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NeedAMiracle
Guest
I know I've mentioned the fact that I'm having to give up my dog in another thread or two, but I'm really, really, having a rough time dealing with this! I weep uncontrollably 2,3,4 times a day. There hasn't been many times where my heart hasn't sunk into my knees just from looking at her. I have to be out of my apartment in eight days, and I don't know if I'm going to be able to find a home for her, or have to surrender to a (hopefully) no-kill shelter. I can't even go online to look for shelters without breaking down. She's been with me, and basically my life for 12 years. I don't think I can do this!! I'm begging God to not make her, and I have to go through with this, but the the realistic side of me just don't see it happening. I'm asking for a miracle, but I don't see it as part of God's plan. I'm asking Him to help me through this all, and give me strength to endure. I feel as though, as with Job, everything is being taken away. I haven't broken out in blisters yet, but I did break 3 ribs, and damage my coccyx. I'm being spiritually, and emotinally broken, and I know it. I'm just afraid as to what I'll be like if I don't get this miracle, and have to endure this pain. Will God give me the grace, and strength to get through?? Right now, I don't think I have the faith to trust He will. But I'm asking for it. Sincerely too, I think. If God somehow works this miracle, will I be grateful, or will I go back to living life without Him again? I really can't answer that honestly. I'd like to think I would be grateful. All I know is that He's brought me to my knees, by taking away the one thing (besides my human family) that matters the most to me. I love my dog SO much, and she loves me!! Why couldn't have God done this sooner, or in some other way, where I her, or I could still be together?! He's the Almighty, and the Omnipotent!! He has the ability to change minds, and change hearts. Just one change of events (any event!) could've altered my life, and put it on a different course. All the other Hell I've been through in the past 2 years, I can understand. But this just doesn't seem FAIR! It doesn't seem RIGHT! How is this GODS WILL?!
Anyway, I'm here now, and I actually opened my bible, and glanced over a few chapters for a little while last night. We'll see where He leads me.
Anyway, I'm here now, and I actually opened my bible, and glanced over a few chapters for a little while last night. We'll see where He leads me.