Handling an argument!!!

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renewed_hope said:
Well, whether you like it or not all relationships have drama....and just because people have arguments does not mean their life is full of drama. There are things that happen in any and all relationships that you disagree with and I don't find it to be a waste of time....it can bring people closer together :)
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IF it is "handled" properly... ;)
 
i handle arguments badly, with very little tact, and usually come across as though i'm 'talking down to' people, in an almost condescending way.

or else i am cryptic and seemingly detached from the whole situation, often talking about wholly unrelated things giving the impression that the point of contention isn't even worth mentioning, which also can be offensive to one or more parties, as though i don't care a whit for what their emotions have become inflamed over.

badly, tactlessly.
 
here's the better way, though:

For lack of wood the fire goes out,
And where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down.
(Proverbs 6:20)

​
i'm not always ignorant, but i sure don't always apply what i know. when i put something like this, more often than not i'm pointing out my own failures as much as i'm pointing towards The Narrow Way.
 
GaryA said:
I find it veeerry interesting that you wrote the title with - not one - not two - but - three - exclamation marks... :D :p

;)
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I find it interesting that you noticed how many exclamation marks I used lol. I wasn't even paying attention.....three just happens to be where my finger stopped haha! :p;)
 
I don't handle it well, it's one of my biggest faults. I'm not confrontational, arguing sucks the life out of me. To avoid it I keep things in but I can't hide my feelings very well. I know it's unhealthy in a relationship and I need to work on it. Thats another reason I believe finding the right partner is so important. Everyone has strengths and weakness but together we can create a balance.
 
Following SeekingFamily around I saw this post.

The easiest way I find in conflict resolution is knowing their personality type. If you go to 16personalities.com, I'm INFP which is a mediator. Lessening debates is easy for me. People often forget that debates are either opinions or facts, placing facts into the debate when others are placing emotions / opinions is usually my strategy. Even in CC, I'm currently viewing a debate about beating to change a person's behaviour - My post was simply that there are more scriptures about love and being ggentle to another human being than the scriptures about pain and rod/corporal punishments.
 
I focused my initial reply in terms of interpersonal relationships between men and women.

Among other people that I don't have that kind of connection to, I don't handle arguments well. I know I don't, and most of the time I just avoid them, even if it makes me look bad. If something I say gets somebody's hackles up, I will either antagonize them if I think it will be amusing and I think they have no idea how to argue properly, OR, I just shut down the cycle of communication and let them eat silence.

I am a very smug person, and I talk down to people a lot. I do it, even though I am often not conscious of it. Sometimes, I am just speaking at a level above them, and it angers me to have to drop it down a notch or two to get my point across. I don't feel I should have to do that. If someone can't keep up, they ought not to step up.

By and large though, I am much better now than I used to be. Even though I am still a wreck, you should have seen me years ago. It's no surprise why I have no friends, and that's fine, but I am doing a lot better handling interactions with people than I used to. I very often type out some flaming response to some jerk here, and then just delete it all. Typing it out without publishing it is often enough...the pressure has been released. Sometimes though, I have fun at someone's expense and decide not to resist the urge to read their pedigree to them in public. I'm kind of a psycho like that.

Meh...
 
renewed_hope said:
Ladies and Gents.....the title says it all. We all argue and have disagreements, but how do you handle them? Are you one that lets it go or do you have to win them? Please be honest.....
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I handle them poorly, so I'm trying to avoid them.
 
Is it just me or do women hate it when men shut down and say absolutely NOTHING (and maybe even walk away) when they are ready to argue? :o
 
I come with what I think but if he would correct me then I'd cease. I want answers so I'm not confused.... It does irritate me to get nothing..
mailmandan said:
Is it just me or do women hate it when men shut down and say absolutely NOTHING (and maybe even walk away) when they are ready to argue? :o
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Zi said:
I come with what I think but if he would correct me then I'd cease. I want answers so I'm not confused.... It does irritate me to get nothing..
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There have been times in the past that my wife was upset with me about something and she was ready for an argument, but I simply shut down and went into the other room to watch TV. Big mistake! That just made it even worse! I wasn't getting off that easy. :o
 
120547-William-Penn-Quote-We-need-to-stop-arguing-about-Christ-and-start.jpg

(Romans 12:3): ...New American Standard Bible (NASB)

3 For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.

I stay prayerful all day, and when the flames hit the room;
I let My God have the reigns. The test of my character, is if I will not let my rights interfere.
But God has shown me that I have no more rights; Instead I understand I have liberty to choose Him over all things.
Have I failed in this? I have! Satan has gotten to me thru useless self-awareness from time to time. But, He is having victory in me all the more solidified in Him as I press on in grasping that to which He first grasped in me. Receiving understanding only comes full circle and well anchored after Positional Salvation meets experiential
Salvation. Thus, on with the experiencing! On with the living as Christ lived practice.

My ex had many of Satan's tools to test me.
Needless to say then, my Character has been forged in Christ,
as I yield to His authority in those moments. :).

~ Thank God for spiritual living, and His power in loving well! ~​
 
laura_charlotte said:
Of course it's not you. They're looking for an audience.
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Ahhhhhhhhhh - so the truth comes out! :D



Uh - does this mean that she would be willing to argue with someone else - anyone else - provided that they will listen?



Job Description:

"Men pay me to take their place and argue with their wives..."

:o
 
renewed_hope said:
I find it interesting that you noticed how many exclamation marks I used lol. I wasn't even paying attention.....three just happens to be where my finger stopped haha! :p;)
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I'm just glad your finger didn't drift across the keys - !@#$% - or, you would have been cussing at us :p - which is not the best way to handle an argument... ;)
 
I like to argue. I find it clears the air, gets things out. It's better out than in, I think. If I can talk about things, I can get over it and not stew. I am probably justifying my argumentative personality. :(
 
Galatea said:
I like to argue. I find it clears the air, gets things out. It's better out than in, I think. If I can talk about things, I can get over it and not stew. I am probably justifying my argumentative personality. :(
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As long as we remain in love, and remain in the attitude of (Ephesians 5:21): "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." This is simply called communication. The question is How is the other party taking it? The same way? If not, you are still covered with God under this plan thru righteousness..





 
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slave said:
As long as we remain in love, and remain in the attitude of (Ephesians 5:21): "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." This is simply called communication. The question is How is the other party taking it? The same way?
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It depends on the person. Some people I can not argue with and some people I can.
 
Galatea said:
I like to argue. I find it clears the air, gets things out. It's better out than in, I think. If I can talk about things, I can get over it and not stew. I am probably justifying my argumentative personality. :(
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"Surely you jest..." :eek:

There is a big difference between "talking things out" and arguing. You can "get things out" without arguing at all. And, all you need for that is someone who is willing to 'discuss' without arguing. ( As long as you are also willing to do the same. )

Arguing is adversarial. Why would anyone want to argue? A sub-conscious psychological reason, perhaps?

Are you sure you don't simply mean that you would like for others to sympathetically listen to your side of the issue?

( You are just "testing the waters", aren't you...? :D When will you "let us off the hook" by telling us that you were only "pulling our leg"...? :p )

;)
 
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