Guys!: Is the style in which a woman dresses....(modestly of course..)

[Chey60]

Guys..

Is the style in which a woman dresses a key to whether or not you will want to approach them or get to know them?


I dress modestly but I wear alot of black (mainly because we used to not be able to wear prints on platform ..just solids and they don't make alot of cute clothing in colors so.. it was easier to buy black)
but I dress kind of funky.
Bedazzled torn jeans (not showing leg tho) , a bit of bling on my tops, (not alot), heels, boots, skirts with leggings and boots.. cowboy boots with bootcut jeans and a sweater..you know just rocker /funk ...to church..I can wear jeans and a Tshirt and ball cap too yes..
but I don't wear those to church..
but most men like the dressed down look and I am not sure I get that..
I don't dress for them of course but I do want to look presentable.
so what I am wondering is, why do men easily approach women who dress down as opposed to women who dress up?
do we look intimidating? does our dress style make a difference in whether you think we are high maintenance or something??
just so you know, I shop sale racks, thrift stores, inexpensive younger clothing stores like Dots and dollar store type stores like Burke's.... I don't buy expensive clothing because not only am I thrifty but I also think why pay more when you can get it for less.?
I have set style trends for several ladies in church whose husbands love my cast offs on their wives..
but just wondered what the deal is with the dress down thing..

thanks

 

[KJV15John11]

Looking back, I can't ever remember even once thinking about what the woman is wearing before I approach her. What she wears will grab my attention in the very beginning, but once I am attracted, she could wear a burlap sack for all it matters. For me, what you wear becomes more important once you are in a committed relationship. It's then that you will want to dress in ways that your partner finds appealing. For myself, I actually encouraged the women to help me pick out clothes and colognes. I want to look good and smell good for my partner, and I could really care less what anyone else thinks. I will nix things if I don't really like it, but I'm usually pretty open to suggestions.

Once you are married, it's nice that both of you keep the romance alive by maintaining an attractive appearance. Again, not for others, just for your spouse. Nothing's better than going out with your wife on a date, she's wearing something that really turns you on, and you are forced to control yourself until you get home, so you can ravage her! Too much information? Tough nuts! It's really good stuff!

 

[CatHerder]

attempt to respond from phone, which I hate doing:

I can only respond for myself, not all men, because we don't go into the restroom en masse and talk about this type of stuff.

dressed down = comfort = more likelihood to be spontaneous and fun. Comfort also = confidence, which = attractive.

Dressed up = not fun (don't touch the hair!), guarded, not as approachable. OK if at a formal event, such as a symphony concert, where everybody is dressed up and the playing field is even, but only if she is wearing a smile as well.

 

[Ugly]

Personally, i'm a dressed down guy myself. So if someone dressed up too much i would feel awkward. Personally i like a woman is is dressed down on the average, but still has days where she may want to dress a little nicer... or have the options to if the need arises.
Also, i think a woman who is more dressed up may seem as more high maintenance.

 

[Chey60]

attempt to respond from phone, which I hate doing:

I can only respond for myself, not all men, because we don't go into the restroom en masse and talk about this type of stuff.

dressed down = comfort = more likelihood to be spontaneous and fun. Comfort also = confidence, which = attractive.

Dressed up = not fun (don't touch the hair!), guarded, not as approachable. OK if at a formal event, such as a symphony concert, where everybody is dressed up and the playing field is even, but only if she is wearing a smile as well.

See I think both of your answers are wonderful..

I don't have to agree Catherder about the dressed up part but I respect and appreciate the honesty by which you responded with that

the funny thing is, I dress up because I can when I was married I was frumpy, dumpy unloved, unappreciated, abused and overweight..largely. All that was comfortable was large clothing even tho it didn't look good..
I thought it hid me.. and I was so insecure that burlap sack ? uh no..not with my self image..

When he left me, I began to lose weight and all of a sudden when I dressed up I actually looked nice..


Anyway.. for me dressing up is a sign that I finally (Somewhat) like the way I look. Anyone even men, can wear jeans and a tshirt..but a lady,she can dress up a feminine woman is like a sunrise on a man's soul and I find dressing up makes me feel very feminine when I felt dowdy before

I think the moral of the story is....don't judge a book by a cover..the woman in the super nice looking clothing
may have had issues in the past where dressing up makes her feel prettier than dressing down
or maybe not..but dressing up does not mean not fun! or unapproachable, or guarded..
the key is tho, is she comfortable enough when you get to know her, to dress down, go without makeup as much as she is comfortable in her cute clothes
btw the only time I dress down is grocery store (unless it's after work), movies, weekend outings...or other church ministry events that are casual..wednesday nights services, or at home.

and you don't go into the restroom enmasse and talk about this? man!

lol

 

[rachelsedge]

I can only respond for myself, not all men, because we don't go into the restroom en masse and talk about this type of stuff.

We don't go to the bathroom to talk about this kind of stuff.

We go to the clubhouse in the tree house, which boys are not allowed in.

 

[Stuey]

People often dress to say something about themselves... So based on that - yes.

But not always. lol - and it's not like a 'oh she's dressed badly so I won't approach her' more of a 'oh she's dressed like clique x.'

 

[flight316]

In my experiance women who dress down seem to be friendlier and easier to approach and talk to. Women that dress up tend to have this snobbish air about them and a attitude. I'm not intimidated, I. Just not interested in them.

 

[surprisingrose]

Men are visual.... like to fix myself up, but he can messed my hair up all he wants ;0).
Everyday casual dressy... special occasions dressy...dressy. I put my red dress on <3.

KJVJohn11.... remind me to marry you. Love your remarks.... yes... sir, huh, hah.... :0). lol.

 

[Liamson]

Admittedly this picture is GOOFY but, its kind of charming too. ^This is awesome^

She's approachable modest. Wearing solid colors, which is a plus. Tennis Shoes ++

And looks like she is fun to be around.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


This person, I would be less inclined to approach. She is cute but, seems more high maintenance.

And once I worry about maintenance I start looking for redeeming character qualities.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

And I am completely immune to this woman....

 

[jsmotion]

I think it's all a balance. I mean, there are times that girls are all dressed up and it can be a little intimidating to approach them. Like, I'll think that if I'm in my t-shirt and jeans, that I'd be beneath them or something. Although, I know that's pretty absurd to think. But, if a girl is also in a t-shirt and jeans, it makes them seem more relaxed and seem like they are easier to talk to. But, I like both ways for girls to dress, it's just that if they are more casual they seem more accessible. If that makes any sense.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

Zumba cargos are the comfiest clothes ever invented. But you can't really wear them anywhere except Zumba because they look weird. LOL.

This wasn't addressed to women, but I'm a sucker for a guy in khakis and a button-up.

 

[KJV15John11]

I see a shy woman by the way she looks down. Once she looked up towards me, I would just give her a smile. Her look doesn't mean that she necessarily is high maintenance! She just may have a job that requires such a look. Some women dress up to make up for having low self-esteem. Just by giving her a smile, you could give her the boost she needs. What does a smile cost? I'd still take the time to get to know her before judging her high maintenance or not. She could be the most God-centered woman you'll ever meet who just happens to dress up nicely, but you'll never find out if you assume the cover represents the contents. She could be one incredible read!

 

[KJV15John11]

Men are visual.... like to fix myself up, but he can messed my hair up all he wants ;0).
Everyday casual dressy... special occasions dressy...dressy. I put my red dress on <3.

KJVJohn11.... remind me to marry you. Love your remarks.... yes... sir, huh, hah.... :0). lol.

Okay, you pick the date! How do you feel about a Denver Broncos/Star Wars themed wedding? How do you look with buns on either side of your hair? Actually, Princess Leia had a nicer hairdo during the medal ceremony and still wore a nice white dress. I'll be wearing black because . . . Well . . . I'm a guy. Maybe Chewbacca? Huh . . .

 

[AsifinPassing]

Guys..

Is the style in which a woman dresses a key to whether or not you will want to approach them or get to know them?


I dress modestly but I wear alot of black (mainly because we used to not be able to wear prints on platform ..just solids and they don't make alot of cute clothing in colors so.. it was easier to buy black)
but I dress kind of funky.
Bedazzled torn jeans (not showing leg tho) , a bit of bling on my tops, (not alot), heels, boots, skirts with leggings and boots.. cowboy boots with bootcut jeans and a sweater..you know just rocker /funk ...to church..I can wear jeans and a Tshirt and ball cap too yes..
but I don't wear those to church..
but most men like the dressed down look and I am not sure I get that..
I don't dress for them of course but I do want to look presentable.
so what I am wondering is, why do men easily approach women who dress down as opposed to women who dress up?
do we look intimidating? does our dress style make a difference in whether you think we are high maintenance or something??
just so you know, I shop sale racks, thrift stores, inexpensive younger clothing stores like Dots and dollar store type stores like Burke's.... I don't buy expensive clothing because not only am I thrifty but I also think why pay more when you can get it for less.?
I have set style trends for several ladies in church whose husbands love my cast offs on their wives..
but just wondered what the deal is with the dress down thing..

thanks

There's a lot to this(these) question(s)...Hmm...how to put this (stereotypes):

The Classic Business Woman (*seems to):

-gives the impression she's always in a hurry

-seems angry/stressed or otherwise very focused in what comes across as an unimpressed type attitude

-more or less doesn't seem to care about you due to this appearance, and thus is often overlooked by some

-may also possibly intimidate those who are laid-back or under-achievers with her assertiveness and achievement

The Classic 'Snob':

-gives the appearance of being high maintenance, judgmental, and materialistic

-often seems to be either aloof or arrogant

-*bookmarked for further comments*

Alright, I thought about continuing that with another 10 or so examples, but it felt kind of unappealing...so I'm switching it up.

As far as your dress down question:

A girl who dresses like a punk, scene kid, gothic, hipster, etc appeals to those genre types. Thus, if you find yourself related with a certain group, then common ground already exists to start something on.

Similarly, a lot of girls who dress down just in a common casual way (sweats, jeans and T, etc), do seem more approachable based on the what might be something like a lack of formality. It's hard to explain, but it's something like the difference between meeting someone who's chill, laughing/joking, and just having a good time vs someone who is busy/stressed or working. Not always, but in general, you just get a whole different vibe. I think it has something to do with that.

...and all of that to say, yes, I do think the way people dress/carry themselves/etc, has an effect on whether or not they are approached.

 

[surprisingrose]

Now the first lady I consider her casual dressy. Yes she looks fun.

 

[Praus]

Guys..

Is the style in which a woman dresses a key to whether or not you will want to approach them or get to know them?

Adidas sweats & ponytail.

 

[AsifinPassing]

You know, as I put more thought into it...I really think attitude and personality have a lot more to do with it than appearance. Granted, there are those who are going to avoid:

because she looks 'crazy' or:

due to her power, wealth, and beauty, so you'd rather just keep your head down (not all guys, but a lot, I think...).

...then again. despite how women look, we come back to this personality/attitude/vibe thing...

Says, "Hey, Come talk to me."

Says, "Leave me alone."

...so, I think a lot is in the way you behave, but there is a small amount still measured in how you dress.

...on another note, I thought of SOO many movie scenes writing these...

 

[KJV15John11]

This wasn't addressed to women, but I'm a sucker for a guy in khakis and a button-up.

Is this what you are talking about?

 

[surprisingrose]

Wellll..... rofl..... I was thinking more like cream/peach w/ roses and the men in black w/ green cumberbuns (there's the buns!). Chewbacca will do, I like big, strong hairy guys! Buns won't work, I have medium length, curly hair.... buns just won't do. Play the Star Wars theme song maybe? How about we invite the Broncos to our church wedding? Good compromize, huh?
lol Oh, the date has to be in the fall, it's when I feel the most romantic <3. Well, you have the after the wedding thing down pack, now we'll just have to work on the wedding day thing.