Heart broken by the men I thought who loved me but saved by the one man named JESUS

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prayer-warrior

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Heart broken is two words used in many ways but what people don't realize is the level of pains that come with being a heart broken person. Last year I lost my best friend of my life aka my papa. Rite after losing him the other men in my family turned against me because of certain decisions I made in my past. Then the man that I was staying with for ten years decided to go have quite a few affairs on me that I didn't know about because I was working so hard to fix my grandmothers house an hour away everyday after my papa past. He verbally told me the reason why he went back to his ex and talk to other girls was because I wasn't there for him. But I left anyway and now I feel so heart broken. Now I am taking care of my granny wit Gods help and stepping up to be a woman who doesn't have a man at her side. To be honest I cant believe I left my sons father because we have been through so much and ten years but at the same time I think I deserve better. It is like this I was in my darkest hour and I needed him to be there and be my backbone instead he felt left out and I worked everyday wit people I hired on my grannys house. I don't think since now I am doing so good for myself and he wants me back but if he couldn't be there when it was hard why should I forgive him and let him come destroy me all over again. But I do need advice on how to live being lonely without a mans company. I know I made right decision but being alone just gives me too much time to think about how he hurt me and the other men in my life. God has helped me get through this I just need some good advice from my brothers and sisters in Christ on how to be strong alone? I have never been on my own like I am now. My family has turn around ask for forgiveness and so has my sons father but I just don't know how because I have been hurt so badly.
 
and believe it or not God was preparing me throughout all of it for the big finale of finding out about my ex husband. God saved me two months before I found out about all the betrayals. I am glad he did because my attitude back then would have caused me to flip out and him and the females and I would have been the one I jail no enjoying my life. I just hope and pray God sends a good man to me because I am a good woman. I have dreams and want to finish accomplishing them. I just wish I had a male around I could trust and cuddle with. I am not asking anyone to date me I am just saying I wish I knew how to get over this cuz im tired of feeling so lonely it would be nice to have some male company