T
Tinuviel
Guest
Those of you who have written flash-fiction know that the most difficult thing is getting an understandable story and sympathetic characters into so few words! Here is a piece that I submitted to a flash fiction contest several months ago. Enjoy 
Hansuke
Hansuke woke in a cold sweat, calling her name. Kiaya. He jumped up. He could not sleep when Kiaya was dead. Dead. She had been so full of joy, and his people had killed her. Like it had happened yesterday, he remembered her as she shoved the papers into his hands; “this is the Life I was not able to share with your people. Keep it, little brother…and remember me.” He had not known then. But Kiaya had. He had never seen her again.
He reached inside his shirt and touched the papers. He had not read them yet. He made his way towards the thick jungle. Hansuke found a path and followed it. When he found a fallen log, he sat down and waited for the dawn.
The sun rose slowly in the sky, creating warmth wherever it touched. Hansuke took out the papers and began to read the story that Kiaya had translated into his language.
It was a story about a baby. The paper said the baby was the Son of God. The baby grew into a man, and other men killed Him. The story said that He died so that people could live, because He loved them. Then there was a miracle and he came alive again, so He could take away the chains of sin that bound His people.
“I cannot believe it.” Hansuke’s voice was hard. “If Kiaya believed in You, why didn’t You save her? A vision. I will not believe unless I see.”
He waited. Silence. Nothingness.
Suddenly he was startled by a sound behind him. He turned to see a wild animal, and the hair along the back of his neck stood on end with fear; but the animal did not seem to even notice him. Its hide was deeply scored with the marks left by a whip lash, and a broken chain hung around the creature’s neck; a look of freedom and contentment filled its eyes. Hansuke blinked, and the animal was gone.
He gasped. A vision. Falling to his knees, he raised his eyes to heaven. "To the God of Kiaya. The God who died and lives. To the God of love. Break my chain. I believe.”
Hansuke
Hansuke woke in a cold sweat, calling her name. Kiaya. He jumped up. He could not sleep when Kiaya was dead. Dead. She had been so full of joy, and his people had killed her. Like it had happened yesterday, he remembered her as she shoved the papers into his hands; “this is the Life I was not able to share with your people. Keep it, little brother…and remember me.” He had not known then. But Kiaya had. He had never seen her again.
He reached inside his shirt and touched the papers. He had not read them yet. He made his way towards the thick jungle. Hansuke found a path and followed it. When he found a fallen log, he sat down and waited for the dawn.
The sun rose slowly in the sky, creating warmth wherever it touched. Hansuke took out the papers and began to read the story that Kiaya had translated into his language.
It was a story about a baby. The paper said the baby was the Son of God. The baby grew into a man, and other men killed Him. The story said that He died so that people could live, because He loved them. Then there was a miracle and he came alive again, so He could take away the chains of sin that bound His people.
“I cannot believe it.” Hansuke’s voice was hard. “If Kiaya believed in You, why didn’t You save her? A vision. I will not believe unless I see.”
He waited. Silence. Nothingness.
Suddenly he was startled by a sound behind him. He turned to see a wild animal, and the hair along the back of his neck stood on end with fear; but the animal did not seem to even notice him. Its hide was deeply scored with the marks left by a whip lash, and a broken chain hung around the creature’s neck; a look of freedom and contentment filled its eyes. Hansuke blinked, and the animal was gone.
He gasped. A vision. Falling to his knees, he raised his eyes to heaven. "To the God of Kiaya. The God who died and lives. To the God of love. Break my chain. I believe.”