Hi my name is Danny and I really need some help, you see, I have strayed far from my walk with God and I seem to be at a loss for where to restart I grew up in a Christian home, went to a Christian school and then it all just went downhill. You see I'm adopted I never had a perfect beginning my mother was an alcoholic and abused me I was adopted at age 5 but I know that doesn't matter I got kicked out of the Christian school or stupid decisions let's just say that but after that I just kept messing up I dabbled in drugs sold them had sex before marriage I'm only 18 I left my home at my 18th birthday and never came back I was just mad at my parents even though they always treated me right and tried to help me I just felt like they were riding my back too much I wish I could take back all the mistakes I've done in life but the only thing that can wash me clean is God I am also currently a want to be secular rapper I used to be a great fan of Lecrae but my talents were already seated into the secular rap I've been practicing secular rap since I was 13 years old but now I want to use my talents for God I just don't know where to start to restart
Hi Dan,
Warning: I'm not a teen.
So, I'll offer my input, and try to stay away from this group. If you want to continue a conversation, though, I'd be happy to. Just send me a private message.
That said, it is great to hear that you recognize that you have strayed from Christ and that you want to turn to Him again. The good news, of course, is that Christ came to save sinners. So, the fact that you screwed up mightily over the past few years just means that you are qualified to be saved by Christ. The bummer, though, is that -- like all of us -- you will have some baggage that you'll have to deal with for a while even as a Christian. But that's just the life of a Christian. No surprise there.
So, to answer your question: where to begin? Here's my advice:
1) You need to grow in faith. According to Romans 10:17, "faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." Unbelievers don't "get it" -- i.e., they don't "hear" the voice of Christ. Christ's sheep, however, "hear" his voice and follow Him. If you want to grow in faith, you need to grow in the gift of being able to "hear" Christ. And that comes by hearing the word of God. In other words, you need to be studying and memorizing Scripture, and reading/listening to sermons/books about Scripture. The more you immerse yourself in the word of God, the better.
I recommend that you begin with the Gospel of Matthew or the Gospel of John. When you find some verses in there that move you, you should take some time to memorize them and meditate on them (i.e., think hard about what they mean, how you should liver differently because of what they say, what they show you about what God is like, etc.).
As for sermons and commentaries? I recommend that you listen to the lectures and sermons on Scripture from the "Renewing your mind" broadcast --
here. These are both simple enough for a new believer and advanced enough to challenge mature believers. Whoever we are, these broadcasts are great at introducing people to questions we may never have considered before. Once you are familiar with those, I recommend reading
Matthew Henry's commentary on the Bible passages you're studying, as well as
sermons by Jonathan Edwards. All of this is life-changing stuff, and many young Christians have been blessed by using these tools. I was your age when I came to Christ, and God used these to help me build a strong foundation in the word of God.
2) Find a godly man to mentor you. If you know someone, great. If not, find someone. It isn't perfect to have someone remote help you, but that may be a good option if you don't have people in mind. You can also have more than one person helping you, obviously -- and that may be the best way to go. It would allow you to get advice and instruction from different people so that you don't end up following anyone blindly. In the end, Scripture has the final say in what we should believe. If you want some specific guidance and mentoring, I'd be glad to help out -- just shoot me a private message. I tutor/mentor students in a seminary currently. I can do the same sort of thing for you, too. But that's your call, obviously.
Take care.