Hello- Any help & suggestions are welcome!

[dr-jon]

Hello.
I am a new forum member. I am a Physician. I have a friend that can really use helpful advice. At this point, I really don't know what to say to him. Possibly knowledgeable forum members can help? I have a friend who has had what most would term "Very Bad Luck" most of his life. He had a very bad or toxic childhood due to dysfunctional parents / toxic environment (drinking , mental illness and two parents that were incapable and fought all the time) . As an adult my friend never seemed to have any long term happiness. He faced serious financial hardships most of his life, his wife passed away after a devastating illness etc. He really believes that he may be under a Generational curse.

I never knew much about curses. However, I did find passages in the old testament relating to curses etc. I also read some literature online about the same thing. It does say that some curses are "very real". It game some examples. I am sad to say that the examples seem to fit my friend's life exactly. My friend is starting to believe in the curse also. If it's true than i is his parents fault. Just what he confided in me about his Mothers behavior as well as his father. It is such a shame because he is such a nice guy that really tried.

I really feel that his parents (based on what i was told) were very bad sinners and possibly evil in some ways. Which is not his fault at all. However, I believe the parents evil acts and immorality could have been passed to him. He has done everything possible to live a stable life etc. But it seems no matter what he does he ends up dealing with another tragedy and financial problems always seem to be present no matter what he does. He is starting to become so warn out after years of battling these unfortunate happenings that he appears to be giving up mentally and physically. Which i understand. How much can a person take. My friend is a Christian. However, because of the reoccurring pattern of events throughout his life he takes a grim view on God and Religion etc. Which I can understand. He feels that God and life dealt him a unfair hand. Which he just can't accept. Therefore- I guess you could say he is angry with God.

My questions?
Do you believe that a curse is what is occurring here? I know people have hard times in life. However, when it's an occurring all the time no matteer what the person does.you have to begin to wonder? I can understand if a person doesn't try. However, i must say my friend has over tried and things always seem to turn out negative.
If that is what is occurring here? Do you feel in a sense God is unfair and that this person is taking the rap for what his sinful parents did? The bad experiences in his life have soured his belief in God and severely tarnished his faith.

I know you must take accountabiluty for your own life, which he definitely does. However, if he is suffering due ot his parents previous actions then blame should be placed upon them.
What can be done? Thank you.

 

[GRACE_ambassador]

Precious friend @dr-jon, I will pray for you and your friend:

Please Be Very Richly Encouraged And Edified And
Comforted In Christ, and In His Precious Word Of Truth:

1) Make sure he is a Grace believer and Not "under The Wrath Of God":

The Three Tenses Of God's Eternal Salvation! = Grace, Peace, Mercy, And Love!

2) Then share This with him: God's Grace Word for our infirmities!

Amen.

 

[dr-jon]

Precious friend @dr-jon, I will pray for you and your friend:

Please Be Very Richly Encouraged And Edified And
Comforted In Christ, and In His Precious Word Of Truth:

1) Make sure he is a Grace believer and Not "under The Wrath Of God":

The Three Tenses Of God's Eternal Salvation! = Grace, Peace, Mercy, And Love!

2) Then share This with him: God's Grace Word for our infirmities!

Amen.

Thank you for the reply.....as i mnetioned, I can't provide the kind of help my friend needs. I am Physician and can only provide physical help & healing. Do you feel from what I shared that he could be suffering from a Generational type curse? I only say this because according from what he told me, he has been suffering most of his life childhood, teen years, twenties thru his kate forties? Can you be under God's wrath for sins committed or passed down from a parental lineage? The Bible does discuss this in the old testament.

 

[Templar62]

welcome to Christian chat

 

[LoProfile]

Welcome from Northern Nevada

I do not believe generational curses are legitimate for believers.
Jesus has broken every chain that sin and "the sins of the father's" referred to in the Old Testament held over us.
Look what Job went through, was it a curse, as his wife and friends claimed, or was it just a trial, allowed by God.
People are inherently quick to blame outside circumstances for their own failures. In the 47 years I've been a believer God has always been faithful, even when I haven't been faithful. Yes, there were times when I used God's provision for my own desires and needed to face the circumstances for those actions. God still provided for my need, I was just stupid.

I will pray for you and your friend through all this.

 

[2Christ]

God day Dr. John and welcome to this forum.

we must be careful about what the Bible actually says. A person who has suffered through a terrible family background should not be told, “You are cursed because of your parents,” as though there is nothing he can do about it. That is not the message Jesus gave us. God Himself made an important distinction between the sins of the parents and the responsibility of their children. Through the prophet Ezekiel, God said:

“The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.” (Ezekiel 18:20, NKJV)

That is a very powerful answer to the fear of a generational curse. The son does not carry his father's guilt simply because he is his son. Each person is accountable before God for his own life. God also said: “Yet you say, ‘Why should the son not bear the guilt of the father?’ Because the son has done what is lawful and right, and has kept all My statutes and observed them. He shall surely live.” (Ezekiel 18:19, NKJV)

And then God gives us something even more encouraging. He says that if a wicked person turns away from his sins and begins to do what is right, his previous sins will not be held against him: “But if a wicked man turns away from all his sins which he has committed, keeps all My statutes, and does what is lawful and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die. None of his transgressions which he has committed shall be remembered against him; because of the righteousness which he has done, he shall live.” (Ezekiel 18:21–22, NKJV)

so, scripture gives us every reason to believe that a person can break away from the sinful pattern of his family. But I would be careful about saying that every tragedy, financial problem, illness, or loss is evidence of a curse. Scripture does not give us permission to look at someone's suffering and conclude that God is punishing him because of his parents.

Jesus Himself rejected the idea that suffering automatically proves someone's personal sin. His disciples once asked Him about a man who had been born blind:

“Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” and Jesus answered: “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him.” (John 9:2–3, NKJV)

That should make us very cautious about telling a suffering person, “Your life is going badly because you are under a curse.”
There is another important point. The Old Testament passages about God “visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children” are not teaching that innocent children are automatically condemned for their parents' sins. The same Scriptures show God's mercy toward those who love Him, and Ezekiel 18 explains the principle in great detail: the child who turns away from the sins of his father is not required to carry his father's guilt.

Sometimes what looks like a spiritual curse can also be the very real consequences of a damaged family. A child raised around alcoholism, violence, constant fighting, poverty, neglect, or destructive behavior may carry wounds into adulthood. He may have learned unhealthy patterns without choosing them. Those consequences can affect relationships, finances, confidence, and many other parts of life. But a learned pattern is not the same thing as a spiritual sentence from God.

This is where I would especially encourage the friend in the question. He should not think, “My parents destroyed my life, therefore God has decided that I must suffer too.” That is not the picture of God that Jesus gave us. Our Lord Jesus said: “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28, NKJV) His words are true and certain.

Notice, Jesus says: Come to Me. And: Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.” (John 8:36, NKJV)

That is the answer I would want this man to hear. He should not need to spend the rest of his life looking backward at everything his parents did. He can acknowledge the damage, forgive where forgiveness is needed, learn new ways of living, turn away from anything sinful in his own life, and walk with Christ.

And there is something else that should not be overlooked. The man has suffered tremendous losses. His wife's death after a devastating illness, financial hardship, and years of difficulty would leave almost anyone exhausted. His anger toward God should not simply be answered with condemnation. The Psalms themselves contain people crying out to God in pain, asking why they are suffering and wondering where God is. God is not frightened by an honest cry from a wounded person.

The important thing is what that person does with his pain. He can bring it to God rather than run away from God.

Jesus said: "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4, NKJV)

So if this man believes he has inherited something destructive from his family, I would tell him this: you do not have to continue it. Your parents' sins are not your destiny. Their choices do not determine every choice you will make. Their failures do not mean God has rejected you. You may have inherited wounds. You may have inherited difficult circumstances. You may have learned destructive patterns from them. But you are not required to inherit their rebellion against God.

Turn to Christ and live by His words. Ask God for forgiveness for your own sins. Forgive your parents where you are able. Refuse to continue the destructive things they did. Learn to live according to what Jesus taught. Keep His commandments, love God, love others, do what is right, and continue walking with Him even when life is painful.

Jesus never promised His followers a life without suffering. He promised something greater: that suffering does not have the final word.

And perhaps the most important thing we can say to this man is this: do not mistake a hard life for a God who does not love you.

Jesus Himself suffered terribly while being completely innocent.

So I would tell him, “Whatever happened in your family before you, you can turn to God today. You are responsible for your own walk, and your parents' sins do not have to become your sins. Come to Christ, remain with Him, and let Him lead you into a different life.”

That is far more hopeful than telling a wounded person that he is trapped by the sins of people who came before him.

Blessings

 

[OMC]

Do you believe that a curse is what is occurring here? I know people have hard times in life. However, when it's an occurring all the time no matteer what the person does.you have to begin to wonder? I can understand if a person doesn't try. However, i must say my friend has over tried and things always seem to turn out negative.
If that is what is occurring here? Do you feel in a sense God is unfair and that this person is taking the rap for what his sinful parents did? The bad experiences in his life have soured his belief in God and severely tarnished his faith.

I know you must take accountabiluty for your own life, which he definitely does. However, if he is suffering due ot his parents previous actions then blame should be placed upon them.
What can be done? Thank you.

Doctor, Scripture is brutally clear on one point and endlessly gentle on another: a person can suffer terribly without being under a curse, and God does not punish children for the sins of their parents — Ezekiel 18:20 states it flatly: “The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father.” That means your friend’s relentless hardship is not divine retribution for ancestral sin. But Scripture also shows that life in a fallen world can produce seasons where suffering feels patterned, suffocating, and unbreakable — Job, David in Psalms 42–43, Jeremiah in Lamentations, Paul in 2 Corinthians 1:8 (“we despaired even of life”). None of these men were cursed; they were crushed, exhausted, and spiritually disoriented. That is what your friend is experiencing: not divine hostility, but the cumulative weight of trauma, disappointment, and spiritual fatigue that distorts his perception of God. The biblical answer is not “blame the parents,” nor “God is unfair,” but God is near to the brokenhearted (Ps 34:18), He does not despise a crushed spirit (Ps 51:17), and He never equates prolonged suffering with divine rejection. What can be done? He needs presence, not platitudes; truth, not accusations; and stability, not theological speculation. Walk with him, anchor him in the character of God rather than the chaos of his circumstances, and help him rebuild trust slowly — suffering is not a curse, and his story is not over.

 

[Bingo]

I believe sufficient advice has been put forth.

 

[Tall_Timbers]

Welcome, dr-jon!

 

[TabinRivCA]

Hi dr-jon nice to meet you, welcome to CC! I agree you've been dealt much good advice. I will add again that your friend needs to know a divine promise from God,
"Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: 'Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree.'"Gal 3:13. We believe and have faith that God is for us, not against. Focus on His dynamic promises, hundreds of them.
God bless you, yours and your endeavors

 

[Bible_Locket]

Hello.
I am a new forum member. I am a Physician. I have a friend that can really use helpful advice. At this point, I really don't know what to say to him. Possibly knowledgeable forum members can help? I have a friend who has had what most would term "Very Bad Luck" most of his life. He had a very bad or toxic childhood due to dysfunctional parents / toxic environment (drinking , mental illness and two parents that were incapable and fought all the time) . As an adult my friend never seemed to have any long term happiness. He faced serious financial hardships most of his life, his wife passed away after a devastating illness etc. He really believes that he may be under a Generational curse.

I never knew much about curses. However, I did find passages in the old testament relating to curses etc. I also read some literature online about the same thing. It does say that some curses are "very real". It game some examples. I am sad to say that the examples seem to fit my friend's life exactly. My friend is starting to believe in the curse also. If it's true than i is his parents fault. Just what he confided in me about his Mothers behavior as well as his father. It is such a shame because he is such a nice guy that really tried.

I really feel that his parents (based on what i was told) were very bad sinners and possibly evil in some ways. Which is not his fault at all. However, I believe the parents evil acts and immorality could have been passed to him. He has done everything possible to live a stable life etc. But it seems no matter what he does he ends up dealing with another tragedy and financial problems always seem to be present no matter what he does. He is starting to become so warn out after years of battling these unfortunate happenings that he appears to be giving up mentally and physically. Which i understand. How much can a person take. My friend is a Christian. However, because of the reoccurring pattern of events throughout his life he takes a grim view on God and Religion etc. Which I can understand. He feels that God and life dealt him a unfair hand. Which he just can't accept. Therefore- I guess you could say he is angry with God.

My questions?
Do you believe that a curse is what is occurring here? I know people have hard times in life. However, when it's an occurring all the time no matteer what the person does.you have to begin to wonder? I can understand if a person doesn't try. However, i must say my friend has over tried and things always seem to turn out negative.
If that is what is occurring here? Do you feel in a sense God is unfair and that this person is taking the rap for what his sinful parents did? The bad experiences in his life have soured his belief in God and severely tarnished his faith.

I know you must take accountabiluty for your own life, which he definitely does. However, if he is suffering due ot his parents previous actions then blame should be placed upon them.
What can be done? Thank you.

Welcome.

One could say generatial curses are in the Bible.
And besides the fall of Adam and Eve that God decreed would carry on to all human generations forever.

Though the phrase,generational curse, isn't used it is still there as family actions and patterns that can create lasting consequences for future generations.

You find these examples in Deuteronomy 5, Deuteronomy 24,
Jeremiah 31, Exodus20, Exodus 34, Ezekiel 18.

Faith in Christ to break every chain helps.

 

[dr-jon]

Thanks to all members who replied. I hope he eventually finds peace. I firmly believe a Person can move on from a unhappy past. However, i believe it will take time and some effort on his part. I think if things would start to go right for him for once he would definitely change is outlook on life!

 

[andy700700]

John 16:33
New International Version
33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Matthew 7:13-14
New International Version
13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

Romans 6:23
New International Version
23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Colossians 3:13
New International Version
13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Acts 2:38
New International Version
38 Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.