blessed Mommy,
Ok, wow...huh? You poor thing. I know all too well what it is like to be in your type of situation. I will be praying for you. Ok, now first off I wanted to ask, is this something new with your son? The reason why I asked is I have ALWAYS said its not terrible two's its terrible three's. Even if it were an age thing, he still is testing you to the limit. He somehow has felt he is in control. If Dad has been controlling around you, then he is repeating the behavior. You can break the cycle. You can pray, and pray and pray. Trust God to help you raise this child. For afterall he trusted you with his little man until we are with him in paradise. So now here is some suggestions, I pray they help. I feel very strong about this....
I have four children total, only one still lives at home he is 13 and has Asperger's syndrome ( a form of autism) and the other's are grown and have children of their own. I will say by experience, both my daughters are also in separations and have little ones. Both my grand daughter and my grandson from each family acted out. However not to the level in which you describe your son. Now things are different as both my daughters are super tough Moms,,..Dont know where they got it from, because I was a Mom who gave in just to not have to deal with it and we both know that is NOT the answer.
As time went on, I had the blessing of dealing with a child alot like your son. My oldest son was hyper, backtalked, violent, his FAVORITE character was Spider man and Batman. He loved anything violent. He hit too, bit, and was full or rage. However he also had Asthma to the point he died from it five times and was on inhumane amounts of Steroids just to keep him alive. This same son was later diagosed with Autism, ADHD, Depression, Social Anxiety disorder and tourettes. Now I knew since he was a child something was very different and it was actually age 3 I seen the difference. It's as though he went to bed one child one day, and woke up a different one. I prayed like crazy and begged God to show me what to do. His dad set very bad examples for him as well. Oh how much fathers influence our children. It actualy says that in the Bible. Ok, well I lost full control of that son around age 13. Till this day he is addicted to street drugs and denies there is a God and is so very lost, it kills me inside....but even in all that and all the issues growing up, he is still a major blessing in my life..but I admit, it was easier to ignore than deal alot of times. My mom would say I was well meaning but didnt stay consistent. I feel I was more leniant on him becasue I had almost lost him how many times ya know? Oh and this is NOT about me hon,, I am just giving you examples.
Well when that son entered kindergarden, the teachers said they couldnt take him anymore. They kept saying Mom, he needs to be tested. He exhibits ADHD and you have to find out. I didnt want ot beleive it but after going to a Child Psychologist and a Neurologist, I found out it was true. So the journey of medications and counseling began. Even though at 16 he decided smoking certain drugs were better than legal things, however till this day he shows anger, rage, resentment...etc...So I lost control of that situation..I pray you find control on yours. I know no two families are alike, and I know no two situations are, but I feel for you and I really really beleive you are suppose to get your son tested. I would start with making an appointment with his Pediatrician. Tell the doctor how severe these outbursts are. Let the doctor know he is even mean to the dog. Tell them about his newest sleep pattern and that he hits and bites all the time. You are exhausted from finding ways to cope with it..such as time out...Everything with him is a fight..and that would be the first step. ( well after praying ).....
Ok now, let me share this one. I have four children as I said. Two are boys, and two are girls. My daughters are fine..No problems except my oldest battles severe anxiety and depression. She had witnessed her dad being phyiscally abusive to me in her childhood and it seems to condition our children to be affected. Those first five years are vital to their character, however with GOD all things are possible. I know we can change the cycle regardless. I am getting off track again..So my youngest son as I said just turned 13. Now I will share this. When he was a toddler, out of the blue, he became clingy one day. Meaning he would NOT stay in his bed, he would RUN to mine. He would not go to the bathroom on his own. He was hyper as could be and would NOt sit still for nothing. Very arguementative but also very emotional and sensitive. When he entered Kindergarden just like his brother, they had been tried and tried with him and his behavior. I knew all along he was NOT a bad boy. that something was not right. I had also known this with my oldest son. So one day the school cals and says Mom you have to get your son help. Its not fair to him. I had him in to his doctor but she insisted it was normal and the teachers just didnt want to deal with it. I didnt feel comfortable with that. So off I went to another doctor. Sure enouch after seeing the new Pediatriacian they sent me to a Child Psychologist and he was diangosed with ADHD, I ddint want to except it but wow what a differnce. I was picky about his care. I dont beleive in just shoving children on pills and trusting doctors 100%, I only trust the Lord that much and have learned over the years doctors make alot of mistakes as well. My children were NOT gonna be injured due to their desire to just "dope" them up. However my son was put on meds and WOW what a change..I had my boy back and hew as good and could focus and was not all doped up. Then as he got older, the anger and such came back again. he was back to not being able to sit still, sleep in his own bed, or go to the bathroom without leaving the door open. I knew something was not right. His anger turned into fears that were NOT normal. Like he would NOT go outside becasue he was afraid of ants , can you beleive that? Well that son as I said is 13 now and he was diagnosed with Aspergers and I LOVE this son to peices. I love all my children, but he is such a blessing. We have had the rough roads, letme tell you. I have had teachers tell me they woudl report me if I didnt get him help. I had my son's father telling me I failed our son and that Iwas a horrible Mom for putting him on meds. I followed my gutt ( spirit ) and GOD in all my decisions for this child. I was NOT gonna lose another one to street drugs. So I have been careful...READ alot fo books on his disorders and I do take him to counseling. he battles depression too..which is common in kids with autism. So I guess what I am saying in all this....??? I know its a book, that your NOT alone and this separation may NOt be the root of why he is acting out. It might be many or possibly one other thing. Take him to the doctor as Is aid start there. I would look into couseling. Not anger management, but regular counseling. They teach you how to discipline as well. However I would find out from a medical stand point to make sure he has no medical issues. Wiht my older son I trusted the doctors and listened to ways to punish my son for his behavior, all the while he really couldnt help it. So instead of punishing him I was suppose to be learning how to work with a child liek him and find the clinch that worked make sense? All children are a giftr from God as you know. We dont get manuals describing what is good or bad to do. WE do the best we can do. Seek God for guidance in this. He wants you to raise that Child in the way he should go. Please please dont just give in the towel so to speak. I have done that with my oldest and although there is a HUGE difference age wise, I was once where you are at RIGHT NOW. I didnt do enough, but I dont beat myself up over it anymore, I haveh learned to forgive myself. I just pray for my son to find his way. I know you can do this. God knows you can, as he says he promises to never give us more than we can bare..and he never goes back on his word. So start with the pediatrician but remember Mom you have a stronger instinct for that little man that anyone else..Any doctor or such. I have learned to listen to that inner voice, when reaching out for help. Ususaly its God really talking to us. So be blessed ok? get the help you need..Whatever it may be, God wil guide you...he promises to do so. ITS awesome that you have reached out..that is fantastic...One day he will see how much his mommy loves hiim that she would try so hard to understand him and help him.....God bless you .....Take care...hope this helped some? I hope it wasnt too much about me , me me but I thought my example might help....bye for now Lucy
I am a little inexperienced in the children department, but I thought I would try my best. I really hope you can figure something out and as I previously said you will be in my prayers.
