Heavy heart

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HisOwnSheep

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Its been a long time since I've ever been on a chat site or forum self help type site in a long time.

But the thing is I'm 26 and I'm scared. Scared about the future, scared about what Jesus may ask of me, and scared that I'm not willing to give it. I think I have a lot of the answers most of the time and know a lot of verses that I'd tell people in my situation right now, but I think I just need to here it somewhere else. I don't know. Maybe I'm just pushing things off yet again and just denying the inevitable, but I lost my job today and I don't really know what to do. I've been accepted to go back to college and frankly as cool as it is, I'm scared. I've moved around all my life and because of it I never get close to people or places really. I'm outgoing and love to help and do things and say "YES," but right now I just don't know. I've withdrawn into myself like I used to do before I got saved, and because of it I am out of a job. I don't know how or where or why I'm here now. I have ideas, but I'm nowhere I figured I'd be 2 and a half years after I first got saved. Scared to make choices, scared to be loved, scared to love, scared to do anything that I frankly just sit still. I know it's silly or at least it seems that way, but being a guy who's been through a lot (drugs, military/overseas, and such) I can't believe I'm so debilitated that I can't Do.

I just need to pray and be prayed for and maybe get a good cry in. Thanks for listening.
 
P.S. I know it's a community and not a self-help site. Just blabbing in the moment lol.
 
Just know that God will bring you through this time in your life. If you aren't in a Bible centered church it would be a great idea for you to join one so you aren't alienating yourself from other believers. Don't play the blame game with yourself. You are where you're at because that's where God has placed you so be encouraged and stay close to the Lord during this time. In all things trust Him!!
 
I have felt the same as you many times. There's a song line that asks, "Am I doing everything to do your will?" And deep inside I know the answer is "no." There's always a part of us that wants to hold on to our own control, our own destiny, our own desires. Somehow it's frightening to totally surrender to God. But once you do, amazing things start to happen.

Look up Isaiah 50: 10-11. It offers great hope for those who let go and let God, and has a stern warning for those that don't.
 
Hi Heavy heart,
We're all scared so don't let that throw you ;)
You've been a Christian for only two years - have you been trying to grow in the faith seriously? Are you attending Church regularly, fellow-shipping with other Christians (esp. mature Christians), studying the Bible in depth, and praying often? Not everyone likes socializing but you need to interact with other Christians. You can still have loner personality and be a Christian but God put a need in us for other people (whether we like it or not).
This is rather personal but how did you lose your job?
You might have lost your job because God has something else in mind for you. Going back to school sounds good. Getting back into the study mode can be hard-is it REALLY what you want to do or are you going just because you don't know what else to do? If you're not motivated you might just be wasting your money.
A mission trip is always an eye-opener. Great attitude adjuster.
Use this time to grow closer to God and seek His will for your life. Remember that the devil is trying to destroy you- don't let him!
 
There are so many helpful Posts on here already but I iwll still add my 2 cents or so :0). I am 27, I have done the military thing, I am currently doing the going back to school thing. Its hard. No lie. Not gonna sugar coat it. Not that I am not smart but it can be frustrating getting back in the game. I have been trying to rebuild my raltionship with Christ for the past 4 yrs and its been a bumpy ride. I def agree that finding a solid church home and reaching out to mature Christians is one of the most important things you could do for yourself right now. Find people who will care for you and what happenes to your soul. People who can help you grow in Christ and lovingly hold you accountable if you start to fall away. I surely don't think I could have come this far if God hadn't placed those types of people in my life. i will be praying for you and wish you the best of luck in whatever road you decide to take.
 
Thanks.

I am in a nice bible believing church and have been ever since I've gotten saved. It's been amazing the road Christ has led me down. Saving me from Drugs, Sexual Relationships, and homelessness. But even after all that being said I've seen Him move to deeply in my life in so many powerful ways it's just been amazing. I know He's always there, but I am ok. I guess I was just scared that I'm not the same Christian or Man I used to be. I used to be so sold out for Christ I once walked over 680+ miles just because I heard a whisper. I've been discipled ever since I've been saved and I don't know if there's a day that goes by I don't wish I could do something to advance His kingdom. I just get overwhelmed with the fact I'm not as open or free to Christ as I used to be. I often don't jump at open doors or I'll often doubt the very act that He or I could do something. I know what I've gained throughout the years as a Christian is been amazing, but I often doubt the fact if it ever really helped me since I don't act upon God's will anymore like I used to. I am scared because I am unsure if I can ever get back to that point in my life and if the case may be, will I want to?

I'm scared of giving in. I know it's is funny, that the very thing I am preaching that gives life is the thing I am scared about. That I won't be me anymore, but not my own. I'll be His.
 
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HisOwnSheep said:
Thanks.

I am in a nice bible believing church and have been ever since I've gotten saved. It's been amazing the road Christ has led me down. Saving me from Drugs, Sexual Relationships, and homelessness. But even after all that being said I've seen Him move to deeply in my life in so many powerful ways it's just been amazing. I know He's always there, but I am ok. I guess I was just scared that I'm not the same Christian or Man I used to be. I used to be so sold out for Christ I once walked over 680+ miles just because I heard a whisper. I've been discipled ever since I've been saved and I don't know if there's a day that goes by I don't wish I could do something to advance His kingdom. I just get overwhelmed with the fact I'm not as open or free to Christ as I used to be. I often don't jump at open doors or I'll often doubt the very act that He or I could do something. I know what I've gained throughout the years as a Christian is been amazing, but I often doubt the fact if it ever really helped me since I don't act upon God's will anymore like I used to. I am scared because I am unsure if I can ever get back to that point in my life and if the case may be, will I want to?

I'm scared of giving in. I know it's is funny, that the very thing I am preaching that gives life is the thing I am scared about. That I won't be me anymore, but not my own. I'll be His.
Click to expand...

I think our walk with God changes it's tone over time. I, too, experienced about 5-6 years of being very open to God's leading...reading and studying more and more compassionate toward people. Maybe that's due to the Holy Spirit's 'quickening' us. It's hard to sustain it. Kind of like marriage- the first few years are easy but it's gets harder with time.

Is this good or bad? Maybe neither...just reality. We have to work harder, I think, to stay in the race and to finish well. I use to picture Paul's analogy of the Christian life as a race like a running track, free from obstacles. But actually, it's more like an obstacle course! After awhile, we're tempted to just quit...but that's when we really need to make ourselves stick to it. Disappointments/failures mount up after a time and CAN make us feel defeated if we let them.

It helps to know the enemy and how he (Satan) plays on our fallen nature to get us to quit. Don't do it! Stay as healthy as possible (physically, mentally, emotionally) so you can stay in the race.
 
Dear HisOwnSheep,

To expand on what Lucy68 is saying, toward the end of his life the Apostle Paul said, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day..." (2 Timothy 4:7-8, emphasis added) The implication is clear, I believe. Being a believer is not easy, and we really shouldn't expect it to get easier as we go along. Paul faced prodigious obstacles throughout his Christian walk; beatings, shipwrecks, imprisonment, yet he perservered in the firm belief that the Gospel of Jesus Christ was the most important message which mankind had ever heard.

I truly believe that Christianity is a journey, not a destination. While our salvation may come in that singular moment when we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, the rest our lives is devoted to striving to become more like Him. What you are experiencing is not unusual. Doubt and uncertainty are the devil's best tools to drive a wedge between God and his followers (us).

I would suggest that you start each day with Scripture, especially those passages which emphasize God's compassion and mercy. Romans 5:1-11 and Ephesians 2:1-10 are two passages which come to mind. Psalm 145 also emphasizes God's compassion, goodness and faithfulness. Close your eyes and try to feel God's love surrounding you. Listen for Jesus' voice, calling you into fellowship with Him. And remember, every sin you have ever committed or will commit was washed away by Christ's blood on the cross. You don't have to bring anything to the table.

God does not expect you to do anything specific in order to please Him. He wants you to desire a deep, meaningful relationship with Him. If you continue to work on this daily, everything else will take care of itself. Trust Him. He loves you and He always will.

God bless you.
 
dmdave17 said:
Dear HisOwnSheep,

To expand on what Lucy68 is saying, toward the end of his life the Apostle Paul said, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day..." (2 Timothy 4:7-8, emphasis added) The implication is clear, I believe. Being a believer is not easy, and we really shouldn't expect it to get easier as we go along. Paul faced prodigious obstacles throughout his Christian walk; beatings, shipwrecks, imprisonment, yet he perservered in the firm belief that the Gospel of Jesus Christ was the most important message which mankind had ever heard.

I truly believe that Christianity is a journey, not a destination. While our salvation may come in that singular moment when we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, the rest our lives is devoted to striving to become more like Him. What you are experiencing is not unusual. Doubt and uncertainty are the devil's best tools to drive a wedge between God and his followers (us).

I would suggest that you start each day with Scripture, especially those passages which emphasize God's compassion and mercy. Romans 5:1-11 and Ephesians 2:1-10 are two passages which come to mind. Psalm 145 also emphasizes God's compassion, goodness and faithfulness. Close your eyes and try to feel God's love surrounding you. Listen for Jesus' voice, calling you into fellowship with Him. And remember, every sin you have ever committed or will commit was washed away by Christ's blood on the cross. You don't have to bring anything to the table.

God does not expect you to do anything specific in order to please Him. He wants you to desire a deep, meaningful relationship with Him. If you continue to work on this daily, everything else will take care of itself. Trust Him. He loves you and He always will.

God bless you.
Click to expand...


Very well said! Thanks for expanding :)
 
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