Heart break

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Loved4life

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Lately, I have been so unsure about my life.. Here is my story...

I grew up going to a Catholic church. We went to church on Christmas and Easter and that's pretty much it. I never felt a true connection to God. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 15, and I had family issues to deal with. I considered myself a Christian but never understood fully what it meant to be a Christian.

I met my husband when I was 15 years-old and married two years ago. At about the 5th year of dating he took me to his church. This church was completely different than what I was use to. It was Pentecostal. At first, I was surprised how different this place was than my previous church. I grew to love it and went every Sunday.

When my husband and I moved, we found a church a few minutes down the street from us. This is a non-denominational Christian church . The music is contemporary and the pastor is great to listen to. I truly feel uplifted and want to be Christ-like when I go here. The messages make me think about who I am, who I want to be and what I can do to achieve my goal.

The person that I want to be, is not who I feel that I am at this point. Several months ago, I truly feel that my soul became under attack. I woke up one night terrified. I had seen a horrible evil image in my dream. I thought about that dream a few days after, but eventually forgot about it. After that I started having terrible thoughts. Thoughts that I would never dream of. I went two months without saying anything but eventually couldn't hold it in any longer. I spoke with a pastor, a therapist, my husband and my mother. My therapist diagnosed me with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I may actually have this disorder but I feel that it is deeper than that. I feel that the devil wants me to turn from God. He is wanting me to give up my fight and to forget that Jesus ever gave his life for me.

I am so confused. I have so much guilt, sadness, and fear that I cry daily. I cry out for forgiveness and peace. I want to be with my Father in Heaven when I die. I am so terrified to go to hell. The devil or hell could never offer any goodness for me. I will not give up my fight and I will walk with Jesus. I will do all that I can to make him proud of me. I just pray for these awful thoughts and feelings to leave, SOON!

Thank you for listening. Please pray for me.
 
That doesn't sound like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder at all. That is when people feel the need to repeat certain actions or words dozens of times every day. It comes from a neurotransmitter imbalance in the brain. No. This sounds like an attack of a spiritual sort like you said. Have you ever read Job in the Holy Bible? Just because you're being attacked by Satan doesn't mean that you are at fault. God tests our faith. And Hebrews 12:6 says: For the LORD disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as His child.

It's clear that this is an attack of Satan rather than your own construction because 1. no one has control a bad dream 2. you admitted to it to lots of people
If that's not true, and you are feeding them, then I'm wrong. But either way, you're job is to learn to control your thought life. Every Christian should know that demons have the power to tempt our fallen minds, but even though our minds are corrupted there's a gate keeper to your head. Every time a bad thought comes, seize it and kill it so it doesn't wreak havoc to your mind. A bad thought, if left to itself, will turn into a dozen more. That's just how our minds work. It's a fact of neuroscience. Replace it with a good thought, or even better a promise of God. Or you could start singing a gospel song. I have bipolar disorder. That's why I know so much about controlling my thoughts. I live a happy life because I know the secrets that work. It's found right in the Holy Bible believe it or not!

2 Corinthians 10:5 "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." I live by this verse. If you truely do have a biological weakness like me, then it's easier for demons to take advantage of your mind. But that's nothing to fear, because in battling them you will be granted the opportunity to strengthen your spirit the way other people don't.


You don't have anything to fear. Only continue in your diligence in pleasing God. After all, we DO have the VICTORY IN CHRIST JESUS!!! I'm praying for you.
 
Thanks for the reply. When I talked to my thearapist about OCD and how I was confused why I didn't have any compulsions to go with the disturbing thoughts, she said I may not necessarly have the conpulsions. I do believe that evil sees my weakness as an opportunity to sin and turn away from what is right.And I do like your suggestion to sing a gospel song when I have these thoughts. I have been listening and singing these songs non stop. They are truly uplifting. Please continue to pray for me. I appreciate it greatly.
 
You're talking about having guilt. Guilt over what? Guilt is what the devil uses to hold us down. Conviction is what the Holy Spirit uses to let us know we're wrong. Guilt brings depression, sadness, unworthiness, and all sorts of negative feelings. Conviction brings us awareness and to repentance. Conviction does not condemn us. So if you're guilty feeling that is the enemy.
Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
 
Just to add to the other 2 posters:

In my opinion you do not have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder...

There is a saying, 'we cannot stop the crows from flying over our chimneys, but we can stop them from nesting in it.' What this means is that we cannot stop thoughts from entering our mind but we can stop them from seeding and taking root to start nagging us and giving us grief. When a negative accusing thought enters the mind simply resist and ignore it...

When nagging, accusing and seducing thoughts enter your mind they are from an external source, demons love to energise these evil thoughts into the minds of mankind, especially Christians to cause them great suffering.

Eph 2v2 (also see Eph 6v10-20) states: 'in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience.'

Although this Scrpture refers to the 'sons of disobedience' ie, the unsaved, the principle holds true for Christians as well.

The Greek word for 'works' is 'energoúntos' the present active participle of 'energeo' which means to be active, efficient and to energize, this Greek word is the word we get our word 'energy' from.

So, what is happening to you is that demons (who are external to you, ie some distance away from your body) are energizing evil seducing and condeming thought into your mind, these evil thought MUST be resisted, the best way is simply to ignore them (occupy yourself with some activity which you have to think about) and the demon which is doing it, usually gets tired of it when it sees you are not responding to it and stops it until it comes up with some other line of attack upon your thoughts. James 4v6,7.

It is important to note that these demons are external to you, they are NOT in you, let me just repeat this, they are NOT in you, as God would NEVER let one of His dearly beloved children, Whom He loves just like He loves Jesus, be possessed by an unclean spirit (demon)! John 15v9, 17v23.

You (and this goes for ALL christian) are protected by God in many different ways, see the following Scriptures: Luke 10v19, John 17v11,12, 1Pet 1v3-5, 1John 5v18.

If you read Job chapters 1 & 2, you will see that Job had a hedge around not only himself, but his family and all his household and that the Devil could not get anywhere near him until God gave him permission to test his faith, for the purpose of perfecting his faith, patience and character and Job was not even under the blood of the Passover lamb, like the Israelites were when they came out of Egypt, but you and ALL christians (are under and) have been washed in the blood of the TRUE Passover Lamb, the Lord Jesus! Rev 1v5, 12v11.

So, apart from resisting the Devil, singing gospel songs and hymns will also help, also just praise the Lord Jesus, this will bring His Presence down upon you and fill you with joy and will enhance the wall of divine power and protection around you. Neh 8v10.

Also remember that the Lord Jesus is interceding for you ever second of ever day, which also gives you great protection. Heb 7v25.

The bottom line is, the Christian is ALWAYS guarded and protected by God by the fact of His Presence with them! Matt 28v20, Heb 13v5.

Yahweh Shalom...
 
Just to add to my last post, if you are baptised in the Holy Spirit, use your Heavenly language to praise the Lord with, this also will bring God's Presence upon you in a considerable measure...
 
Read my signature!!!! :) Its true!!!! When you get close to the Lord, the devil will come after you and try to bring you down. He dosent want you to be close to God. He dosent want you to do Gods will!!! He dosent want you to learn and spread his word. Fear is not from the Lord. Its from Satan. I get attacked all day long, every day. Watch this!!!!!!
Lifehouse Everything Skit [Original] - YouTube

WHen the devil tries to come after me and he tries to convince me or tempt me of something, i think of this video and Gods love. No matter what we do, how far we stray, God is always there with his arms wide open, wanting to help and bless us!!!

I think your doing good, with going to church and getting closer to God. Just remember, that the Lord has already won the battle.....The devil will lose!!! :)
 
Have you tried talking to a priest? If you feel you are being oppressed by a daemon then perhaps a priest can help. At the very least, a simple blessing will always do some good.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using Tapatalk
 
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
(Al-Faatihah 1:1)
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Praise be to Allah, the Cherisher and Sustainer of the worlds;
(Al-Faatihah 1:2)
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Most Gracious, Most Merciful;
(Al-Faatihah 1:3)

Master of the Day of Judgment.
(Al-Faatihah 1:4)
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Thee do we worship, and Thine aid we seek.
(Al-Faatihah 1:5)
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Show us the straight way,
(Al-Faatihah 1:6)
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The way of those on whom Thou hast bestowed Thy Grace, those whose (portion) is not wrath, and who go not astray.
(Al-Faatihah 1:7)

I'm sure your motive was correct for posting the above but portions of the Qur'an (The Opener) would be more suitable in a Muslim forum as Christians do not accept the Qur'an as being divinely inspired...

Yahweh Shalom...