Going through divorce. Prayer please.

[devinchatwme]

Hey, my name is Devin. I'm 21, and live in Lexington, SC. I am just reaching out for friends and what not online just to have something to do in my spare time right now. I guess I will tell a little bit about me and my life. I am going through a really rough time right now. My wife left me about 2 months ago and I was really beat up about it. I guess I will give a background on how I grew and what lead me to Christ. In highschool me and my wife dated and smoked pot and drank and got into other things. And we got out of high school and I thought I found God. We both stopped smoking together and drinking. We later got married and got a house together. We were doing good, I thought as far as living for God, but really neither one of us had an idea of what we were doing. We would go to church and when we left talk about how we liked the worship and if were going to try another church. Eventually that lead into us only going every now and then and then none at all. Eventually pot entered our lives again and it was a slow fade from there. The last month before she left we started going out to bars since we just turned 21 and what not. I think she enjoyed it a little too much. She left me and said she was no longer in love, and I later found out she was living with another man she works with and someone I knew and we were going to bars with. As soon as she left me I turned to God, and felt helpless and broken. I felt him move in my life in a way I never have before. Ever since I have been so focused on Jesus it is crazy. And he has helped me to move past the past. I wish things could miraculously be worked out, but I think God has different plans. I grew up in church and my wife grew up in a household where her mom smokes and smoked with her. The only time she was introduced to God was with me and I don't know if she truly ever had a revelation. I say all that to say that I would really like some prayer and maybe a little of God's truth, if anyone would like to respond. Thank you for your time and I look forward to peoples response. Thanks.

 

[choZn]

Hi, Devin. I was going through the posts and noticed that noone had responded. Let me first tell you not to let that discourage you. Sometimes people aren't sure how to respond or don't feel qualified to respond. I pray that you will receive encouragement and God's guidance in ways and places that He directs.

While it is important to find a church that is compatible with your beliefs, the worship is about what you GIVE- not what you RECEIVE. You will be blessed when you become a part of the church body and use the gifts and talents God gave you in service to Him. The more you do and get involved, the more you will feel like a part of the congregation. Oh, and please, PLEASE remember...there are no perfect churches. Churches are run by christians who still need a steady supply of grace.

Divorce is never part of God's plan, but a result of sinful choices. Jesus says in Matthew 19:6 that no man should put asunder what God has joined together. In 19:9 He states that the only exception to this is fornication. Paul added his own suggestions in 1 Corinthians 7:12-17 that you might find helpful to your specific situation.

I will keep praying for you. You are facing some difficult times, but nothing is impossible with God. Hang in there. He sees you at your toughest times and you are not alone. He loves you and only wants the best for you. Rest in His strength, draw from it and follow where He leads you. God bless you.

 

[fabfam12]

Devin, to echo choZn's words, I don't fee qualified to respond other than I, like you, love Jesus. I am praying for you. Keep reading your Bible. Stay in the Word. Pray and quiet yourself before the Lord. Surround yourself with Godly friends and Godly music. God bless you.

 

[KezE]

Hi Devin. I feel your pain, as I too am recently separated from my husband. It is so painful & lonely but I praise God that you have found your way back to Him. He has promised you that He will work all things for the good of those who love Him, and He has already done that, as you have invited Him back into your life. When we are broken & desperate, He can work with us the most! You have done the right thing by joining CC to seek out fellowship with others who believe in & love Jesus. This is so important & something you need to be intentional about. As fabfam12 said, you need to spend time in the word, with other believers, listening to praise music, Godly messages etc. Make this a priority & you will get stronger & stronger. Here is another promise from Him: "Your sun will never set again, and your moon will wane no more; the Lord will be your everlasting light and your days of sorrow WILLl end" Isaiah 60:20. Keep your focus on Him at all times. "I will be glad & rejoice in your unfailing love, for you have seen my troubles & care about the anguish of my soul". Psalm 31:7. He loves & cares deeply for you & it hurts Him to see you hurt. I will be praying for you!!

 

[MO4]

Hi Devin and KezE. I have gone through something similar to what the both of you have gone only a little different. My wedding was to take place late last year ended up been cancelled one week before it took place. Reasons being that my ex fiancee had been seeing his ex girlfriend behind my back only to end up cancelling our wedding in promise that it is her he wanted to marry.Of course he denied the whole story. Out of wanting to move one I ended up living with this man( in our tradition once a man pays your dowry he is your husband) only to have his ex girlfriend call me up to tell me that they were still firvently seeing each other by then it was too late because I was already pregnant. Despite all that, I gave my life to Jesus. i prayed alot for God to change my situation in an unhappy home and he did though in a way I list expected. He separated us. One night I came home from visiting my parents only to have him beat me up in my current state. I was jobless and completely broke because I had lent him all my savings to assist him run his business which was collapsing. Anyway, I called my parents who came for me that same night, packed my stuff and left. I am taking care of myself now without any help from him and thanking God everyday for the good He has done in my life. My parents never deserted me. Wow..if there is anyone who was truly blessed with good loving parents it is me. They are born again and they truly live as children of God. They have supported me both financially and emotionally. When things went wrong, they stood by me with all their might.I got a God given job and everyday is my favorite day. I believe that God separated us because something far more worse, hurting and painful would have happened if we would have stayed together. Remember, I gave my life to Christ so God would not have allowed me to live with a man who is not born again let alone a marriage that was not blessed by him. God sees into our future. He knows our beginning from our end. He must have looked into mine with this man and seeing a life long of misery, probably I would have ended up even loosing my pregnancy my dignity and my identity if i would have soldered on out of the anguish that he was planning to inflict on me for the sake of his lover. Nothing happens by chance.Everything happens with a reason. The word of God says that in everything we should thank God. Therefore get rid of all the pain, bitterness, anger, hatred, hopelessness and cast all those burdens unto the Lord. Let go and let God. Only then will he be able to take care of this situations for you and only then will you really see why it happened to you. The word of God is against divorce. KezE you are only separated from your husband. I would like you to pray for God to bring him back to you. The devil came to kill, steal and destroy and that is what he is trying to do to your marriage. God put you together with that man. No one and nothing should separate you. Read Romans 4. It says that we are children of the kingdom of heaven. In Genesis, God gave us dominion over everything and he created us in his likeness. He never took back that Dominion. Isaiah 66:9 says that God will not bring to birth that that he has not planned to be born. That is why nothing happens by chance. You didn't get married by chance so your separation from your husband was not Gods will. Gods blessings never sow sorrow. I will equally remember you and everyone else in this situation. If you want to talk about this some more let me know.

 

[ChicagoMommyRev]

I have been through a divorce and just want you to know that i will pray for you during this difficult time.

 

[Tumnus]

Hi Devin: I am encouraged that you are turning to Christ and that you are solely focused on Him. That was an excellent decision to make. Since I am also not qualified to comment on your situation, I just want to encourage you now in the faith with God's word. Ps 34:18&19 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all."

God bless you, brother.

 

[notalone]

You are not alone. I too am dealing with separation. It's good to know there are other believers out there dealing - or having dealt - with the same thing that are ready to pray and encourage, and not just judge. xoxoxox

 

[NMsmile]

I'm praying for you. These are some things that I think will help ... Strengthen yourself. Get around other believers, memorize the word, don't say anything bad about your "spouse or ex-spouse". Pray for them. Remind yourself that God is good and he has a perfect plan for your life. Call to God. Jeremiah 33:3 Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. Use this time to get closer to God. Be still and listen to what God is trying to do in your life. Know that God is with you.

 

[Stanelake]

One might say that you have the right to let her go and start over; you are young she has committed herself to another man. But worshiping God ought to be your first port of call. Please seek a bible believing church get down from yourself and find Jesus. Without Him even wealthy sober people divorce. There is a divine grace fro marriage that you will get as your intimacy with Him increases. God loves you both even when you were stone drunk or etc.
I have been on rough patches in my marriage because of finances, social and cultural issues and even extended family affairs. At some point I even doubted my own salvation because I associated marital issues with unbelievers. My self esteem and general approach to life withered; I was not a 'man'. My wife & I did not appreciate each other much and my congregation/pastor at the time did not help either. I came to find that at the time I rediscovered myself in Christ I felt better about myself and managed to forgive my wife and even desire to treat her better. We had to leave the church we went to for our relationship to heal further. My point is if you get yourself in marriage again(with this lady or otherwise) let Jesus be the epicenter/ the heart beat of your relationship you will enjoy yourself. We are not yet out of trouble but now it is easier to see why I married her in the first place.
Brother God loves you otherwise you would not be seeking Him even through a forum of this sort
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[devinchatwme]

Thank all of you for your input and support. I do want to get closer to Jesus. As much as I can, becuase he will never leave me. I just want to grow and learn and learn to be a disciple so I can also help people come to the realization that I have come to. I am no longer the same person, totally born again. At this moment I live alone and have no friends, but I am trying to change that by getting involved in church. It is really hard though to keep her out of my mind. I care about her salvation, whether or not she comes back home. And I just want to know that even though we treated each other badly because of drugs and alcohol and she committed herself to someone else that I am forgiven and one day, God willing, find someone else, if she doesn't change before the divorce is final.