claim myself superior to God. It's just that we have free will and as a result of that we can choose whether to get married or not.
Let me teel you something. I was with this whole idea until I decided to talk to my pastor. He told me that it was up to me. The next thing that happened was wow to me. Some days after that, the holy spirit worked in my church in an unbelievable way. I started to cry that sunday morning. The female pastor who was in front of us told me crying: "I know all the pain you've been gone through... I want you to serve me....The guys who is gonna be by your side has to love me first..." Until this point, we both were crying and suddenly I feel down. I started to see the skies opened, whote doves, the angels and many beautiful things. Some days ago, I thought about not getting married again. It's not because of bad experiences or something, it's because I's afraid of marriage, I'm afraid of screwing it up. I do love children but instead of having my own ones, I thought about adopting a couple of kids....Am I seem to be confused? There's something eñse though. I like looking at guys. It's of of the reasons I don't want to get married. I'm very inmature in that sense. I'm "christian", but I like dancing, drinking from time to time when I have social meetings. I feel my head kind of a mess.
 
Well, if i understand everything you said, you would like to get married, but you feel afraid that you would mess a marriage up. And you feel you are a bit immature in a few areas of your life as well. Keep in mind, you don't have to 'rush' to get married. If you're able to be content not being married right now, then don't marry. Instead of worrying about marriage, spend this time growing in your walk and learning what marriage is all about, and what being a wife is all about. That way, if in a few years down the road you meet a good man, you'll have worked through your fears, your immature behaviors, your struggles and will have learned what your role is in marriage, as well as what to expect in a marriage.

I'm not married, never have been, but have been in relationships, and i have spent years now learning what i need to know to be a husband. Biggest thing i've learned is marriage is all about self sacrifice. The more you look at marriage as what you can get out of it, or get from that person, the more likely you marriage will be bad. You learn to self sacrifice for them, and find someone with the same attitude and that is a solid foundation for marriage. Two people looking to serve, not be served.
 
I have a Great guy right next to me and i'm sure that if i was serious about marrying him tomorrow he would do it. but he knows what i'm not ready to marry so he's waiting for me.

I KNOW that i'm not ready to get married. i'm not mature enough and i also don't have God where i know he should be in my heart and i don't want my "guy" to become number on in my life when i know that where God is supposed to be. I'm also not done with school and i'm not sure if i wanna adopt or if i'll be willing to have my own kids and a number of other things. so once I'm where i need to be I'm sure God will put in both of our hearts that its time to "get this show on the road"
 
thais said:
The female pastor who was in front of us told me crying: "I know all the pain you've been gone through... I want you to serve me....The guys who is gonna be by your side has to love me first..." Until this point, we both were crying and suddenly I feel down. I started to see the skies opened, whote doves, the angels and many beautiful things. Some days ago, I thought about not getting married again.
Click to expand...

To me it sounded like that female pastor was given words from God to you, prophetic words for you. And it looks like God does has a guy in mind for you.

Everything might still be a matter of waiting for His Timing. You might now probably not be ready for such serious and strong commitment, as well as he might not be that yet too. Though it doesn't means that you will not get married ever.

It is truly awesome what vision God gave over you, must have been very special for you experiencing that. It is always that getting something from God, whether is is a vision, given dream of God, revelation, peace or just anything that builds you up in Him.

Sure; If you do decide that you don't wish to marry, you are free to chose that as well. God doesn't forces us, and to not marrying you will have even a lot more time using it to serving God. :) Still, what the female pastor told you seemed as strongly given words from God. Know that God knows your heart's desire the most! And when everything is going according to God's plan, in His Timing, then we will be ready for the next level He has in mind for us.

God Keep On Blessing You!
 
Hi

To marry or not is really a choice, and there is no right or wrong, good or bad about it.

I like to encourage you to do one thing before you decide (though at your age of 22, it really isn't a priority at the moment). Do some study on God's purpose and plan on marriage, since God is the one who instituted marriage. Go back to the fundamentals. All of us are pounded by many versions of marriage, especially from TV and books, and they are not necessarily the God-kind of marriage.

I am sure you will discover more by then.
 
thais said:
Well, I know God's love cause he has shown himself in many ways. I had-still have-doubts about marriage. The point is that I've found the idea of getting married kinda out of sense to me. I know every girl dreams about waiting for the right guy and spending the whole with him. Don't get me wrong! I don't claim myself superior to God. It's just that we have free will and as a result of that we can choose whether to get married or not.
Let me teel you something. I was with this whole idea until I decided to talk to my pastor. He told me that it was up to me. The next thing that happened was wow to me. Some days after that, the holy spirit worked in my church in an unbelievable way. I started to cry that sunday morning. The female pastor who was in front of us told me crying: "I know all the pain you've been gone through... I want you to serve me....The guys who is gonna be by your side has to love me first..." Until this point, we both were crying and suddenly I feel down. I started to see the skies opened, whote doves, the angels and many beautiful things. Some days ago, I thought about not getting married again. It's not because of bad experiences or something, it's because I's afraid of marriage, I'm afraid of screwing it up. I do love children but instead of having my own ones, I thought about adopting a couple of kids....Am I seem to be confused? There's something eñse though. I like looking at guys. It's of of the reasons I don't want to get married. I'm very inmature in that sense. I'm "christian", but I like dancing, drinking from time to time when I have social meetings. I feel my head kind of a mess.
Click to expand...

Hi, It's a gift either way sister. Some are called to be single, some are called to marriage. It's between you and God, but advice and prayer from your peers and elders never hurt anyone :)

I Cor 7:6 I (Paul) say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 But I wish everyone were single, just as I am (context: so they could preach the gospel more effectively). But God gives to some the gift of marriage, and to others the gift of singleness.

Hope this helps a little
 
You are so young yet :)
Maybe in ten yrs you will feel different.
and 2 men walked across the bridge.where is the third man, we carried him in our hears for he is our heart


If you never want to marry then dont.
But maybe you will as you become older, mature, change etc...and maybe you wont.
adoption is a option to having your own children.
theres many ways to be a Mother.Soulmother, stepmother, adopted mother etc.......
 
It depends on the person whether they want to get married or not, but personally I would prefer marriage.. I actually have felt the same way as you do. Being afraid that one day if I do get married, I'd screw it up. I've even thought about skipping the whole getting married part and just adopting some kids. I'd love to get married though and have that kind of relationship with a guy where they're your best friend. Someone to go through life with. I have a lot of faults tho and I'm not as strong as I should be as a christian. But like I know if God has someone out there for me..He'll only bring them into my life at the RIGHT TIME..when I'm ready and when the guy is ready. There is a timing for everything. God's plan is perfect. Also..we're humans..we make mistakes..and with marriage..a lot of mistakes are bound to happen..even with the most perfect of couples. But marriage wasn't meant to be easy..it needs continuous effort and focus. Both partners working hard to make it work..with a lot of communication and compromise. Never giving up even when things get hard. That's why it's important to marry someone you know will put just as much effort into your marriage as you do, someone who won't just quit. So you shouldn't be scared about screwing up. If you think about it..you choose who you marry..so you'll know if that person is going to give your marriage his all or not.. anyways that's about it I think :)
 
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