Help me discern

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TheGrungeDiva

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Hello brothers and sisters.

I have a situation in my life, and I am not sure if God is trying to tell me something. I would like to bring this to you, a bunch of relative strangers, whom I can trust not to worry about "hurting my feelings," who have nothing invested in which path I end up taking .... I see that others have asked similar things in these threads, so it doesn't seem to far off the beaten path.

First, the back-drop. Those of you who have chatted with me online in the chat room or in other threads may know that I am a part-time musician and part-time accountant. I also have a wonderful husband and son, and my husband makes enough so that I wouldn't have to work, but I enjoy my work. As a musician, I direct our church choir, and also sing professionally with a few choirs and occasional other "gigs" as they come up. I feel I am absolutely called to do this, no question about it.

For over 20 years now -- long before I met my husband -- accounting has been my "day job" to support my music habit, as they say. I actually enjoy accounting. That kind of work balances my "right brain/left brain" with my music, and I also feel, since I am good at it, that I'm called to it. Does that make sense? Like, God gave me a gift with numbers, therefore I should use that gift. Many of my accounting clients are non-profits, which is great, but of course those don't make a lot of money ... though I'm not in it for the money.

Anyway.... A few months ago, the couple who owns one of the offices I've been working with offered to sell me their tax office: equipment, client list, everything. This particular office has nothing to do with non-profits, but it could bring in a lot of money, which could mean I could support my non-profit clients even more than I do now, which really excites me. The one draw-back: I needed a loan to buy it, though. So I applied for an SBA (Small Business Association) loan.

I was turned down for that loan, but the bankers said I had enough equity in my home that I could get a personal loan actually for twice what the SBA loan would have been, which would have been even better. So we started down that path, and I continued to do all the stuff like apply for business licenses with the city and set up payroll and everything....

Well, now the personal loan seems to be faltering. And I'm wondering.... Is this God's way of telling me I shouldn't do this? I'm getting all sorts of "signs" in my music career that show it's really going well ... our church choir is growing by leaps and bounds, I'm getting a few solo gigs in other venues, outside of church, which is really exciting. Maybe God is trying to tell me that owning this business will take too much attention away from my family and my music career.

I know God doesn't always direct our lives like that. Free Will is all about letting us make our own decisions, and loving us through it all. So this could just be normal.

I welcome any thoughts any of you might have, from a completely objective point of view. All of my friends are just encouraging me to do it, because they know how excited I am about it, but they could be too subjective I think.
 
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction. (Prov. 1:7)
The beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom; And with all your acquiring, get understanding. (Prov. 4:7)
"Counsel is mine and sound wisdom; I am understanding, power is mine." (Prov. 8:14)
"By me kings reign, And rulers decree justice."
(Prov. 8:15)

I've been reading through the books of wisdom (thank you, Blain!), and this is part of what I read this morning.
Not sure why, but I felt I should share that. :)

The very little I know of accounting is through my baby sister, who acquired her CPA in NYS (which apparently is no small feat, compared to other states).
She has a thriving business with many employees, and loves her work, but it does seem to be all consuming. (especially from January through May. ;) )

I think it can, at times, be difficult to discern whether roadblocks are being thrown up to dissuade us from a particular path, or to teach us to persevere.
But, in my own life at least, normally the Lord uses roadblocks to guide me in HIS path for me. :)
The perseverance part is typically used by God (again, in my life) only for pushing through in obedience to something clearly set forth in the Word.

Hmm...that's probably not particularly helpful, Diva...I'm sorry! *facepalm*
But I have prayed for you, asking the Lord to make His path clear to you.
And to guide you in the paths of righteousness for HIS Name's sake. ♥
(all for God's glory! :) )

Grace to you, Diva. The Lord bless you and keep you.
The Lord make His face shine upon you, and give you peace.
-ellie



 
Would you be comfortable taking the business and doing less work? I mean, working smarter instead of harder, to create more ministry time? Look at my website, read my bio; I have walked both paths just like God seems to be calling you to do. When I "quit music ministry" to teach math (1983), it was just an excuse to get away from the pastor who had his homosexual lover living in the rectory. God kept me out of it for six months, while I learned how to teach. Then I was right back in it. As I write this, I have been praying for four months whether to quit teaching and earning money (and paying taxes for wars I cannot agree with) I don't need, and just doing ministry full time. I can't decide; it's like God made me to do both. I am retired, so the choice is mine now. I would not exchange that past dual path for anything.

Use your skills: Make the list of how your days will go, ask the hard questions: Can you pay the loan back (for me that's a no brainer. God told me years ago "lend to many and borrow from none" applies to me) in a short time? Do you have enough work to keep your brain busy now? How much music time do you need to follow that path too? Can you plan a day that will let you become everything God made you to be?

Then get that list more or less memorized, and use the best skill of all. Start singing to God, and don't stop praising Him until you are at peace.
 
Would you be comfortable taking the business and doing less work? I mean, working smarter instead of harder, to create more ministry time? Look at my website, read my bio; I have walked both paths just like God seems to be calling you to do. When I "quit music ministry" to teach math (1983), it was just an excuse to get away from the pastor who had his homosexual lover living in the rectory. God kept me out of it for six months, while I learned how to teach. Then I was right back in it. As I write this, I have been praying for four months whether to quit teaching and earning money (and paying taxes for wars I cannot agree with) I don't need, and just doing ministry full time. I can't decide; it's like God made me to do both. I am retired, so the choice is mine now. I would not exchange that past dual path for anything.

Use your skills: Make the list of how your days will go, ask the hard questions: Can you pay the loan back (for me that's a no brainer. God told me years ago "lend to many and borrow from none" applies to me) in a short time? Do you have enough work to keep your brain busy now? How much music time do you need to follow that path too? Can you plan a day that will let you become everything God made you to be?

Then get that list more or less memorized, and use the best skill of all. Start singing to God, and don't stop praising Him until you are at peace.

Thank you! This is helpful. I will keep praying on it, and give this a try as well.
 
Matthew 6:33But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Your situation is a tricky one. But in all our priorities of life, there is only one order: Christ first, spouse second, children third, ministry fourth, etc. If we keep our lives in the proper order, God will add to us what we need. If we don't need it, we may not get it. If there's something in your schedule that shouldn't be there, for example, God will not give toward it. My best advice would be what the Scripture says:  1 Thessalonians 5:21 Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.
Prove to yourself through prayer what God wants you to do, and lay aside everything else.
 
One very interesting paradigm shift I've had in the last 6 months is this: sometimes the only the God wants you to do is CHOOSE. I wholeheartedly believe that God is in the small things. He may have a plan or your parking spot, the service on your cell phone, your wrong turn, leaving late, and many more very small things we face. But I also wholeheartedly agree that The Lord just wants us to use our will sometimes. He will work with whatever choice you make.
 
One very interesting paradigm shift I've had in the last 6 months is this: sometimes the only the God wants you to do is CHOOSE. I wholeheartedly believe that God is in the small things. He may have a plan or your parking spot, the service on your cell phone, your wrong turn, leaving late, and many more very small things we face. But I also wholeheartedly agree that The Lord just wants us to use our will sometimes. He will work with whatever choice you make.

I so agree with this. Most of the time, I think if we could understand God the way we understand each other, plain and clear, more often than not he'd be saying, "I am not going to tell you what to do, child. You have to figure this one out for yourself."

I think that's why I'm not ready to throw in the towel and say, "Oh, this must be God's way of telling me not to do this." It could just be nothing more than banks are less likely to give out loans now since the housing bubble popped half a decade ago.

But as you say, sometimes he does speak to us, and sometimes he has very clear things he wants us to do.

Thank you, all, for your insight.
 
Both paths would allow you to touch many people's lives and both paths look like fun, exciting opportunities. I don't have any useful advice, but I'm also sending prayers your way :)
 
One scripture that has helped me when making a choice...
Man may plan his course, but God determines his steps. :)
I have also found that in making the good choice, humility is often that which is needed , the wrong choice reqires none. :)
Most of all, is as Im sure you have already done, trust in Jesus. :)
I hope this has helped you in some small way. :)
Ill be praying for you in Jesus for this descission.

Hugs and God bless
pickles
 
When I read your post a verse came to mind, and lead to another one.
I will be praying for you too! :)

Psalm 55:22
Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.

Proverbs 16:2
Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.