Hai! I’m Reid

[TabinRivCA]

Hi Kayla!!

I was just reading your profile and I think it's amazing that you are interested in both forestry AND aerospace engineering!! That's incredible, and I pray that God will bless you in your studies and career path.

It's great to have you here and I pray we can assist you on your journey with the Lord.

If I may share something with you, I was adopted as an infant from Korea into a small white town with a very small town mindset. This all-white area was next to a town that was all-black, with very few people from any other races.

Being Asian in a white family and mostly white society, I always felt like I was having a multi-faceted identity crisis.

I obviously didn't totally fit in with white people; I most certainly didn't fit with any Asians I did meet (and that wasn't until I was an adult,); and while I made a few friends of varying race and backgrounds, I surely didn't fit in with the black community either.

No matter what I did or how hard I tried, I never felt like I belonged anywhere -- I was always the puzzle piece that never fit, always searching for the whole puzzle I was supposedly meant to be a part of.

My username here, Seoulsearch, is a reflection of my lifelong search for who I am, and wanting to help other people discover who they are in Christ as well. (Seoul, pronounced "soul", is the name of the Korean city I was found in.)

I understand how it feels to never feel like you belong to one group or side you're "supposed to," and yet you can't fully integrate with the other side either, leaving you to wonder where, or if, you're ever going to find family or community.

The truth is, as I'm now older, I realize I most likely will never "fully" "fit in" anywhere, but I think more and more that God designed it that way on purpose. I'm almost always "in-between" race, class, and other extremes, but the advantage is that once I get over a few initial hurdles, God helps me talk fairly easily to people of all backgrounds.

My whole point in telling you all this is that I just wanted to say, I know you probably feel like you're in-between most everything right now -- I definitely know what that feels like. I know my situation is different, but I have a lot of sympathy for people struggling with identity issues in all forms, because I've lived it all my life.

I hope you'll be encouraged that God can still use what you're going through for His purpose!

I know you're struggling "in-between" gender right now... Can I tell you a secret? I have always struggled with feeling "in-between" races -- if I had a choice, I would probably be white, because that's what I've been raised with and know.

Of course, that's never going to happen (though these days, there are all sorts of scary surgeries where people do try to turn themselves into another race. When I was young, I wanted a blonde wig and blue contacts, but I'd seen other Asians do this and they just looked like zombies.) Now, if they had some magic, fool-proof serum that would automatically turn me into a white person, would I consider it? Yes.

But I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be God's will, so I've done my best to accept the way God has made me, and trust that it's for a reason.

It's not always easy, I know.

But you being Kayla is definitely not a mistake, and I'm so glad you feel God calling you into His love and acceptance (just the way He created you!)

I can't say that I've been able to accept this for myself perfectly at all, but it's a daily walk and I thank God for the opportunity to keep learning as I go.

Many blessings to you, Kayla, and I hope you'll find comfort and encouragement here within the community of Christ!

Please keep us posted on your journey.

P.S. You are a beautiful young woman; I hope God gives you peace and joy in who you are!

Maybe we don't think we fit in with others, as I've always felt, but isn't it sweet to know there's no judging or prejudice in the family of God? We are 'In Christ' and are to love each other as ourselves. What a perfect commandment. Oh, and btw I've noticed many famous male actors marrying Asian women. Just today, for some reason, I was looking up Troy Donahue (a heart throb back in the day) and read that he found his soulmate after all his escapades an Asian opera singer. Also many others, how about Woody Allen, John Lennon, lol. Maybe you should move to Hollywood

 

[passion84god]

Hi! Well it started last summer but it went berserk and I started taking hormones for it after I tried to erm end things. I felt like the only me is dead and I still feel that way. Like I’m a different me that survived. I’ve always struggled with depression

May I ask how it started last summer? By trying to end things, do you mean that you tried to take your life through suicide? I am sorry if that is the case because your life is precious in the sight of God and in our sight here as well. Is your depression normally related to one particular area of your life? I am sorry to be asking so many questions, but I do believe that there are root causes as to why certain things happen in our lives, and I am just trying to figure out what the root is here so that I might be able to offer you some good counsel or advice for your own benefit. Thank you for your openness, btw. It takes openness to truly be delivered from the things that bind us.​

 

[TransGuyReseekingChrist]

May I ask how it started last summer? By trying to end things, do you mean that you tried to take your life through suicide? I am sorry if that is the case because your life is precious in the sight of God and in our sight here as well. Is your depression normally related to one particular area of your life? I am sorry to be asking so many questions, but I do believe that there are root causes as to why certain things happen in our lives, and I am just trying to figure out what the root is here so that I might be able to offer you some good counsel or advice for your own benefit. Thank you for your openness, btw. It takes openness to truly be delivered from the things that bind us.​

Last summer I met a trans girl and became her friend. I suffer with BPD and a major area is chronic identity emptiness so I tend to take on others identities to fill in this gap (this is all from genetics and the way I was raised). So I think I was trying to figure out why I always felt weird in my body and thought I must be the opposite gender. But surprise surprise I still feel not myself and like I’m not complete. And yes that’s exactly what I meant. My depression is really heavy around family and my future, I worry about my career and college a lot and want to get the most out of it.
I learned being open is the most important part for feeling better and getting better.

 

[passion84god]

a major area is chronic identity emptiness​

If you would be open to it, then maybe we could have a conversation about who you are in Christ because that is your true identity.​

 

[andy700700]

Matthew 7:13-14
New International Version
“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

John 14:6
New International Version
6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

1 Peter 1:3
New International Version
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,

Psalm 62:5
New International Version
5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.

John 3:1-7
New International Version
Now there was a Pharisee, a man named Nicodemus who was a member of the Jewish ruling council. 2 He came to Jesus at night and said, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the signs you are doing if God were not with him.”
3 Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.”
4 “How can someone be born when they are old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother’s womb to be born!”
5 Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. 6 Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. 7 You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’

 

[TransGuyReseekingChrist]

If you would be open to it, then maybe we could have a conversation about who you are in Christ because that is your true identity.​

I would definitely be open to that!

 

[passion84god]

I would definitely be open to that!

Unfortunately, I put in a request to have my account here deleted yesterday, so this will more than likely be my last correspondence with you. I hope that what I am about to say is of some help to you. Previously, you said:​

I felt like the only me is dead and I still feel that way. Like I’m a different me that survived.

In a very real sense, this is what the new birth is all about. When we come to realize that our lives are not what God intended them to be, the old us needs to die that we might be born again. The Apostle Paul put it this way:​

Rom 6:3
Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death?
Rom 6:4
Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.
Rom 6:5
For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection:
Rom 6:6
Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.

In a figurative sense, our old man or old nature needs to be crucified with Christ and then buried with him in baptism that we might be raised up from the dead by the glory of God and then walk in newness of life. This newness of life is what Jesus spoke of when he said that we must be born again or born of water and the Spirit, John 3:3-7. When the Spirit of God indwells us via this new spiritual rebirth, we then have the power within us to live the type of lives that God calls us to live. More than that, we become either sons or daughters of God, and being a child of God has its privileges. Jesus explained some of them here:

Jhn 17:20
Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word;
Jhn 17:21
That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.​

Jhn 17:22

And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one:
Jhn 17:23
I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.
Jhn 17:24
Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am; that they may behold my glory, which thou hast given me: for thou lovedst me before the foundation of the world.
Jhn 17:25
O righteous Father, the world hath not known thee: but I have known thee, and these have known that thou hast sent me.
Jhn 17:26
And I have declared unto them thy name, and will declare it: that the love wherewith thou hast loved me may be in them, and I in them.

Jesus prayed that those who would believe on him through the words of his apostles would be one with him and his Father, would one day share in his glory, and would know that God loves them as he has loved Jesus. According to scripture, Christians are the body of Christ, and Christ is the head of that body. God does not love the body any less than he loves the head. As a Christian, God now says that you are accepted in the beloved, Ephesians 1:6, or accepted in Christ. This is the revelation that you need because this is who you truly are if you have surrendered your life to God through Christ.

Apparently, my post is too long, so I will have to cut and paste part of it in the next post.​

 

[passion84god]

Furthermore, when Jesus was raised from the dead, he was raised up far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, Ephesians 1:21, or far above all the spiritual forces in this world that we are warring against. Similarly, this is what Paul said about you:​

Eph 2:1
And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins;
Eph 2:2
Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience:
Eph 2:3
Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others.
Eph 2:4
But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us,
Eph 2:5
Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved)
Eph 2:6
And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:
Eph 2:7
That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus.

If you have truly been crucified with Christ and buried with him in baptism, then you have also been quickened or made alive and been raised up and seated together in heavenly places in Christ. This is a truth that Satan will try to keep you from realizing. Pray to God to give you a revelation of who you truly are in Christ. Again, he loves you with the same love that he has for Jesus.

There is so much more that I could say, but my account will be deleted shortly. If you would ever like to continue this conversation, then you can reach me at the following email address:

[email protected]

I am praying for you.

God bless you.​

 

[Jesusgirl777]

Last summer I met a trans girl and became her friend. I suffer with BPD and a major area is chronic identity emptiness so I tend to take on others identities to fill in this gap (this is all from genetics and the way I was raised). So I think I was trying to figure out why I always felt weird in my body and thought I must be the opposite gender. But surprise surprise I still feel not myself and like I’m not complete. And yes that’s exactly what I meant. My depression is really heavy around family and my future, I worry about my career and college a lot and want to get the most out of it.
I learned being open is the most important part for feeling better and getting better.

Precious Kayla, I am praying for you, sister. I can't even imagine what you have been going through, but I know it is extremely hard. I am no counselor but I can share what I have learned: There is hope for you because there is Jesus. There is hope for everyone because there is Jesus. I am blessed to know that despite everything you are seeking out Christ and trying to rebuild a relationship with Him. He loves you. Jesus understands your struggles and pain. Continue to pray and trust Him.

Your career, your future, your life are in His Hands. My life is a testimony of this.

After one of the hardest times of my life, I had prayed in brokenness, "God, help me not go away from You." And God mercifully helped me not to backslide. When I had to rebuild my life again after reaching the age of 38, I asked God for help, and He helped me tremendously. I was pursuing a certification course in the hope of getting a good job. The people in my batch were intelligent, highly capable, and very experienced. I was an average performer while there were others who were exceptional, but it was I who was the first one to get a job and a good one. This only happened because of Jesus. I didn't and don't have the ability to do better than others in the interview. Also, before enrolling for this course, I had to give a declaration that I was physically and mentally fit as the course was very demanding. I wasn't in the best of my health and emotions, but I prayed. I was still dealing with trauma and rejection, but God helped me despite my mental, emotional, and physical weaknesses.


I know sister, our Lord God Almighty will take care of you, your career, your life. He is no respector of persons. What He did for me, He will do for you and more. Just don't let go of Jesus even when you don't understand things and even when life is unfair. Jesus is never unfair. Also, trust His timeline. He is always on time and never late.

 

[elise34]

Hi Reid ^ ^*/

I understand the struggle over your identity and the bible makes it clear that we are a new creation in christ [2 Corinthians 5:17] and we need to focus on who God says we are and not what we think we are or feel we are because we do not live by the flesh (which is the desire outside God on the soul level)

And John 1:12 reminds us that we are called children of God, so basically our identity is find in christ. It's so easy to find our identity in the world and neglect what God says we are but it's that simple, we are who he says we are

Everyone has something to overcome and God says in 1 John 5:4-5 ESV =

( For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world, our faith.

Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the son of God? )

We aren't perfect but He is

I would encourage you not to give up because God rewards those who diligently seek Him ( Hebrews 11:6 )

Just be aware that you will experience spiritual warfare the closer you want to be near God

But don't worry because He gives you peace ( John 14:27 )

Hope this encourages you, don't stop seeking and God will reward you

God bless

 

[TransGuyReseekingChrist]

Hi Reid ^ ^*/

I understand the struggle over your identity and the bible makes it clear that we are a new creation in christ [2 Corinthians 5:17] and we need to focus on who God says we are and not what we think we are or feel we are because we do not live by the flesh (which is the desire outside God on the soul level)

And John 1:12 reminds us that we are called children of God, so basically our identity is find in christ. It's so easy to find our identity in the world and neglect what God says we are but it's that simple, we are who he says we are

Everyone has something to overcome and God says in 1 John 5:4-5 ESV =

( For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world, our faith.

Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the son of God? )

We aren't perfect but He is

I would encourage you not to give up because God rewards those who diligently seek Him ( Hebrews 11:6 )

Just be aware that you will experience spiritual warfare the closer you want to be near God

But don't worry because He gives you peace ( John 14:27 )

Hope this encourages you, don't stop seeking and God will reward you

God bless

Thank you!!