J
Jullianna
Guest
Seems to me that I've devoted more thought and prayer to relationships and marriage this week than I have in a very long time. Maybe that's because I had my own healing to do. 
As I read through the threads and listen to people talk in the chat rooms about these things, my heart becomes very heavy. There are so many people who are lonely, scared and scarred. Not only from past relationships, but from concerns that they may never find the relationship they want/need. God (as always) said it best. "It is not good for man to be alone". Maybe for a season, but for a lifetime? I can't imagine that very many of us have been blessed with the gift of singleness.
When the subject of marriage comes up, isn't it tragic that most of the conversation (even among christians) revolves around divorce and/or abusive situations? Seems that we very rarely hear anyone speak highly of marriage or say positive things about their spouses. As I listen to these things and I look at the ages of some of the hearers/readers, it must be such a discouragement to them. Maybe even cause them to wonder if loving, godly relationships even exist anymore in a world and a people so marred by sin and brokeness.
Some find themselves where they are by choice. And live with those choices. But as I listen to/read the lines of pain, I don't see choices. I see/hear sorrow, helplessness and discouragement. Knowing that God collects our tears, I would imagine the vessel collecting the lost relationship tears must be constantly overflowing.
Our pastor preached on marriage last week. He said it was a subject he usually avoided and knew that many of his pastor friends avoided it too. For fear of offending. Maybe we're doing it wrong....
God created marriage. Marriage is holy. Marriage is good. Marriage is blessed. The Church must absolutely be pro-marriage.
But marriage is also tough. And sometimes it doesn't work out for whatever reason. Many are broken by it, or the loss of it. Many have it taken from them through no fault or will of their own. Even if they had a part in its downfall, do they hurt any less? Are they any less scarred? Do they have fewer regrets? Have you ever really seen anyone come out of a divorce feeling like a winner, even the person who wanted it? Seems to me that we need to be as compassionate as the Lord was to the woman at the well. Hate divorce? Absolutely. It's not God's plan and it HURTS people...everyone close to the situation is hurt. But unforgivable? Worthy of withholding compassion? Not if we are truly known by our love for one another. Or is that just me...
I appreciate these threads. Not for just the laughs, which, btw, often have a lot of pain behind them if you're paying attention. I appreciate them because people are here bariing their souls to others. That's cathartic. But consider how many people are reading the words posted here. Some of them may be at a crossroads with some very important decisions to make...life affecting decisions. Not only for themselves. My prayer is that whoever they may be, they benefit not only from the lessons hard learned, but by those of us who can honestly say, yes...true love DOES exist. Marriage CAN be good. Relationships CAN be strong. And they CAN be lasting. It still happens. But we have to do it God's way, not ours.
I've heard it said that it's better to want something you don't have than to have something you don't want. I wonder sometimes whether I will ever again have the sort of relationship with a man that I once had. Funny thing is, because I know the value of it, I can't imagine settling for less than that, no matter how long I have to wait on the Lord.
I didn't mean to write a book. Didn't even know I was going to post this tonight. Just sharing my heart. Maybe there's someone who needs to read it tonight. If that's you, then know you aren't reading this alone. The God of all creation is with you and He has amazing plans for you. Don't try and make your plans His plans. His plan is always better. It doesn't make the wait or the decision any easier maybe, but it sure will prevent having to worry about the cure down the road. God bless!
As I read through the threads and listen to people talk in the chat rooms about these things, my heart becomes very heavy. There are so many people who are lonely, scared and scarred. Not only from past relationships, but from concerns that they may never find the relationship they want/need. God (as always) said it best. "It is not good for man to be alone". Maybe for a season, but for a lifetime? I can't imagine that very many of us have been blessed with the gift of singleness. When the subject of marriage comes up, isn't it tragic that most of the conversation (even among christians) revolves around divorce and/or abusive situations? Seems that we very rarely hear anyone speak highly of marriage or say positive things about their spouses. As I listen to these things and I look at the ages of some of the hearers/readers, it must be such a discouragement to them. Maybe even cause them to wonder if loving, godly relationships even exist anymore in a world and a people so marred by sin and brokeness.
Some find themselves where they are by choice. And live with those choices. But as I listen to/read the lines of pain, I don't see choices. I see/hear sorrow, helplessness and discouragement. Knowing that God collects our tears, I would imagine the vessel collecting the lost relationship tears must be constantly overflowing.
Our pastor preached on marriage last week. He said it was a subject he usually avoided and knew that many of his pastor friends avoided it too. For fear of offending. Maybe we're doing it wrong....
God created marriage. Marriage is holy. Marriage is good. Marriage is blessed. The Church must absolutely be pro-marriage.
But marriage is also tough. And sometimes it doesn't work out for whatever reason. Many are broken by it, or the loss of it. Many have it taken from them through no fault or will of their own. Even if they had a part in its downfall, do they hurt any less? Are they any less scarred? Do they have fewer regrets? Have you ever really seen anyone come out of a divorce feeling like a winner, even the person who wanted it? Seems to me that we need to be as compassionate as the Lord was to the woman at the well. Hate divorce? Absolutely. It's not God's plan and it HURTS people...everyone close to the situation is hurt. But unforgivable? Worthy of withholding compassion? Not if we are truly known by our love for one another. Or is that just me...
I appreciate these threads. Not for just the laughs, which, btw, often have a lot of pain behind them if you're paying attention. I appreciate them because people are here bariing their souls to others. That's cathartic. But consider how many people are reading the words posted here. Some of them may be at a crossroads with some very important decisions to make...life affecting decisions. Not only for themselves. My prayer is that whoever they may be, they benefit not only from the lessons hard learned, but by those of us who can honestly say, yes...true love DOES exist. Marriage CAN be good. Relationships CAN be strong. And they CAN be lasting. It still happens. But we have to do it God's way, not ours.
I've heard it said that it's better to want something you don't have than to have something you don't want. I wonder sometimes whether I will ever again have the sort of relationship with a man that I once had. Funny thing is, because I know the value of it, I can't imagine settling for less than that, no matter how long I have to wait on the Lord.
I didn't mean to write a book. Didn't even know I was going to post this tonight. Just sharing my heart. Maybe there's someone who needs to read it tonight. If that's you, then know you aren't reading this alone. The God of all creation is with you and He has amazing plans for you. Don't try and make your plans His plans. His plan is always better. It doesn't make the wait or the decision any easier maybe, but it sure will prevent having to worry about the cure down the road. God bless!
