Give me bad advice...

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You don't want to waste food so u had better eat that bacon up , it's a week past its use by date !
 
Go to the make up counter , pick out a lip stick u like the look of and let the assistant use the sampler to put some on u to c what it looks like . 🙊 .
 
My mum was actually going to do this ; eat the rest of that steak that u cooked yourself last night , couldn't finish so , left it overnight in the microwave . 🤷
 
Get your nose right in there and smell that lovely cactus flower !
 
Go and ask the boss if u can have ; a long stand , a bucket of steam , a jar of elbow grease and a tin of polka dot paint .
 
Go to someone's house , that u have never met before , they have recently been released from prison after serving 5 years for manslaughter . Tell them that u used to know someone from around here , their name was Terry and they had a brother that was murdered . Enjoy the icy silence . I did that 😞 .
 
Drink four litres of whisky a week for at least forty years , also smoke forty cigarettes a day for at least fifty years and live until u r at least 76 . Thats my mum ! It can b done !
 
Every year , for Christmas , buy your loved one an article of clothing that u know they will hate , do this for many years and then , one year , buy them something that u know they will love . Then , wash it for them on a boil wash and put it straight in the dryer . Watch their little faces when they take it out ! 😆😆😆 Mum did that 😞 . I can laugh about it now 😜
 
Yes ! If a man in a pub approaches u and offers to sell u a sack full of ' meat ' really cheap , buy it ! Ex did this 🙄
 
If u only live in a very small house and work full time , make sure to get yourself a great Dane puppy 😩 ex did this also .
 
When u have accidentally put your girlfriends new jeans on by mistake , go out to buy a newspaper . Make sure u have your cigarette lighter in the back pocket of the jeans . Go and buy your newspaper , fold it up and stuff it in the aforementioned back pocket . Set fire to your girlfriends new jeans while u r wearing them , yes , ex again 😁 .
 
If u r a single woman , make sure to always b polite and friendly to any and every man u meet ,because of course men r capable of being friends with a woman and to not want anything more than friendship ! 😬
 
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Ladies , if u r going to a funeral service , please ensure that u wear bright colours , lots of make up , a nice short skirt and a low cut top . Everyone will think u r a lovely person . In fact , make sure u dress this way for any and every religious occasion and c the joy in everyone else's expressions .
 
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